I'm about to let this baby cry it out...

MCP1982 · 11-10-2014, 06:01 PM

He can't get through a sleep cycle on his own, and cries when put in his crib; I'm exhausted. DH is traveling for work, so I get no breaks. I just want a couple hours of sleep strung together!
I nurse him down, but eventually just bring him in bed with me so I can get some sleep.

blondie · 11-10-2014, 06:05 PM

Been there. I am there.

houseforjoy · 11-10-2014, 06:06 PM

co sleeping really does help you get better sleep - is there a reason you don't want to or can't?
how old is your baby?
we can try and help you problem solve, but sometimes just telling yourself over and over it doesn't last forever really does help.

houseforjoy · 11-10-2014, 06:09 PM

i just read your intro, so you little one is 1? sometimes if you just need the space to yourself for a bit you can try nursing them down in your bed, and then slowly peel yourself away, then you can go lay on the couch for a bit of away time. or since your dh is gone, you could try nursing him on that side of the bed and then slowly schooching over to your side

i get it. it really is hard. and sleep is such a needed thing.

solatido · 11-10-2014, 06:19 PM

Related to the PP's suggestions about nursing him down in your bed and gradually sneaking away, have you tried a heavyish warm blanket on the baby? Or a hot (warm) water bottle? Or does he always want to be latched on?

CelticJourney · 11-10-2014, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by houseforjoy

i just read your intro, so you little one is 1? sometimes if you just need the space to yourself for a bit you can try nursing them down in your bed, and then slowly peel yourself away, then you can go lay on the couch for a bit of away time. or since your dh is gone, you could try nursing him on that side of the bed and then slowly schooching over to your side

i get it. it really is hard. and sleep is such a needed thing.

When my oldest was 1, my dh went to Bosnia for 8 months (showing my age) and that is what we did - nursed down in the bed and then I quietly got up and had some quiet 'me' time. If I fell asleep, I needed the sleep, so it was a win/win.

esperanza · 11-10-2014, 07:29 PM

I totally get it. My son is 15 months and probably wants to compete with your little one for the title of world's worst sleeper.

I'm also totally exhausted. We co-sleep, and I don't know what we'd do if we wouldn't. Would you like some information about how to co-sleep safely? Is that your hesitation? I'm all about doing whatever we need to do to get enough sleep. I do all nighttime parenting because of my dh's work schedule. It is really hard and frustrating.

MCP1982 · 11-10-2014, 07:56 PM

He's 13 months, and I do bed share. But he's still up every 45 minutes. I can put him in his crib for the first couple sleep cycles, which is the only time I have to get things done or spend with DH if he is home. I don't mind the bed sharing, but DH is over it and wants him out. I just want ds to sleep a few hours together so I can too. I think this is contributing to some anxiety and depression. I know I shouldnt compare, but it seems my friends' babies are all sttn, walking, and talking and ds isn't. I'm trying everything - sleeping on an incline, chiropractic, cranial sacral therapy, massage, pain meds, nothing helps.

rcsmom · 11-10-2014, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MCP1982

He can't get through a sleep cycle on his own, and cries when put in his crib; I'm exhausted. DH is traveling for work, so I get no breaks. I just want a couple hours of sleep strung together!
I nurse him down, but eventually just bring him in bed with me so I can get some sleep.

Is there a reason you are concerned about cosleeping with him? I know I get the most sleep doing that.

SewingGreenMama · 11-12-2014, 08:12 PM

I wanted to come and say while it does get better some kids are simply much needier at bedtimes.
My oldest is 7, he will not go to sleep unless I'm in the room.
Which means if he wakes up too much in the middle of the night to pee etc he'll come to our room because he can't fall back asleep in his room.
And he does share a room with my 3yo, who needs me to fall asleep and still finishes out 60-70% of our night in my bed (usually ON me lol).
I sometimes wish I could put them both in the full bottom bunk and let the help each other fall asleep, but that just doesn't work.

