The sad thing is...

[mommy2abigail]

That once you read about these methods (Ezzo-haven't read Pearl) they stick with you forever, even if you later decide you are totally against that method. I read Ezzo before I had Abby, and unfortunately, bought into the fact that babies should 'fit into' our lives and we should not go out of our way for them. Crying was somehow a nuisance and we should do what we can to 'make' baby learn that crying will get him nothing. Babies can manipulate and control you and they are full of sin, and our job as Christian parents is to break their will. All of this is biblical, of course, since perfect, first time obedience to parents is the first step in obeying God. Of course (thanks to Dr.Sears and this board) God showed me a different way, His way. Gentle, merciful, gracious. But sometimes (more often than I care to admit) that nagging voice in the back of my head says 'Abby shouldn't knock that spoon out of your hand, she's testing you' 'Abby shouldn't wiggle on the changing table, if you smack her bottom, she'll learn not to' 'Abby should sleep through the night witout you' and it is so sad, because I'll ALWAYS have those thoughts. I'll ALWAYS doubt my instincts because this book put it in my head that babies are manipulative, their cries are bad, and that they do things purposefullly to make you miserable. I hate that. I've been so frustrated with Abby and I'll think that's it, she's just gonna 'have to learn'...but when I really think about it, the reason I'm so bothered is not even because I care, but because I read in this book that she SHOULD be this way. That I SHOULD want her to sleep through, not cry, and sit in a playpen for hours by herself. I don't look at her in a positive way all the time, and I know it's because of that book. That's not fair to her. Anyway, I had to vent...sorry.