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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 07-21-2010, 01:46 PM   #1
gentletitus2mama
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Default A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

I have been rereading the book How to Really Parent Your Teenager by Ross Campbell M.D. and a quote in the discipline really spoke to me because I am dealing with this in my older boys who were ezzo and pearl parented when they were toddlers/ preschoolers.

Quote:
The problem is that just as punishment isn't the same as discipline, punishment isn't the same as love, either. It DOES train the child, and it trains with this message:"I love you and relate to you completely according to your behavior." The result has been an anger that has been burrowed deep into the children , who then nurtured it until that anger reemerged in destructive and self-destructive ways. ......I believe stealth anger is the furnace of our currently angry world. And I think that much of that anger can be traced to parents who meant well but who failed to understand the true nature of discipline. They punished away the bad behavior but in doing so they created anger that filled the void where unconditional love should have been.
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missing babe '96,Jared 2003, Eliana Joy 2007,and Shiloh Faith 3-2010 I will walk with you in heaven my sweeties.

Last edited by gentletitus2mama; 07-26-2010 at 01:45 PM. Reason: spelling errors driving me crazy,lol
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The Following 14 Users Say Thank You to gentletitus2mama For This Useful Post:
Ajani (07-26-2010), CarissaJoy (07-22-2010), ClassicMom (07-25-2010), emerald (08-01-2010), JenLovie (07-22-2010), marigold (07-30-2010), mokamoto (07-29-2010), RubySlippers (07-25-2010), SortaCrunchy (07-22-2010), SuperDudesMama (07-28-2010), Tasmanian Saint (07-22-2010), WingsOfTheMorning (07-22-2010)
Old 07-21-2010, 01:47 PM   #2
Peridot
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

Wow! and yeah- Spot. On.
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Old 07-21-2010, 01:50 PM   #3
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

Excellent quote, thanks!
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Old 07-21-2010, 02:44 PM   #4
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

Really good quote. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 07-22-2010, 04:39 AM   #5
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

Wow. That gave me chill bumps. So powerful! Thank you for sharing that.
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Old 07-25-2010, 08:06 AM   #6
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

Love this quote!! I'm printing it out and putting it on our refrigerator. Thanks for sharing it.
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Old 07-27-2010, 09:08 AM   #7
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

Love this!!
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Old 07-28-2010, 07:16 AM   #8
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

Love this quote! Thank you!!!
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Old 07-28-2010, 11:58 PM   #9
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

Oh, wow. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 07-29-2010, 01:05 AM   #10
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Default Re: A quote that was a great aha! moment for me!

That was really wordy , but in a good way. Spot on !!
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