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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

 
 
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Old 02-24-2010, 05:09 PM   #1
Wonder Woman
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sensitive so...just how DOES a person wind up hurting their children?

(an old blog post from a no-longer maintained blog)

According to Wikipedia...these are the characteristics of someone who will torture another person.


Motivation to torture It was long thought that "good" people would not torture and only "bad" ones would, under normal circumstances. Research over the past 50 years suggests a disquieting alternative view, that under the right circumstances and with the appropriate encouragement and setting, most people can be encouraged to actively torture others. Stages of torture mentality include:
  • Reluctant or peripheral participation(no one WANTS to hit their kid)

  • Official encouragement: As the Stanford prison experiment and Milgram experiment show, many people will follow the direction of an authority figure (such as a superior officer) in an official setting (especially if presented as a compulsory obligation), even if they have personal uncertainty. The main motivations for this appear to be fear of loss of status or respect, and the desire to be seen as a "good citizen" or "good subordinate".(God says you must beat them with the rod to save their soul from Hell. You are a reprobate, humanistic, godless person if you do not hit your child.)

  • Peer encouragement: to accept torture as necessary, acceptable or deserved, or to comply from a wish to not reject peer group beliefs. At worst this leads to torture gangs roaming the streets seeking dominant torture status.(So and so is teaching a nifty class on how to do things 'God's Way.' My pastor says we must 'Train up a Child'.Good Christians obey their pastor.)

  • Dehumanization: seeing victims as objects of curiosity and experimentation, where pain becomes just another test to see how it affects the victim.(I wonder how many times I will have to spank my 6 month old before he stops wriggling when I change his diaper? That manipulative little brat deserves what he gets for defying my God-given authority!)

  • Disinhibition: socio-cultural and situational pressures may cause torturers to undergo a lessening of moral inhibitions and as a result act in ways not normally countenanced by law, custom and conscience. (Good Christians take their children, assault their bodies, inflict pain and sometimes bruises, then hit the child again if they don't smile and acknowledge it as necessary to their spiritual well-being.)

  • Organisationally, like many other procedures, once torture becomes established as part of internally acceptable norms under certain circumstances, its use often becomes institutionalised and self-perpetuating over time, as what was once used exceptionally for perceived necessity finds more reasons claimed to justify wider use.(My 4 month old gummed my nipple when she nursed! My 7 month old crawled off the blanket! My 2 year old asked TWICE for a treat after I said no! My 4 year old wanted to stay at the park two minutes longer than I said! My 12 year old back-talked me! My 14 year old expressed an opinion that I disagreed with!)
Am I the only one who draws a parrallel here? Or do others see, too, how group think mentality leads to the abominable treatment of our children? Otherwise loving parents, church leaders, teachers - all under the influence of parenting gurus and mis-interpreted Scripture. There needs to be some severe accountablity for those who peddle child torture in the name of the Lord. How God must weep at each cry from one of the little ones....How many tears He has kept in a bottle - tears that never should have been cried....

Last edited by Wonder Woman; 02-24-2010 at 05:11 PM.
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