I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store

Llee · 06-17-2012, 05:41 PM

And wow. It's the 8th printing from Winter 1997.

Any time a parenting book begins with "This series is not written for the general public but for [our] graduates", that's a big old red flag that perhaps they aren't as Biblical as they claim to be.

"The key to setting limits for your mobile pretoddler is not in controlling his environment (although that should be done) but in instilling a right response to your instructions. The goal is to train him to your voice (which includes tone and modulation), not to the object." (p. 81)

Or my personal favorite promise:

"...parents who raise their children by the principles of Preparation for Parenting find that they have a much greater propensity to yield themselves to parental instruction during this stage of development [five to 15 months old] than children who are demand-fed." (p. 84)

Wow.

LovinBeingMommy · 06-17-2012, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loralee

"The key to setting limits for your mobile pretoddler is not in controlling his environment (although that should be done) but in instilling a right response to your instructions. The goal is to train him to your voice (which includes tone and modulation), not to the object." (p. 81)

I actually did this to some degree. Monkey learned "stop" early on. At first, I'd say it as I put my hand on him to stop him and slowly gave him more opportunities to respond without help. I mostly use it in safety situations, though, like running toward the street. Still works at 2.5.

Peridot · 06-17-2012, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovinBeingMommy

I actually did this to some degree. Monkey learned "stop" early on. At first, I'd say it as I put my hand on him to stop him and slowly gave him more opportunities to respond without help. I mostly use it in safety situations, though, like running toward the street. Still works at 2.5.

Yeah. It won't later.

I'm not saying you did badly.

Just that both of my boys did that, one had been smacked and one not. at 2.5 they were both doing like you said above. Then came 3.....

LovinBeingMommy · 06-17-2012, 06:54 PM

Honestly, I was pretty surprised when it worked this week.

I was really glad, though. We were at VBS and I'd gone across the street without him. He decided to come get me with a car coming. I said "stop" and he froze and started crying because he wanted to be with me. As soon as the car was passed, I went over and scooped him up, telling him how glad I was that he listened.

CelticJourney · 06-17-2012, 07:26 PM

There is a huge difference between developing a relationship with your child and teaching them to trust your words and instructions as opposed to the behavior modification based on fear of punishment that Ezzo teaches in Prep.

katiekind · 06-17-2012, 09:58 PM

Prep for Parenting is appalling--even more appalling than Babywise because of the attempts Ezzo makes to hitch his Parent-directed-feeding wagon to Jesus.

Llee · 06-18-2012, 03:19 AM

Kathy, I've really noticed that too. Control as Biblical.

And the way flicking a cheek, swatting a hand, and spanking is just so casually suggested. I grew up in the Midwest and yes, there was spanking (but not Biblically mandated), but growing up, there was little-to-no swatting or flicking in the church crowd I grew up in. I think my parents, aunts and uncles and the parents of my friends would be pretty appalled at how flicking and swatting are cited as answers to problems like thumb-sucking or a baby trying to feed themselves.

Zooey · 06-18-2012, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loralee

Kathy, I've really noticed that too. Control as Biblical.

And the way flicking a cheek, swatting a hand, and spanking is just so casually suggested. I grew up in the Midwest and yes, there was spanking (but not Biblically mandated), but growing up, there was little-to-no swatting or flicking in the church crowd I grew up in. I think my parents, aunts and uncles and the parents of my friends would be pretty appalled at how flicking and swatting are cited as answers to problems like thumb-sucking or a baby trying to feed themselves.

Yes, this is so true!!
There are someof these "gurus" who have made their reputation (& $$$$) saying things are "biblical parebting", & no one thought it was biblical un til they said so.

LovinBeingMommy · 06-18-2012, 08:00 AM

I had the discussion about whether spanking was biblical or not this week. With a bunch of teenagers. They'd all been spanked and didn't suffer any negative consequences, so it had never occurred to them that spanking can be traumatic. The way one guy just casually stated, "the whole point of spanking is the separation of the bond between the child and the parent" was just awful.

Zooey · 06-18-2012, 08:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovinBeingMommy

I had the discussion about whether spanking was biblical or not this week. With a bunch of teenagers. They'd all been spanked and didn't suffer any negative consequences, so it had never occurred to them that spanking can be traumatic. The way one guy just casually stated, "the whole point of spanking is the separation of the bond between the child and the parent" was just awful.

That is just so sad.....

Peridot · 06-18-2012, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zooey

Yes, this is so true!!
There are someof these "gurus" who have made their reputation (& $$$$) saying things are "biblical parebting", & no one thought it was biblical un til they said so.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LovinBeingMommy

I had the discussion about whether spanking was biblical or not this week. With a bunch of teenagers. They'd all been spanked and didn't suffer any negative consequences, so it had never occurred to them that spanking can be traumatic. The way one guy just casually stated, "the whole point of spanking is the separation of the bond between the child and the parent" was just awful.

saturnfire16 · 06-18-2012, 08:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loralee

"...parents who raise their children by the principles of Preparation for Parenting find that they have a much greater propensity to yield themselves to parental instruction during this stage of development [five to 15 months old] than children who are demand-fed." (p. 84)

I think this is saying that the *children* will have a greater propensity to yield themselves to their parents' instructions, but the way it reads I first thought that the *parents* would have a greater propensity to yield themselves to his instructions for parents. I think it could read either way.

Parents who raise their children by these principles will be more inclined to continue to listen to his book because their instincts and intuition have been ripped away and their bond with their child damaged.

