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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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07-28-2019, 07:21 PM | #1 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 16,108
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Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Baby is about 10 months.
I have to say something!
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k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ISFJ/P Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 22 (adding a dil in August!) dd1 18 dd2 16 ds2 10 |
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07-28-2019, 07:30 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,922
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
I might say something like "yeah, it gets so exhausting sometimes with little ones. I ended up cosleeping rather than sleep training. let me know if you go this way instead and I'll share my favorite safety resources with you."
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07-28-2019, 07:41 PM | #3 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 16,108
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
I said that I had some well meaning friends push me to do that when my youngest was about a year. That I fell asleep for 20 minutes outside his door and when I went in and got him he was still crying and he wrapped his arms around my neck and I told him I'd never leave him to cry alone again. That it went against my mother instincts.
Poor baby. Mom said she cried for 56 minutes.
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k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ISFJ/P Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 22 (adding a dil in August!) dd1 18 dd2 16 ds2 10 |
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07-28-2019, 07:41 PM | #4 |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,848
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Here is a good resource.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/train...ld-go.html?m=1 Sent from my Moto E (4) using Tapatalk
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
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07-28-2019, 08:31 PM | #5 |
Rose Garden
Don't mind my faces. They usually don't mean anything.
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 8,644
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Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Whatever you say, my experience has been that moms are usually more open to advice if it’s given in a private message instead of on their wall/status You probably already know this
It’s so sad to hear about our friends making decisions like that My best friend sleep trained her baby, and it was heartbreaking to me Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Christine WAHM as writer/editor; part-time high school teacher; wife to pharmacist DH since 7.31.2010 Lila in heaven, 8/2015 DD1 "KO" born 8/2017 DD2 GIRL born 1/2020 |
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07-29-2019, 06:10 AM | #6 |
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My kiddos
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: What is a Hoosier????
Posts: 9,978
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
It has always been odd to me that most people find the silence of orphanages horrifying, yet do the same to their own child.
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Kathy , INFJ Loving Wife to Hubby since 8/97 Mama to Dink 12/06 Link 7/07 Wink 3/10 Pink 12/10 and Tink 5/16 Remembering |
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07-29-2019, 12:05 PM | #7 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,359
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
I’m sorry. I haven’t really had any luck convincing people otherwise, but hopefully you will.
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Erin born of water and of the Spirit 4/96 married 5/02 Mama to: 2004 2007 2010 2012 2017 2019 Jan 2, 2024 And many I hope to hold in heaven one day |
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07-29-2019, 01:20 PM | #8 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,922
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Yeah, I guess I participate in the conversations hoping to just let them know there are options but mostly so others who aren't at that point yet will know there are options once they have babies who have night needs beyond social expectations.
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07-29-2019, 03:36 PM | #9 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 16,108
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Quote:
---------- Post added at 10:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:28 PM ---------- I'm not a debater at all. So just put that paragraph about my experience. She had several others say something positive about it.
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k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ISFJ/P Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 22 (adding a dil in August!) dd1 18 dd2 16 ds2 10 |
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07-30-2019, 04:56 PM | #10 |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
Posts: 52,860
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
There is a great article about that, written by a couple that went to a foreign orphanage to pick up the child they were about to adopt. I tried to search for it but couldn't find it. Are you familiar with it? I thought it was called "the loudest silence" but that turned up a band or something . . .
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07-30-2019, 05:21 PM | #11 |
Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 6,531
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Quote not working. . . I’m sorry. I haven’t really had any luck convincing people otherwise, but hopefully you will.
Maybe not directly . . .butno "one" person convinced to not CIO. No "one" person convinced us not to circumcise. Etc. Etc. Just as no "one" person witnessed to me which eventually led me to be saved at age 30. It's about cracks and culture. On the flip side, not saying anything reinforces. Now, I say that and I am an avid avoider of anything not keeping up with friends on facebook. But I don't check it daily and hide most of my friends due to time constraints.
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ESFJ DYT 3/2, Enneagram 9w8 married to My Guy (2003) mom to: Cherished (dd, 12/2005) Warrior (ds, 07/2007) saved & baptized (2004) Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.” Matthew 16:16 |
07-30-2019, 06:23 PM | #12 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,359
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Quote:
That’s true. I just speak up for babies and kids and hope it helps someone.
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Erin born of water and of the Spirit 4/96 married 5/02 Mama to: 2004 2007 2010 2012 2017 2019 Jan 2, 2024 And many I hope to hold in heaven one day |
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07-31-2019, 06:49 AM | #13 | |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Sep 2014
Posts: 2,065
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Quote:
What you said was good! It was right from your heart. |
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07-31-2019, 11:49 AM | #14 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 16,108
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
I unfollowed her so I didn't have to see the daily updates.
---------- Post added at 06:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:48 PM ---------- Thank you. I didn't want to say "don't do it, it's so sad for baby", but something from my experience.
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k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ISFJ/P Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 22 (adding a dil in August!) dd1 18 dd2 16 ds2 10 |
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07-31-2019, 11:59 AM | #15 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,359
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Re: Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.
Quote:
I never thought of cio as like half the orphanage silence, but it makes sense, especially for those who ignore them for 12 hours- half their childhood!
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Erin born of water and of the Spirit 4/96 married 5/02 Mama to: 2004 2007 2010 2012 2017 2019 Jan 2, 2024 And many I hope to hold in heaven one day |
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