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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 03-18-2011, 02:38 PM   #91
Hermana Linda
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

Is there really that much difference between using gluesticks and/or plastic plumbing line and using dowels and/or leather strips? Is it just that the plastic doesn't leave marks?
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Old 03-18-2011, 02:44 PM   #92
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

Ok, this is off the top of my memory going back to what I've read before, but my understanding is that the use of the glue sticks and plumbing line are recommended specifically because they don't leave marks, BUT the reason they don't leave marks is because the damage they do is not superficial but more deep tissue damage. It is more painful and ultimately more dangerous when the whipping is prolonged, but without the same evidence.
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Old 03-18-2011, 03:04 PM   #93
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

So, it is the plastic which causes that effect?

My point in asking the question though was that people seem more shocked by the use of plastic tubing and glue sticks than the use of other instruments. I have noticed this all around the internet.
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Old 03-18-2011, 04:39 PM   #94
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

Well...my understanding is rudimentary but I think it has to do with how pliable they are, they are not rigid like a belt or stick that gives a "crash" affect, but because there is give on both sides, for some reason the damage done is deeper, but also more painful.

I do think that many of the people who are doing this likely don't understand that the lack of bruise doesn't mean it's a more gentle injury than a beating that would leave one.
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Old 03-18-2011, 08:39 PM   #95
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

That makes sense.
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Old 03-18-2011, 10:24 PM   #96
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShiriChayim View Post
Well...my understanding is rudimentary but I think it has to do with how pliable they are, they are not rigid like a belt or stick that gives a "crash" affect, but because there is give on both sides, for some reason the damage done is deeper, but also more painful.

I do think that many of the people who are doing this likely don't understand that the lack of bruise doesn't mean it's a more gentle injury than a beating that would leave one.
I think that's right. I mean, I have heard that, in the old days (hopefully never again!), that rubber hose used to be used in the same way, for the same reason.
My stepfather had a teacher when he was in school who used a rubber hose.
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Old 03-18-2011, 10:32 PM   #97
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

I knew someone who was using a glue stick. She kept one in every room. I managed to convince the group not to read SACH but read Families where Grace is in Place instead.

The glue stick thing still makes me .
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Old 01-13-2012, 11:44 PM   #98
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

I too am "WOW"!!! And realizing how sheltered I am in my own little happy world with my family...people actually do that? How does one spank with a glue stick n e way? Actually, I don't want the visual of that . I will be praying for those peeps that do that!!!

---------- Post added at 12:44 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:41 AM ----------

Also, that's so awesome that you went over to those guys and asked them!!! I am trying to come out of my shell, and change antisocial habbits so I totally admire you for it
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:07 AM   #99
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

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Originally Posted by zzubadoo View Post
I too am "WOW"!!! And realizing how sheltered I am in my own little happy world with my family...people actually do that? How does one spank with a glue stick n e way? Actually, I don't want the visual of that . I will be praying for those peeps that do that!!!

---------- Post added at 12:44 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:41 AM ----------

Also, that's so awesome that you went over to those guys and asked them!!! I am trying to come out of my shell, and change antisocial habbits so I totally admire you for it
Welcome zzubadoo No, you don't want the visual on that. The people I know who use them keep hitting until the child submits and is "broken"

And, they laugh about it.
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:22 PM   #100
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

The glue stick in question is for a hot glue gun, not the little one for paper. It's similar to the plastic plumbing supply line.
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Old 01-14-2012, 05:16 PM   #101
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

I have never heard of such a thing......WOW, that is so sad
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Old 01-20-2012, 02:49 PM   #102
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShiriChayim View Post
Well...my understanding is rudimentary but I think it has to do with how pliable they are, they are not rigid like a belt or stick that gives a "crash" affect, but because there is give on both sides, for some reason the damage done is deeper, but also more painful.

I do think that many of the people who are doing this likely don't understand that the lack of bruise doesn't mean it's a more gentle injury than a beating that would leave one.
I'm just so physically sickened by people who do this.

Also, glue sticks are denser than most wooden dowels or wooden spoons - thus imparting MORE force IN ADDITION TO the "whip" effect their flexibility imparts.
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Old 02-08-2012, 03:09 PM   #103
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

The first time I ever heard of this was a couple of years ago by my son's counselor/social worker! She was telling me that she knew that a lot of people used belts to spank their kids and she had to keep reporting them to CPS for leaving marks. She told me that she recommends that people should use glue sticks instead!

I told her that I don't need that kind of advice and that I don't spank my kids at all. I asked her why she didn't just recommend that parents not spank and she said that it's so ingrained in people that they wouldn't listen to her.

Anyway, I am a very curious person- I decided to try this, (on myself- of course!! lol) but I didn't realize that glue sticks could be 10 inches long. I just grabbed a 4 inch one and flicked my leg a few times with it. Umm- that was dumb! I am very fair skinned too. But I had to explain my red marks to my dh- LOL. But I didn't do it hard and had red marks on my leg for at least 3 days- so I am not sure about this theory, but it sure made me sick that people would actually do this to children!
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:11 PM   #104
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

My parents used one of those on my younger siblings, I had grown up past spanking age when they got it. Actually, I think they spanked me with it once, I remember it being incredibly painful. It shocks me now, thinking about it as a parent. I know my parents love me, but that definitely crossed a line.
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Old 03-05-2012, 03:02 PM   #105
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Default Re: Gangbangers and Gluesticks

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My parents used one of those on my younger siblings, I had grown up past spanking age when they got it. Actually, I think they spanked me with it once, I remember it being incredibly painful. It shocks me now, thinking about it as a parent. I know my parents love me, but that definitely crossed a line.
I understand the shock that you feel when you look back at your childhood and realize some things your parent/s did was not ok.
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