Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive

[katiekind]

You know, what I would want to point out to someone who finds it convincing that Michael Pearl always whacked himself before using the switch on a child (as described in the last paragraph of the article) is that it's NOT the individual whacks that are so dangerous to parents and children. It's the teaching that parents continue to switch and repeatedly switch until they achieve complete rulership over the child. It's the anger that rises up in parents as they start to feel that their child is bucking the regime, and the tool they have is to spank the child into submission.

I know the Pearls are big on relationship building (string-tying and all that) but while THEY may have been able to whack their children dispassionately and repeatedly from room to room as the book describes and remained emotionally cozy with their children, normal parents are probably going to experience emotional distancing and anger. Now...as Betsy points out....add in the fact that this was a foster child.

[DogwoodMama]

You are totally correct, Kathy. Over time, I had a stronger relationship with my stepmom, and my physical abuse was not as severe as my brother's. He never really "attached" to her, he was attached to me and our dad, and her punishment/control of him interferred with his ability to attach to her (makes *total* sense to me!)... over time the abuse, both physical, emotional and other abuse just got worse and worse because there was just an attempt on my stepmom's part to "control" him but no real loving relationship present.

[hsgbdmama]

Originally Posted by mamaKristin

It sure does...

Ditto. Fortunately, I also am thankful that this precious little one is in the arms of Jesus, where no one can ever strike him again.

I printed this out to my disk for future reference, for anyone who says these methods are not harmful!

Some of the Pearls' defenders say you can't blame them for parents who take their advice to an unhealthy extreme.

This is the same claptrap that Ezzo teaches, isn't it -- say on the one hand to purchase the 'supplies' by the dozen and place them EVERYWHERE but yet don't take things to an 'unhealthy extreme' -- at what point is that line crossed?!?

I hope the Pearls are investigated over this -- you wouldn't be allowed to strike an animal with plumbing line, I bet, and they not only advised parents on using this material, they also told parents where to get it!!!

[Teribear]

My heart is just breaking. That poor little boy. It makes me SO angry that the Pearl's and Ezzo's and Tripp's and Dobson's of the world can write this stuff and then act as if they don't promote this kind of thing and the problem lies in the parent's application of it. Truly TTUAC is a child abuse manual and I hope and pray that someday they are held legally liable for the parents that follow it to the letter like this mom apparently did with this being the result.

On a purely selfish note, the one thing that really bugs me about this article is that it makes it sound like the homeschool community and the evangelical community is some homegenous whole that follows idiots like this.

[BluegrassMama]

Teribear, IKWYM. Sometimes I feel like just randomly saying to people, "You know, we don't spank our kids." Just so more folks will hear of the concept.

I don't know what to do. Do any of you mamas know if there will be any consequences for the Pearls? Weren't they already investigated once, with nothing being found? Does that mean they can't be investigated again?

[hsgbdmama]

Originally Posted by BluegrassMama

I don't know what to do. Do any of you mamas know if there will be any consequences for the Pearls? Weren't they already investigated once, with nothing being found? Does that mean they can't be investigated again?

Different case, different investigation. And promoting and instructing on 'discipline' methods -- without any firm guidelines -- that can kill a child is not protected under religious freedom. that they get charged as accessories to murder!!!!

[milkmommy]

quote]"[The Pearls] are talking about something that would fit in a purse," Suarez said. "The only way you can kill a child with that is by shoving it down his throat." a gun knife enough rope to strangle a person ect fit into a purse :/

The minister advises one mother on his Web site: "I always give myself one swat before I swat the child to remind myself how much force to exert. It stings the skin without bruising or damaging tissue. It's a real attention-getter."

This is about as effectlive as tickling your self its totally not the same :/

Deanna

Not to quibble. . . ..but, since when do 2-foot lengths of pipe fit inside a purse? A 'normal' purse anyway. And hitting someone long enough with just about anything that can cause pain *can* kill.

[The Pearls] are talking about something that would fit in a purse," Suarez said. "The only way you can kill a child with that is by shoving it down his throat."

Um. . .did anyone else kind of think that this was a totally *bad* thing to say, in a totally *bad* way? Can you say, "Enough rope to hang yourself with"?

The evil will be found out. . .it always is. And it seems to be starting. . . usually things like this get shoved under the carpet.

[Myrtle]

Most parents I know spank their kids on occassion, but they would never think to go that far. Where was the mother's internal guiding that said, "Seriously, this isn't right." So the Pearls suggest 10 strikes, but if your child is bruised, what are you doing? If her child was unresponsive, beaten to death, why didn't she realize what was happening well before she got to that point? Why didn't she stop?

I don't care what some child-rearing manual says, you have to use some common sense. I don't even do the Bear Hug anymore with dd b/c it freaks her out to be confined, and I saw how it affected her, stopped doing it, and used other ideas from the 5 steps that work better with her.

I am saddened for the children, angry that the Pearls get praised in Christian cirlces for their abuse manuals, and baffled that a mother who supposedly had "good" intentions wouldn't stop when she saw the pain the child was going through.

That poor, poor beautiful little boy

[Cheyenne]

The article said something about him being wrapped tight in a blanket where he suffocated. What is that all about? Is that a different method they suggest or was this something the mom came up with?

[AmyDoll]

That is the saddest most disgusting thing I've read in a very long time.

"beat so badly he limped?" Good heavens, may God have mercy on that mother's soul.

Mat 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and [that] he were drowned in the depth of the sea. [KJV]

[hsgbdmama]

Here is The Message version of that verse:

“But if you give them a hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone around your neck. Doom to the world for giving these God-believing children a hard time! Hard times are inevitable, but you don’t have to make it worse—and it’s doomsday to you if you do.

Matthew 18:6-7

[righteous mama]

Poor, poor baby...and all those babies living this right now. I cannot even fathom how a mother could do this to her child.