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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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05-26-2012, 11:07 AM | #1 |
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I am no man!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: KS
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Light bulb moment
I grew up being spanked as the first resort form of discipline. Often, I would react by getting angry (of course), and throwing a giant fit. I just now, at 30, realized in part why it was never just one spanking.
I didn't react properly. I didn't do what I was supposed to. I was *supposed* to submit and admit the error of my little kid ways. I was supposed to somehow connect the pain I was experiencing with my action and realize that I had done the wrong thing and remember not to do it again. I was supposed to be penitent and sorrowful for my actions. Except that I hadn't read the book. I didn't know that I was supposed to be sorry for what I'd done. I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I just knew that somehow, causing me pain didn't serve to ease the anger or the frustration of the person inflicting it. I did know that it hurt and it made me angry and that my anger and feelings were then directed immediately towards the pain and the person inflicting it. Spanking interferes with the cause and effect relationship of discipline and consequences because it comes between the erroneous action and the real-world results. |
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05-26-2012, 11:28 AM | #2 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,673
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Re: Light bulb moment
Quote:
Its hard to recognize sometimes.. I grieve for the little girl I was, and I wish I could go back and give her a heads up. The bolded should go in the Radom Quote section at the top of the page. :reckon |
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05-26-2012, 11:31 AM | #3 |
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Location: Oklahoma
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Re: Light bulb moment
This is a great response to the idea that a spanking is supposed to get the child's attention.
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05-26-2012, 11:31 AM | #4 |
Moderator in Vegetarianism & Veganism
Arrange whatever pieces come your way. ~VW~
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Re: Light bulb moment
I would egg my parents on. I had a really tough bottom. My once broke a spoon on my bottom. I think she stopped spanking around that time. I was too "strong willed". I am glad I didn't come from a Dobson family. I am sure I wuldn't believe in God.
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05-26-2012, 11:38 AM | #5 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,452
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Re: Light bulb moment
Mostly what I remember is the relief when it was all over (I guess my parents thought that was repentance) But I think what spankings were really "good for" was the threat factor. All they had to do the next time something happened they didn't like is say "do you want a spanking?"
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05-26-2012, 11:45 AM | #6 |
Moderator in Vegetarianism & Veganism
Arrange whatever pieces come your way. ~VW~
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Re: Light bulb moment
I always said yes.
My parents didn't spank for godly reasons. They did it because they thought you spanked when kids were bad. So, I seriously don't have that connection.
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Heather The Prophet 23yob, The Peacemaker 20yob, The Warrior 17, The Little Flower 11yog and The Surfer 9yob and our little birdie girl 4yo. |
05-26-2012, 11:47 AM | #7 |
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Re: Light bulb moment
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05-26-2012, 11:45 AM | #8 |
Deactivated
I am no man!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: KS
Posts: 26,727
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Re: Light bulb moment
It was a hairbrush here. And my parents did like Dobson quite a bit. They respect the way we're raising our children, though, to their great credit.
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05-26-2012, 11:46 AM | #9 |
Moderator in Vegetarianism & Veganism
Arrange whatever pieces come your way. ~VW~
Join Date: Mar 2005
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Re: Light bulb moment
My mom is super proud of me. She loves how far I have come
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Heather The Prophet 23yob, The Peacemaker 20yob, The Warrior 17, The Little Flower 11yog and The Surfer 9yob and our little birdie girl 4yo. |
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