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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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03-19-2010, 08:29 PM | #16 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 30,329
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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Six Little Feet, she was referring to TTUAC the Pearl's book, not SACH. I was confused too until I reread it. |
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03-19-2010, 08:34 PM | #17 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Oklahoma City
Posts: 1,249
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
Striving4Grace - I would LOVE to hear more about Instructing a Child's Heart! I saw on the Amazon reviews that this has been published 13 years after SACH, and I would be so interested to hear of any changes in his philosophies.
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Megan - eNFp Advocate
Homemaking freelance writer & author passionate about gentle mothering, natural living, social justice and great coffee. Married to my college sweetheart and the SortaCrunchy mama to my big girls (8 and 5) and brand new (2/7/13) twin boys. Co-author of Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year |
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03-19-2010, 08:40 PM | #18 | |
Rose Garden
one who loves coffee
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: where I wait for SPRING!!!!
Posts: 14,197
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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OH OK!! To may initials...... ---------- Post added at 08:40 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:38 PM ---------- SACH was in my church's library and I got it removed. One of the reasons is that in Canada was Tripp was teaching is illegal.
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Sheryl mom of three young feminists Pumpkin 2001-Midge 2005-Cookie 2007 “I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.” ― Dr. Seuss, Yertle the Turtle and Gertrude McFuzz |
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03-19-2010, 08:45 PM | #19 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,811
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
Shepherding A Child's Heart talks about relationships, but also talks about spanking if the child doesn't show fist time obedience. The only example I recall was the child being told it's bedtime and to put away to crayons and colorbooks. The child should be spanked if they asked to continue coloring before getting up-they should immediately start cleaning up and THEN ask to continue. I found that strange; why can't they ask me if they can keep coloring if they want? I can always say no!
I do think that spanking damages the relationship between parents and child, therefore I think that it has no business in my parenting tool box. Have I used it? absolutely. Did it work? right away, yeah, but it took me a long time to rebuild what i destroyed by using that tool. I could remodel my house with a hammer, and work on one room at a time, or I could use a bulldozer, and have to rebuild every room at once. The bulldozer is easier right away, but rebuilding each room at the same time wouldn't be worth the first time ease of the bulldozer.
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Darci wife to Lester and gentle homeschooling mama to 6 boys: Jake (20) Jesse (19) Jamie (16) Ben (14) Greyson (11) Gabe (8) INFP and DYT 3/2
Last edited by mom2boys; 03-19-2010 at 08:46 PM. Reason: correcting grammar and spelling |
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03-19-2010, 08:59 PM | #20 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Idaho
Posts: 4,924
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
In SACH, Tripp also advocates spanking a 9 month old baby for wiggling during a diaper change.
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Sara (ISTJ) married to V since 7/99 Strawberry Shortcake- 3/07 Huckleberry Pie- 9/11 |
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03-19-2010, 09:01 PM | #21 |
Rose Garden
one who loves coffee
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: where I wait for SPRING!!!!
Posts: 14,197
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
Well you will not find support for Tripp or his teachings here, I am very grateful that in your case they helped you see free from the Pear's and TTUAC. I am praying for you and your family-and am so glad that God lead you here.
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Sheryl mom of three young feminists Pumpkin 2001-Midge 2005-Cookie 2007 “I know, up on top you are seeing great sights, but down here at the bottom we, too, should have rights.” ― Dr. Seuss, Yertle the Turtle and Gertrude McFuzz |
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03-19-2010, 09:44 PM | #22 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8,072
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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Page 106: “’Punish him [a child] with the rod and save his soul from death’ (Proverbs 23:14). Your children’s souls are in danger of death—spiritual death. Your task is to rescue your children from death. Faithful and timely use of the rod is the means of rescue.” Page 151 “Remove his drawers so that the spanking is not lost in the padding of his pants.” Page 152: "On some occasions we have had to say to our children, ‘Dear, Daddy has spanked you, but you are not sweet enough yet. We are going to have to go back upstairs for another spanking.'” Page 154 “Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening his body when you want him to sit on your lap. The discipline procedure is the same as laid out above." FTR, I don't think he's a monster, and I don't think he's as awful as Pearl. But I do think he is wrong and, moreover, he is advising parents to do wrong and damaging things to their children in the name of Jesus and salvation. I'm also very glad to hear he has a new book that is very different from his old teachings. The only Tripp book in my library is his former one, and that's what most people are familiar with. I do hope that he has changed his heart and his teachings.