Hmmm, maybe this wasn't so encouraging. But your not doing anything wrong, some babies need more night time care. My 3yo nursed 6x a night until he was 2, then he nursed 3x a night until he weaned at 3y3m.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

MCP1982 · 11-13-2014, 06:16 PM

Wow, the responses are overwhelming. Thank you. So I of course did not let him CIO, but I was feeling so desparate for sleep and a break its how I felt.
I'll try to answer some questions I remember reading.
Elimination diet - you wouldn't believe the diet I was on. My LC laughed that I basically ate air. I've been able to reintroduce everything now.
We have tried eating at different times, and dinner right before bed works the best for us.
He was a reflux baby and weaned off those meds. Though I had been rolling the idea around in my head that perhaps we should try meds again. Thank you to those that mentioned it. I went to the ped today and started zantac this afternoon. Will take a couple days, but hopefully that will help.
I do sometimes go into the spare bedroom to sleep so my DH can get good sleep, and so he doesn't disturb us when he gets up to go to work. (When he is in town)
His mattress is at an incline, and that seems to help with a nap.
I don't remember what else you all asked or suggested, but thank you for the responses. I think I have been struggling with a bit of ppd, plus I have ptsd that rears its ugly head this time of year, and the time change hasnt helped either. So with being lonely, tired, and feeling crazy, I needed to vent.
I love this baby more than I ever imagined I could, and I will hold him, cuddle him, and nurse him when he needs me.
Maren

sweetpeasmommy · 11-13-2014, 06:27 PM

It's a hard time of year and solo parenting is hard especially with an infant. I hope the meds help him to feel better. Try to do something nice for yourself every day. Even if it seems lame.

esperanza · 11-13-2014, 07:00 PM

I totally understand sleep deprivation making you think or say things that you wouldn't really do. You sound like such a dedicated, loving mommy. I hope things start improving soon. It's so hard when they can't tell us what is wrong.

MegMarch · 11-13-2014, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MCP1982

.
I love this baby more than I ever imagined I could, and I will hold him, cuddle him, and nurse him when he needs me.

And you know, even though you might not feel it, God's caring for you this way too. It's a rough road, these first few years of exhaustion and being so very needed. You are doing great

Soliloquy · 11-13-2014, 09:40 PM

I really understand. There have been many times when, during a dark day (or month) I've said, "I'm done with XYZ! Starting right now I'm going to ABC from NOW ON!!" Only to realize I was just at the end of my rope and needing to re-charge somehow. Like the PPs said, take care, try to do something every day that brings a smile to your face. Take it very easy on days when you're not getting enough sleep. Paper plates, etc.

11-10-2014, 06:01 PM	#1
MCP1982 Seedling Rose Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 15	I'm about to let this baby cry it out... He can't get through a sleep cycle on his own, and cries when put in his crib; I'm exhausted. DH is traveling for work, so I get no breaks. I just want a couple hours of sleep strung together! I nurse him down, but eventually just bring him in bed with me so I can get some sleep.

11-10-2014, 06:05 PM	#2
blondie Rose Garden A little bit crunchy, a little bit rock n' roll! Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 10,298	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... Been there. I am there. __________________ homeschooling mama to four dear ones Lilla Rose Stylist

11-10-2014, 06:06 PM	#3
houseforjoy Rose Garden trying to live like olaf "this is the best day of my life!... and quite possibly the last!" Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: in the sunshine with my own personal flurry Posts: 9,563	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... co sleeping really does help you get better sleep - is there a reason you don't want to or can't? how old is your baby? we can try and help you problem solve, but sometimes just telling yourself over and over it doesn't last forever really does help. __________________ Amanda, ENFJ Mommy to my bounty: ds 13 years, dd 12 years, dd 9 years , dd 6 and ds 4 Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?....because I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

11-10-2014, 06:09 PM	#4
houseforjoy Rose Garden trying to live like olaf "this is the best day of my life!... and quite possibly the last!" Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: in the sunshine with my own personal flurry Posts: 9,563	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... i just read your intro, so you little one is 1? sometimes if you just need the space to yourself for a bit you can try nursing them down in your bed, and then slowly peel yourself away, then you can go lay on the couch for a bit of away time. or since your dh is gone, you could try nursing him on that side of the bed and then slowly schooching over to your side i get it. it really is hard. and sleep is such a needed thing. __________________ Amanda, ENFJ Mommy to my bounty: ds 13 years, dd 12 years, dd 9 years , dd 6 and ds 4 Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?....because I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

11-10-2014, 06:19 PM	#5
solatido Rose Trellis Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,272	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... Related to the PP's suggestions about nursing him down in your bed and gradually sneaking away, have you tried a heavyish warm blanket on the baby? Or a hot (warm) water bottle? Or does he always want to be latched on? __________________ Harmoniously married since 2006 to my wonderful DH SAHM to T, born 7/09, H, born 5/12, J, born 9/14, and V, born 5/17

