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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 08-29-2005, 11:32 PM   #1
milkmommy
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Default A telvision ephany or Why GBD?

Okay don't laugh a strange time for this to happen but..
I'm a non spanker non punishment I was an almost complete non spanker before Cecilia ans as shes grown I've been lucky enough to have support such as here to help define my beliefs. However I've never really been able to put my finger on excatly why I don't like punishments.. Then tonight during an old 70's rerun of Good times it came to me. In this epsoide there is a gang problem and the youngest son has joined hes been hiding the fact but they find a jacket owned by the gang. The mother calls her son and demands to know if its his... (comercial brake) I suddenly realized that this wasn't an unusual situation. Child did something unapproved parent confronts them. So I thought okay the next step can be handled three ways
1) punitivly IF the childs used to punishment then his decession to sat the truth is not on his actions of being in the gang but rather how much punishment hes illing to take. The mind is now asking it self should I say its mine and risk being punished or should I lie risking further punishment latter for lying. However the action that brought him into this situation is no longer the issue

2) permissivly, he can say yes Its mine what about it, the parent can dissmiss it half hearlty say I wish your wouldn't join but then do nothing to make it happen. problem being its okaying the behavior and in some cases it could mean natural conquences far worse than the child is capabable to handling.

3) GBD In this the focus stays focused on the action, the child doesn't fear punishment but at the same time they also know their actions won't be dismissed. This will be the moment when it all will come out. Good or bad and this will be the moment that they face them selfs and their own decessions head on.


For my child I choose #3

Deanna
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Old 08-30-2005, 09:29 AM   #2
ArmsOfLove
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Default Re: A telvision ephany or Why GBD?

so what happened? Was that the episode where a 17 yo Rog was spanked???
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Old 08-30-2005, 09:50 AM   #3
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Default Re: A telvision ephany or Why GBD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove
so what happened? Was that the episode where a 17 yo Rog was spanked???
no not in this one but I know the one your refering too The father had already died buy this time. I really missed the immediate reaction all I know is that it turned out that the child was scared that he joined to avoid being beat up himself and the mother stood up for him. I wouldn't call this family gentle as I said it was an odd moment to realize something

Deanna
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Old 08-30-2005, 09:50 AM   #4
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Default Re: A telvision ephany or Why GBD?

Quote:
Was that the episode where a 17 yo Rog was spanked???


Are you serious?
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Old 08-30-2005, 09:51 AM   #5
ArmsOfLove
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Default Re: A telvision ephany or Why GBD?

Yeah--he was 16 or 17 and I don't remember why, but he was
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Old 08-30-2005, 09:54 AM   #6
milkmommy
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Default Re: A telvision ephany or Why GBD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadie
Quote:
Was that the episode where a 17 yo Rog was spanked???


Are you serious?
yea and it wasn't even his son, I caught a tale end of that epsoide after the fact, not sure what happened but I remeber him saying "I didn't know someone could love their child while hitting them" and the grown ups saying we do it because we love them I hate scenes like that that seem to glorify spankings as "loving" acts.

Deanna
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