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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 08-15-2014, 01:55 PM   #46
Saoirse
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Default Re: SACH review

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stefanierose88 View Post
I was given SACH when my oldest was only about 8 months old (when he started spanking is own child, baby!). I was not well mentally at the time. I was severely depressed and my husband was very sick in the hospital for a long time. I was alone and had reached my limit but didn't have the clarity of mind to realize I needed help, badly!

Anyway, against this backdrop, I have this book telling me that the ONLY loving way to discipline (at every SINGLE act of disobedience) is by spanking. In fact SACH says that "you do not take Gods Word seriously" if you don't, and that "even if you don't understand why" or "if you are upset still do it".

That caused me to ignore my gut that said "don't do this". I have done many regretful things in my life, many shameful things, but nothing hurts me more than the fact that I spanked my innocent baby girl.

I could weep now just thinking of it. It kills me inside. I was SO close to her as a baby. She was my first, my only, just the two of us when my DH was gone. She never left my side, she was extremely attached to me. As her mom, I broke her trust. I will never forget that pain. I will never forget her brokenness when she realized her mommy, her beloved mommy who she trusted, had hit her.

Nothing comes close to the pain I feel for that. Nothing.

SACH is dressed up in biblical language but its lies, hurtful hurtful lies.

Please know how dangerous it is. In particular, for women who may be overwhelmed, depressed, etc. like I was. Its bad news. It can easily lead to abuse, once you think hitting your child is God ordered and needed. I thought I HAD to do it.

I am changed and I will NEVER ever ever ever do that again.
My heart hurts for both you and your daughter reading that. The good thing is that trust can be rebuilt and that this doesn't have to damage your relationship. Thank you for sharing.
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Pam - MOM to three amazing kids!!!

"A victim lives in fear. A Survivor endures. A victim is weak and powerless, paying for what was not her doing.
A Survivor has grown strong because she knows the price is not hers to pay, the sin is not hers to atone." - unknown


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Old 08-17-2014, 11:48 AM   #47
Zooey
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Default Re: SACH review

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Originally Posted by Hermana Linda View Post
Thank you for your testimony.
Amen.
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