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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Old 03-19-2010, 08:29 PM   #16
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

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Originally Posted by erinee View Post
He teaches not only that spanking is okay, but it's necessary and required by the Bible.
SACH does say this.

Six Little Feet, she was referring to TTUAC the Pearl's book, not SACH. I was confused too until I reread it.
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Old 03-19-2010, 08:34 PM   #17
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

Striving4Grace - I would LOVE to hear more about Instructing a Child's Heart! I saw on the Amazon reviews that this has been published 13 years after SACH, and I would be so interested to hear of any changes in his philosophies.
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Old 03-19-2010, 08:40 PM   #18
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetpeasmommy View Post
SACH does say this.

Six Little Feet, she was referring to TTUAC the Pearl's book, not SACH. I was confused too until I reread it.

OH OK!! To may initials......

---------- Post added at 08:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:38 PM ----------

SACH was in my church's library and I got it removed. One of the reasons is that in Canada was Tripp was teaching is illegal.
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Old 03-19-2010, 08:45 PM   #19
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

Shepherding A Child's Heart talks about relationships, but also talks about spanking if the child doesn't show fist time obedience. The only example I recall was the child being told it's bedtime and to put away to crayons and colorbooks. The child should be spanked if they asked to continue coloring before getting up-they should immediately start cleaning up and THEN ask to continue. I found that strange; why can't they ask me if they can keep coloring if they want? I can always say no!
I do think that spanking damages the relationship between parents and child, therefore I think that it has no business in my parenting tool box. Have I used it? absolutely. Did it work? right away, yeah, but it took me a long time to rebuild what i destroyed by using that tool.
I could remodel my house with a hammer, and work on one room at a time, or I could use a bulldozer, and have to rebuild every room at once. The bulldozer is easier right away, but rebuilding each room at the same time wouldn't be worth the first time ease of the bulldozer.
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Old 03-19-2010, 08:59 PM   #20
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

In SACH, Tripp also advocates spanking a 9 month old baby for wiggling during a diaper change.
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Old 03-19-2010, 09:01 PM   #21
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

Well you will not find support for Tripp or his teachings here, I am very grateful that in your case they helped you see free from the Pear's and TTUAC. I am praying for you and your family-and am so glad that God lead you here.
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Old 03-19-2010, 09:44 PM   #22
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

Quote:
Originally Posted by Striving4Grace View Post
I'm very sorry that is how you perceived his position through the book. I attend the church that he pastors and that is not at all what he teaches, believes or advocates. I have been told not to spank my children at all and encouraged more than I am ready to recount at the moment on my recovery from parenting ala Pearl. In fact if you even mention the TTUAC book you can see visible disgust in the eyes of Pastor Tedd and Margy. They are very kind, patient and loving people and I do admit it doesn't necessarily come though in the book but my entire family owes them a debit of gratitude as the healing that has happened as we have detoxed from TTUAC is amazing and for the very first time I can see that my children's salvation most certainly does not depend on anything outside of Christ.

I understand that there are a great deal of ladies here who find even the mere concept of spanking so repugnant that it is impossible to see those who advocate it as anything but monsters themselves writing child abuse manuals and I agree with that in regards to the Pearls due to my own experience.
I found some quotes from SACH:

Page 106: “’Punish him [a child] with the rod and save his soul from death’ (Proverbs 23:14). Your children’s souls are in danger of death—spiritual death. Your task is to rescue your children from death. Faithful and timely use of the rod is the means of rescue.”

Page 151 “Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.”

Page 152: "On some occasions we have had to say to our children, ‘Dear, Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking.'”

Page 154 “Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as laid out above."

FTR, I don't think he's a monster, and I don't think he's as awful as Pearl. But I do think he is wrong and, moreover, he is advising parents to do wrong and damaging things to their children in the name of Jesus and salvation. I'm also very glad to hear he has a new book that is very different from his old teachings. The only Tripp book in my library is his former one, and that's what most people are familiar with. I do hope that he has changed his heart and his teachings.
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Old 03-19-2010, 10:23 PM   #23
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

Quote:
Originally Posted by erinee View Post
I found some quotes from SACH:

Page 106: “’Punish him [a child] with the rod and save his soul from death’ (Proverbs 23:14). Your children’s souls are in danger of death—spiritual death. Your task is to rescue your children from death. Faithful and timely use of the rod is the means of rescue.”

Page 151 “Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.”

Page 152: "On some occasions we have had to say to our children, ‘Dear, Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking.'”

Page 154 “Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as laid out above."

FTR, I don't think he's a monster, and I don't think he's as awful as Pearl. But I do think he is wrong and, moreover, he is advising parents to do wrong and damaging things to their children in the name of Jesus and salvation. I'm also very glad to hear he has a new book that is very different from his old teachings. The only Tripp book in my library is his former one, and that's what most people are familiar with. I do hope that he has changed his heart and his teachings.
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Old 03-20-2010, 12:34 AM   #24
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

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Old 03-20-2010, 04:57 AM   #25
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Old 03-20-2010, 07:22 AM   #26
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

Quote:
They have written a new book called Instructing a Child's Heart that is, IMO vastly different to SACH. I own it so I can answer pointed questions with direct quotes and page numbers if anyone would like. I'm not yet finished with it, though.
I have heard Ted speak and was absolutely charmed by his deeply spiritual approach, his gentle tone, his arresting focus on shepherding children towards Jesus.