11-10-2014, 07:29 PM	#7
esperanza Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 5,240	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... I totally get it. My son is 15 months and probably wants to compete with your little one for the title of world's worst sleeper. I'm also totally exhausted. We co-sleep, and I don't know what we'd do if we wouldn't. Would you like some information about how to co-sleep safely? Is that your hesitation? I'm all about doing whatever we need to do to get enough sleep. I do all nighttime parenting because of my dh's work schedule. It is really hard and frustrating. __________________ Wife to mi amor Mama to my gift from the Lord (07/2013)

11-10-2014, 07:56 PM	#8
MCP1982 Seedling Rose Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 15	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... He's 13 months, and I do bed share. But he's still up every 45 minutes. I can put him in his crib for the first couple sleep cycles, which is the only time I have to get things done or spend with DH if he is home. I don't mind the bed sharing, but DH is over it and wants him out. I just want ds to sleep a few hours together so I can too. I think this is contributing to some anxiety and depression. I know I shouldnt compare, but it seems my friends' babies are all sttn, walking, and talking and ds isn't. I'm trying everything - sleeping on an incline, chiropractic, cranial sacral therapy, massage, pain meds, nothing helps.

11-12-2014, 08:12 PM	#10
SewingGreenMama Rose Trellis Deuteronomy 11:19 Join Date: May 2012 Location: Tennessee Posts: 3,052	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... I wanted to come and say while it does get better some kids are simply much needier at bedtimes. My oldest is 7, he will not go to sleep unless I'm in the room. Which means if he wakes up too much in the middle of the night to pee etc he'll come to our room because he can't fall back asleep in his room. And he does share a room with my 3yo, who needs me to fall asleep and still finishes out 60-70% of our night in my bed (usually ON me lol). I sometimes wish I could put them both in the full bottom bunk and let the help each other fall asleep, but that just doesn't work. Hmmm, maybe this wasn't so encouraging. But your not doing anything wrong, some babies need more night time care. My 3yo nursed 6x a night until he was 2, then he nursed 3x a night until he weaned at 3y3m. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ "Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo

11-13-2014, 06:16 PM	#11
MCP1982 Seedling Rose Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 15	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... Wow, the responses are overwhelming. Thank you. So I of course did not let him CIO, but I was feeling so desparate for sleep and a break its how I felt. I'll try to answer some questions I remember reading. Elimination diet - you wouldn't believe the diet I was on. My LC laughed that I basically ate air. I've been able to reintroduce everything now. We have tried eating at different times, and dinner right before bed works the best for us. He was a reflux baby and weaned off those meds. Though I had been rolling the idea around in my head that perhaps we should try meds again. Thank you to those that mentioned it. I went to the ped today and started zantac this afternoon. Will take a couple days, but hopefully that will help. I do sometimes go into the spare bedroom to sleep so my DH can get good sleep, and so he doesn't disturb us when he gets up to go to work. (When he is in town) His mattress is at an incline, and that seems to help with a nap. I don't remember what else you all asked or suggested, but thank you for the responses. I think I have been struggling with a bit of ppd, plus I have ptsd that rears its ugly head this time of year, and the time change hasnt helped either. So with being lonely, tired, and feeling crazy, I needed to vent. I love this baby more than I ever imagined I could, and I will hold him, cuddle him, and nurse him when he needs me. Maren

11-13-2014, 06:27 PM	#12
sweetpeasmommy Rose Garden Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 30,329	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... It's a hard time of year and solo parenting is hard especially with an infant. I hope the meds help him to feel better. Try to do something nice for yourself every day. Even if it seems lame. __________________ Amy eNFp Wife to ISTJ DH 1997 Mom to one Sweet Boy 10/2004

11-13-2014, 07:00 PM	#13
esperanza Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 5,240	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... I totally understand sleep deprivation making you think or say things that you wouldn't really do. You sound like such a dedicated, loving mommy. I hope things start improving soon. It's so hard when they can't tell us what is wrong. __________________ Wife to mi amor Mama to my gift from the Lord (07/2013)

11-13-2014, 09:40 PM	#15
Soliloquy Rose Garden Why climb a mountain? Because it's there! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Selkirk Mountains Posts: 52,860	Re: I'm about to let this baby cry it out... I really understand. There have been many times when, during a dark day (or month) I've said, "I'm done with XYZ! Starting right now I'm going to ABC from NOW ON!!" Only to realize I was just at the end of my rope and needing to re-charge somehow. Like the PPs said, take care, try to do something every day that brings a smile to your face. Take it very easy on days when you're not getting enough sleep. Paper plates, etc.

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