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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
A public forum.
Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 03-19-2005, 10:12 PM   #1
kris10s
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Default Something I've been thinking about...

We went to Ash Wednesday services at the beginning of Lent with DD at the episcopal church around the corner (we missed liturgy ) and when the priest put ashes on her little forehead, it really made an impact on me. As much as I am her mother, I am also her sister in Christ. This has been really helpful to me in thinking through parenting issues. Most Christians wouldn't serve wine to a fellow Christian who was a recovering alcoholic. Why do they discpline their children and then set them up to do the same things again?
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Old 03-19-2005, 10:21 PM   #2
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Interesting. Wow, that is such a good way of putting it.

I wonder how many Christian parents really understand that concept...that their job is to keep their children away from temptation, the same way they would with other adults. In that light, when the Ezzo's and Pearls advocate purposefully tempting your child in order to make them fail, it's even more wrong b/c it is really leading a Christian brother or sister into sin, which is exactly the opposite of what we are called to do.

Have you discussed this with anyone at church? i think it's a brilliant thought.
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Old 03-19-2005, 10:24 PM   #3
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

wow, that really opens up some heavy stuff.

if my sons are my brothers in christ they need to be "one-anothered" as other brothers in christ. not only would i not tempt them to fail (a la pearl) but i wouldn't *beat* them into submission, i would not seek to "control" them, i would seek to "help" them.

and it's interesting to think about Christ as a servant and our role as parents. serving my children, meeting their needs, both physical and spiritual, humbling myself and not insisting there be a "payback" for wrongdoing.

good topic, kristen.
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Old 03-20-2005, 05:21 AM   #4
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

that's an amazing ' aha ' moment for me!
a lot of the stuff i have wrestled with lately, comes into clearer focus with that bit of info.
thanks for sharing it here.

blessings.....
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Old 03-20-2005, 05:59 AM   #5
kris10s
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Thanks ladies!

Sadie, I have discussed it with a few people at church, including one Ezzo/Pearl mom, and everyone has been very receptive. I think it's hard to argue with, but at the same time, I don't think the NaziEzzo/Pearl mom will change her ways anytime soon either. I hope it makes her think...
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Old 03-20-2005, 06:08 AM   #6
TulipMama
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Quote:
As much as I am her mother, I am also her sister in Christ. This has been really helpful to me in thinking through parenting issues. . . . Why do they discpline their children and then set them up to do the same things again?
Wow. Picturing that moment has impacted me.

Those ideas of my boys being my brothers in Christ, not simply my children, really had a profound impact on me. Hubby and I discussed that in depth, and I'd say that was one of the key moments in my gbd journey. Reading Galatians 6:1-2 in context of our children as well as the usual Church discipline context, followed up on that.

Those who are strong, gently correct those in sin. Bear one another's burdens. . .

I realized how easy it was for me to be harsh with my children, my brothers in Christ--when I would never dream of being that harsh with an adult brother in Christ (or even an adult non-Believer. . .)
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Old 03-20-2005, 03:18 PM   #7
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Great insight. Thanks for sharing your epiphany!
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Old 03-20-2005, 10:05 PM   #8
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

That is a really profound thought....my children are my brothers and sister in Christ. If more parents saw their kids that way, I believe they would treat them much differently.
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Old 03-20-2005, 10:08 PM   #9
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Another good thought for discussion with a mom friend that has "joined" me on the journey. Thanks! I'll be chewing this one for a while.
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Old 03-21-2005, 11:43 AM   #10
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Wow. that's a lot to think about. I think I need a .

Seriously, that perspective in very convicting.
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Old 03-21-2005, 11:47 AM   #11
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Thought-provoking insights.

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Old 03-21-2005, 11:57 AM   #12
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

I've been thinking along these same lines myself. When you correct your children, are you not correcting a brother or sister in Christ? How does the Bible tell us to deal with sin in others?

"Brethern, If ANY person is overtaken in misconduct or sin of any sort, you who are spiritual [who are responsive to and controlled by the Spirit] should set him right and restore and reinstate him, without any sense of superiority and with all gentleness, keeping an attentive eye on yourself, lest you should be tempted also." Gal. 6:1

What does that look like in parenting?

Stephanie
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Old 03-21-2005, 12:12 PM   #13
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

That is very thought provoking.
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Old 03-21-2005, 01:29 PM   #14
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Stephanie--that passage is being discussed in the Theological Discussions folder.
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Old 03-21-2005, 01:32 PM   #15
kris10s
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Default Re: Something I've been thinking about...

Thanks for encouraging me, everyone!

I was hoping this wouldn't turn into a "are our children REALLY our brothers and sisters in Christ?" discussion, and it hasn't! But I was prepared (mentally) just in case...
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