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Old 01-15-2010, 02:58 PM   #1
DancingWithElves
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Default s/o parenting self-talk

so do you wanna learn to practice doing this? i do
can we talk about it, and maybe use some examples or whatever?
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Old 01-15-2010, 03:12 PM   #2
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I do. definitely need examples.
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Old 01-15-2010, 03:16 PM   #3
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Not sure I understand but yet is sounds like something I could use. so subbing
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Old 01-15-2010, 03:26 PM   #4
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelaVA View Post
Not sure I understand but yet is sounds like something I could use. so subbing
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Old 01-15-2010, 03:27 PM   #5
allisonintx
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

subbing to come back with my examples.
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Old 01-15-2010, 03:57 PM   #6
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

i have no idea what this is
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:02 PM   #7
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Forgive me if this isn't what you are talking about...

but what works for me is to repeat little mantra's or quotes from people I admire. So like, right now it's "The point is the I don't care if I have well-behaved children. It's that well-behaved isn't the goal. The goal is teaching kindness, respect, dignity, and compassion." by MaryMunchkins on here.


Or, when they are crying/whining/tantruming, I will repeat to myself "it's not about me" in my head. Both to remind myself that they aren't doing it to make me crazy, drive me insane, or because of something I did/didn't do. And also to remember to be present in the moment with them, and not worry about what others may be thinking. HTH
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:05 PM   #8
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

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Old 01-15-2010, 04:09 PM   #9
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

subbing here... although not sure what it is.
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:13 PM   #10
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

so,it's a spin off this thread http://gentlechristianmothers.com/co...d.php?t=341448

basically, you are re-parenting yourself. when you are going through something, and realize you yourself are about to "misbehave", like throw a fit, lash out, express yourself inappropriately somehow, you talk to yourself the way a parent ought to talk to a child in this situation, perhaps, the way your own parents never did.

my example: i don't feel well. my mother used to get angry at me for not feeling well, and would act as if i am ruining her life/am in the way/am a bad child. So, now when I don't feel well, i am real pill! i whine, and i get angry, and I apologize, and i feel guilty, etc.

My self-talk: it's really awful that i don't feel well. i hope i feel well soon, and this is all behind me.[validating my own feelings, showing compassion to myself] i am a valuable, good person, i just happen to have a health problem at this time [gently confronting my negative beliefs] I am going to take good care of myself, and continue to be a loving gentle mother and wife without over-exerting myself. [being realistic, re-visiting what's important now]

now i just have to actually repeat it to myself.

oh, lookie, it's euromom's due date today
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:14 PM   #11
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I'm in
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:16 PM   #12
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk


subbing to follow along
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:29 PM   #13
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Thank you for spinning this! I didn't want to totally derail the other thread and would love to hear more ideas!
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:31 PM   #14
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I'm in. I tend to berate myself when I'm upset (maybe that's what my parents did... I know I saw my dad get mad at dd for losing her temper last time we were there. ) I think GBDing myself would work a lot better, and then whatever I play in my head is a lot more likely to come out of my mouth when I'm parenting dd.

I used to get upset at her for accidents- spilling things- because I do that to myself. I've learned to be a lot gentler with us both. No point in blaming an accident on her. It's just an accident.
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Old 01-15-2010, 04:38 PM   #15
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

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