I have read an essay he wrote some years ago (but considerably more recently than SACH,) and thought, "this man totally gets grace!" It felt like there was some kind of cognitive dissonance or something between the concepts he talked about in that article, and the practices and attitudes he promoted in SACH. I hoped and prayed that he was on a journey in his understanding how God's grace might impact our parenting -- we all are on that journey.

Mommas, such growth is something to be welcomed and celebrated. It will be interesting to read Instructing a Child's Heart.

I am glad the Tripps have been helpful to you, Striving4Grace, in your healing from TTUAC. I completely agree that the Tripps are in a different (better) league than the Pearls.

---------- Post added at 09:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:13 AM ----------

Quote:
does it seem odd that a church would recommend book on sleep training?
abh5e8, it absolutely is odd. Babywise essentially is an infant management program. (But it's underlying message is that its approach lays the foundation of proper parental authority and improves the child's moral standing. The Ezzos speak to cherished hopes of young Christian parents, and that is what makes the book more dangerous than other scheduling books that don't equate sticking to the schedule as matters of godly authority and morality.)
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Old 03-20-2010, 07:44 AM   #27
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

From IACH pg 116: "Only God can ultimately draw our children to himself. God is the one who will convince them of truth, so they love him and fear him, in spite of the loud attractions of foolishness around them. Our instruction as parents, grandparents and teachers is one of the means he uses (Deut 4:10)
Another means is our faithful and continuous prayers for our young people (Col 1:9-14)

From the chapter "The Sowing and Reaping Principle of Scripture": There are two types of consequences: natural consequences and consequences shaped by authorities. (then goes on to illustrate what a natural consequence is)
Consequences shaped by authority are those where the authority determines the outcome that is called for to underscore the principle or absolute in Scripture. Notice my definition - authorities do not have the right to shape consequences so that children learn "to never do that again if they know what is good for them" (goes on to expand on what he means) Help children to recognize that consequences are not "what I am doing to you" but "what you have brought about by the choices you have made." "You are reaping what you have sown!"

Biblical consequences must be reasonable and logical.

pp70-71

There's so much more good stuff there but I don't know if I'd be over by sharing the remainder of that paragraph. I have not read SACH and I don't plan to because I feel IACH is all I really need. From the excerpts from SACH shared here I can see why they felt the need to write a new book, that does sound like them at all.

I appreciate the prayers going up for our family, it's a hard road and a huge shift in thinking to leave behind the TTUAC mindset and I fail a lot but praise God I have stopped spanking and have rarely been resorting to time outs.
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Old 03-20-2010, 07:53 AM   #28
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

Quote:
I appreciate the prayers going up for our family, it's a hard road and a huge shift in thinking to leave behind the TTUAC mindset and I fail a lot but praise God I have stopped spanking and have rarely been resorting to time outs.
That is so awesome! I'd be interested in hearing more about your story of leaving TTUAC behind. Welcome to GCM!
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Old 03-20-2010, 07:59 AM   #29
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

I'm intrested too and
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Old 03-20-2010, 09:20 AM   #30
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

So has Tripp officially retracted his teachings from the first book in the second? I have seen such things before, where a pastor or other leader will publish a book with something of a disclaimer in the author's notes or prologue that says something about God changing their heart/opening their eyes and that they apologize for anyone mislead or damage caused by their previous teachings, but that they were teaching what they fully believed to be God's will as they perceived it at the time.
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  • ./includes/functions_post_thanks.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_groan.php 

Hooks Called:
  • init_startup
  • cache_permissions
  • fetch_threadinfo_query
  • fetch_threadinfo
  • fetch_foruminfo
  • style_fetch
  • cache_templates
  • global_start
  • parse_templates
  • fetch_musername
  • notices_check_start
  • global_setup_complete
  • showthread_start
  • template_groups
  • template_safe_functions
  • template_compile
  • showthread_getinfo
  • forumjump
  • showthread_post_start
  • showthread_query_postids
  • showthread_query
  • bbcode_fetch_tags
  • bbcode_create
  • showthread_postbit_create
  • postbit_factory
  • postbit_display_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_end
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_start
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_start
  • post_thanks_function_show_thanks_date_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_end
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_start
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_end
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_start
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_end
  • reputation_image
  • bbcode_parse_start
  • postbit_imicons
  • bbcode_parse_complete_precache
  • bbcode_parse_complete
  • postbit_display_complete
  • error_fetch
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groan_bit_start
  • post_groan_function_show_groan_date_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groan_bit_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_post_groan_template_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_post_groan_template_end
  • pagenav_page
  • pagenav_complete
  • tag_fetchbit_complete
  • forumrules
  • showthread_bookmarkbit
  • navbits
  • navbits_complete
  • showthread_complete