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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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12-11-2007, 12:11 PM | #1 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,944
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I almost cried!
Today I was at my church's unofficial moms' gathering called "MOMTIME." Usually we just sit around and gab about non-mom stuff, which is a nice break from the constant mommy-ness of life. Today one mom talked about how her 5-month-old, who WAS sleeping through the night, suddenly decided to wake multiple times each night for the last few nights. She looked really tired and obviously needed help figuring out what to "do." One of the moms jumps to her feet to proclaim the goodness of Babywise. I'm not sure if anyone noticed my whole body cringe, but after she was done with her praise, I very quietly mentioned some of the negatives of the Ezzos and told the new mama to trust her instincts--not her emotions or her tired body, but her instincts. If her instincts said that her baby needed comfort and maybe a little boobie-snack, then go with that. I assured her that this will NOT last forever (but I didn't tell her that it could last years) and that she WOULD get to sleep again in this life.
Well, later in our MOMTIME the same mama tells us that she paddled her son (not sure of exact age, but elementary school aged) after she got off the phone the other day with another one of the moms because he said he didn't want her (the mom) to touch him. She said, "OH!! You don't want me to touch you?!?! Well, I'll touch you where you will really feel it!" Again, a full-body cringe. I didn't say anything because ALL the moms with "spanking-age" children started talking about their funny spanking stories. I just wanted to cry and say, "Gee, I'm not sure what you taught your son except that his emotions and personal boundaries are subject to your pride and anger. That sure wouldn't make me feel very safe or help me to trust you with big issues down the road" This is the VERY first time I have witnessed first-hand casualness toward spanking and the "littleness" of children. My heart is just aching for that boy!
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Melody Married since 1999, rebuilding since June 2013 Hybrid Mommy to ds1 (12/02, SPD) dd (9/04) ds2 (10/07, C22 disorder) ds3 (5/08) ds4 (1/09) dd2 (9/11)
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12-11-2007, 12:13 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: catching up on the laundry
Posts: 41,294
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Re: I almost cried!
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allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . . |
12-11-2007, 01:12 PM | #3 |
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 34,561
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Re: I almost cried!
It's hard to see it played out before you.
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Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19 |
12-11-2007, 01:25 PM | #4 |
Deactivated
Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 54,024
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Re: I almost cried!
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12-11-2007, 01:34 PM | #5 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,204
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Re: I almost cried!
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12-11-2007, 01:40 PM | #6 |
Rose Garden
I am where I am only by the Grace of GOD
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Where I choose to be
Posts: 9,230
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Re: I almost cried!
that poor baby
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Elizabeth. (ISFP) Single mama to "Sissy" 6/07 "Bubba" 3/09 "Princess" 9/11 read about *some content may be sensitive* my life My Poetry I am not the princess in the tower, I have slayed my own dragons. I am the queen of my country leading the way. If you want me you need to walk beside me not in front of me or behind me. |
12-11-2007, 01:52 PM | #7 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: I almost cried!
That poor boy. I can not understand that type of parenting at all.
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12-11-2007, 02:17 PM | #8 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 7,481
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Re: I almost cried!
I'm sorry you had to hear that. I hope they take what you said to heart.
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Honored wife to my amazing husband
Mommy to E-boy (11) Nosey (8) Mr. T (6) and Rosie (5) |
12-12-2007, 06:18 AM | #9 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
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Re: I almost cried!
Poor little mite......
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"A person's a person, no matter how small"--Dr Seuss |
12-12-2007, 06:38 AM | #10 |
Administrator
Friend of the Fellowship
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: The South
Posts: 33,212
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Re: I almost cried!
Eek.
I'm sorry you had to witness that.
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-zak Wife to MrZak Mama to the ZakKids - 2005, 2007, 2010, 2012 and 2017 Dedicated GCMer since 2003 Administrator and Moderating Cradled, Babes, Breastfeeding, Beautiful Mothers and Circumcision |
12-12-2007, 07:51 AM | #11 |
Rose Garden
Back for Friendships
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Northeastern US
Posts: 20,863
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Re: I almost cried!
Yuck. Why I avoid "Mom groups".
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~ Becca ~ Wife to C., WFHM, Life long learner Living in "organized chaos" with 2 handfuls of kiddos. DS1(21), DS2(20), BD1(20), DD1(19), BS1(17), DS3(16), BS2(14), DD2(14), BD2(10), BD3 (8) (B = Bonus/Step) |
12-12-2007, 08:30 AM | #12 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 2,459
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Re: I almost cried!
THats aweful... I'm sorry that happened & you had to hear all about it.
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Wife to my black-belt since 12/04 mom to: one sweet girl 12/06 one snuggly boy 8/10 |
12-12-2007, 08:37 AM | #13 |
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Re: I almost cried!
'nuff said.
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12-12-2007, 09:15 AM | #14 | |
Deactivated
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8,066
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Re: I almost cried!
Quote:
This is not a spanking/not spanking issue. This is not allowing a child to have body boundaries. It was a clear and completely abusive act on the part of the mom to hurt a child who requested body space and autonomy. I'd be desparately worried for this family, and not because "they spank". The sick thinking and action described in the post is deeply flawed and hurtful. |
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12-12-2007, 09:58 AM | #15 | ||
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
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Re: I almost cried!
Quote:
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"A person's a person, no matter how small"--Dr Seuss |
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