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Erin, Saxophonist for Ginger and Her Baked Goods and The Starving Artists, Youth Services Specialist at the Elkhart Public Library, and Mom to Zach (3/98) and Elio (3/02) Last edited by erinee; 03-19-2010 at 09:48 PM. |
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03-19-2010, 10:23 PM | #23 | |
Banned
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,002
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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03-20-2010, 12:34 AM | #24 |
Rose Garden
In the beautiful National Park...
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 4,385
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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Keiren not Leiren or Reiren or Helren ! *attempting the gentle mothering life in Australia* Single mum to Squirrelboy- 13 Girlygirl - 10 Horace - 7 Boris - 6 Card carrying member of the INFP |
03-20-2010, 04:57 AM | #25 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,445
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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03-20-2010, 07:22 AM | #26 | ||
Deactivated
Peace be with you.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: the sweet sunny south
Posts: 15,346
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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I have read an essay he wrote some years ago (but considerably more recently than SACH,) and thought, "this man totally gets grace!" It felt like there was some kind of cognitive dissonance or something between the concepts he talked about in that article, and the practices and attitudes he promoted in SACH. I hoped and prayed that he was on a journey in his understanding how God's grace might impact our parenting -- we all are on that journey. Mommas, such growth is something to be welcomed and celebrated. It will be interesting to read Instructing a Child's Heart. I am glad the Tripps have been helpful to you, Striving4Grace, in your healing from TTUAC. I completely agree that the Tripps are in a different (better) league than the Pearls. ---------- Post added at 09:22 AM ---------- Previous post was at 09:13 AM ---------- Quote:
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03-20-2010, 07:44 AM | #27 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,318
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
From IACH pg 116: "Only God can ultimately draw our children to himself. God is the one who will convince them of truth, so they love him and fear him, in spite of the loud attractions of foolishness around them. Our instruction as parents, grandparents and teachers is one of the means he uses (Deut 4:10)
Another means is our faithful and continuous prayers for our young people (Col 1:9-14) From the chapter "The Sowing and Reaping Principle of Scripture": There are two types of consequences: natural consequences and consequences shaped by authorities. (then goes on to illustrate what a natural consequence is) Consequences shaped by authority are those where the authority determines the outcome that is called for to underscore the principle or absolute in Scripture. Notice my definition - authorities do not have the right to shape consequences so that children learn "to never do that again if they know what is good for them" (goes on to expand on what he means) Help children to recognize that consequences are not "what I am doing to you" but "what you have brought about by the choices you have made." "You are reaping what you have sown!" Biblical consequences must be reasonable and logical. pp70-71 There's so much more good stuff there but I don't know if I'd be over by sharing the remainder of that paragraph. I have not read SACH and I don't plan to because I feel IACH is all I really need. From the excerpts from SACH shared here I can see why they felt the need to write a new book, that does sound like them at all. I appreciate the prayers going up for our family, it's a hard road and a huge shift in thinking to leave behind the TTUAC mindset and I fail a lot but praise God I have stopped spanking and have rarely been resorting to time outs. |
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03-20-2010, 07:53 AM | #28 | |
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love
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 23,071
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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03-20-2010, 07:59 AM | #29 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: In a box with a fox
Posts: 13,420
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
I'm intrested too and
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03-20-2010, 09:20 AM | #30 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Central Kentucky
Posts: 3,921
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
So has Tripp officially retracted his teachings from the first book in the second? I have seen such things before, where a pastor or other leader will publish a book with something of a disclaimer in the author's notes or prologue that says something about God changing their heart/opening their eyes and that they apologize for anyone mislead or damage caused by their previous teachings, but that they were teaching what they fully believed to be God's will as they perceived it at the time.
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