Peridot · 06-18-2012, 08:55 AM

babies who are made to wait for their most basic needs become damaged. They cannot defend themselves. quite frankly I'm surprised that he admits babies can be broken in this way- so that later on they will accept the most merciless punishments.

Zooey · 06-18-2012, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peridot

iwillhope · 06-23-2012, 10:37 PM

I have never read Ezzo anything. I don't think I will ... I need to protect my eyes and keep them healthy.

It's sad that a teenage said that about separating the bond between child and mother. My heart aches. And we wonder why teenagers don't listen to their parents...

06-17-2012, 05:41 PM	#1
Llee Moderator Dancing stands with all seahorses who are journeying to freedom Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 19,197	I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store And wow. It's the 8th printing from Winter 1997. Any time a parenting book begins with "This series is not written for the general public but for [our] graduates", that's a big old red flag that perhaps they aren't as Biblical as they claim to be. "The key to setting limits for your mobile pretoddler is not in controlling his environment (although that should be done) but in instilling a right response to your instructions. The goal is to train him to your voice (which includes tone and modulation), not to the object." (p. 81) Or my personal favorite promise: "...parents who raise their children by the principles of Preparation for Parenting find that they have a much greater propensity to yield themselves to parental instruction during this stage of development [five to 15 months old] than children who are demand-fed." (p. 84) Wow. __________________ It's me, dh, Dressy Bessy (Sept 08) and Dancing Daisy (May 10) Lead the children to see in every pleasant and beautiful thing an expression of God's love for them. Recommend your religion to them by its pleasantness. Let the law of kindness be in your lips. ~Ellen G. White

06-17-2012, 06:54 PM	#4
LovinBeingMommy Rose Garden The many faces of Monkey Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: In the Middle of Nowhere Posts: 5,088	Re: I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store Honestly, I was pretty surprised when it worked this week. I was really glad, though. We were at VBS and I'd gone across the street without him. He decided to come get me with a car coming. I said "stop" and he froze and started crying because he wanted to be with me. As soon as the car was passed, I went over and scooped him up, telling him how glad I was that he listened. __________________ The proud Mama of a Monkey who aspires to be a vet when he grows up and to Baby Girl (nickname coming...) born 8/2019. Most definitely INFJ Be my friend?! (Just let me know you're a GCM )

06-17-2012, 07:26 PM	#5
CelticJourney Administrator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 34,565	Re: I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store There is a huge difference between developing a relationship with your child and teaching them to trust your words and instructions as opposed to the behavior modification based on fear of punishment that Ezzo teaches in Prep. __________________ Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19

06-17-2012, 09:58 PM	#6
katiekind Deactivated Peace be with you. Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: the sweet sunny south Posts: 15,346	Re: I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store Prep for Parenting is appalling--even more appalling than Babywise because of the attempts Ezzo makes to hitch his Parent-directed-feeding wagon to Jesus.

06-18-2012, 03:19 AM	#7
Llee Moderator Dancing stands with all seahorses who are journeying to freedom Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 19,197	Re: I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store Kathy, I've really noticed that too. Control as Biblical. And the way flicking a cheek, swatting a hand, and spanking is just so casually suggested. I grew up in the Midwest and yes, there was spanking (but not Biblically mandated), but growing up, there was little-to-no swatting or flicking in the church crowd I grew up in. I think my parents, aunts and uncles and the parents of my friends would be pretty appalled at how flicking and swatting are cited as answers to problems like thumb-sucking or a baby trying to feed themselves. __________________ It's me, dh, Dressy Bessy (Sept 08) and Dancing Daisy (May 10) Lead the children to see in every pleasant and beautiful thing an expression of God's love for them. Recommend your religion to them by its pleasantness. Let the law of kindness be in your lips. ~Ellen G. White

06-18-2012, 08:00 AM	#9
LovinBeingMommy Rose Garden The many faces of Monkey Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: In the Middle of Nowhere Posts: 5,088	Re: I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store I had the discussion about whether spanking was biblical or not this week. With a bunch of teenagers. They'd all been spanked and didn't suffer any negative consequences, so it had never occurred to them that spanking can be traumatic. The way one guy just casually stated, "the whole point of spanking is the separation of the bond between the child and the parent" was just awful. __________________ The proud Mama of a Monkey who aspires to be a vet when he grows up and to Baby Girl (nickname coming...) born 8/2019. Most definitely INFJ Be my friend?! (Just let me know you're a GCM )

06-18-2012, 08:55 AM	#13
Peridot Rose Garden I stand before you, DeFrocked!! Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Qontinuum Posts: 11,537	Re: I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store babies who are made to wait for their most basic needs become damaged. They cannot defend themselves. quite frankly I'm surprised that he admits babies can be broken in this way- so that later on they will accept the most merciless punishments. __________________ This is me- and them- ds 'Maximus'- 7.5 yrs, and ds 'Minimus'- 5 yrs. "A normal, imperfect, LUMPEN human being!!" Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. and yet, one day Love himself barged into the Temple with a bullwhip and declared enough was enough. I will testify to Love.

06-23-2012, 10:37 PM	#15
iwillhope Rose Blossom Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: sunshine state Posts: 227	Re: I Picked up a P4P manual at the thrift store I have never read Ezzo anything. I don't think I will ... I need to protect my eyes and keep them healthy. It's sad that a teenage said that about separating the bond between child and mother. My heart aches. And we wonder why teenagers don't listen to their parents...

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