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Old 08-04-2018, 02:57 AM   #1
Lena O.
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"Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow." - Helen Keller
 
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Default Swearing

How do I get my oldest to STOP SWEARING EVERY TEN SECONDS?!
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Old 08-04-2018, 06:35 AM   #2
Singingmom
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Default Re: Swearing

How old is he?
Is he being exposed to swearing in a way that you can limit, like movies?
You have probably taught and talked about why you don't want him to swear.
Does he have some good substitutes for cuss words? If he's doing it for attention, he might appreciate some comic alternatives. If he's wanting to express emotion maybe look for some more intelligent vocabulary for him.
Others will have more ideas, but those are my thoughts.
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Old 08-04-2018, 10:03 AM   #3
Lena O.
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Default Re: Swearing

He's 13. I don't swear (much ) and neither does my husband, so I'm thinking he probably picked it up from TV or school, or perhaps is exposed to it when he spends time with his mother. But I'm not sure it's my place to ask my husband's ex-wife to curb her tongue around her own children. Screen time is about as limited as it gets around here. I'm considering a swear jar.
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Old 08-04-2018, 11:12 AM   #4
Virginia
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Default Re: Swearing

What are your house rules on swearing?
What sorts of conversations (not lectures) have happened about curse words and why they are offensive, why they are rude, and why they are disrespectful?

Is he swearing AT people or just in general? "Bleep you, Mom" is different than saying "bleep!" when he stubs his toe. One is verbal abuse. The other is just a reaction to pain.

Is there a chance he's doing it for attention-- for a reaction from you? How's your connectedness to him right now-- one-on-one time? Filling his love tank?

ETA: Reality is that he's going to hear cursing. Limiting exposure is good, if you can, but if he's in school, he's going to hear it. The question is how does your family deal with it, and what are the language expectations in your family?
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Old 08-04-2018, 06:18 PM   #5
Singingmom
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Default Re: Swearing

Right, you can't address his mother. I don't imagine that would go well.

A swear jar could be helpful. What would the positive version of a swear jar look like?
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Last edited by Singingmom; 08-04-2018 at 06:20 PM.
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Old 08-28-2018, 04:12 PM   #6
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Default Re: Swearing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Singingmom View Post
Right, you can't address his mother. I don't imagine that would go well.

A swear jar could be helpful. What would the positive version of a swear jar look like?
I think it would have use the proceeds to do a fun thing. It's probably a grey area, but instead of keeping the money you use it for a fun outing, game or something the entire family could enjoy. You could even label it the family fun jar or something like that.
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