Advice on Rehoming

[Virginia]

Preface: our decision to rehome is final I know this topic really upsets some people, so I'm hoping I can get some thoughts on the actual process of rehoming our seven-year-old cat.

We adopted our cat seven years ago as a kitten from the local SPCA. She's sweet, and we love her lots, but she's been acting out worse and worse over the past couple of years, and KO's birth 14 months ago seemed to make her absolutely miserable. She hasn't pooped inside her litterbox in 14 months. We've changed litter a bajillion times and taken her the vet twice and NOTHING has changed. She hates our daughter. She's not vicious, but she's afraid of her.

The last straw for me was today when I went into DH's office, which is where the litter box is. There was poop on the floor, and she had gone into the office closet and peed on the infant carseat

She is
-fully vaccinated
-not declawed
-spayed

Oh, and to top it all off, DH is allergic to her. We knew this when we got her, of course. But his allergies aren't as easily managed by his meds lately. So he's miserable. Especially since her litter box is in his office.

I just need to process all this. It's been a long, disgusting couple of years with her pooping everywhere.

So any advice on HOW to find a good home for her?
And how to make the transition smooth for her?
And what kinds of equipment I should send with her?

I'm taking her to the vet on Thursday to get her one last check-up and make sure all her vaccinations are updated. I'm so sad But she's miserable, and we are miserable, and she needs love and attention we can't give. And we need a sanitary house without cat feces and urine in the carpet