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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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02-22-2010, 04:12 PM | #46 |
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Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 54,024
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
I think gently pointing out other things that work can start to open a Pearl follower's mind. but trying to tell them they are wrong or being dangerous can shut off further communication. Prayer is the best, however.
Sometimes someone who is following Pearl or another program just doesn't know about other alternatives. One of the reasons I think spanking is lazy parenting is b/c it is an easy formula to follow. Kid does wrong, kid gets spanked. Whereas PP/GD etc is kid does wrong, mom figures out solutions and implements them. Like with the scissors, the easiest solution is for mom to keep them out of reach and give child opportunities to explore. But that requires more work than spanking, you know? |
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02-22-2010, 04:24 PM | #47 |
Rose Garden
The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unpunctual alien attack!
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,895
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
Hmm food for thought.
About spinning off - we could do that. But I think the previous few pages have done a good job of answering the original question, and it's fine with me if the discussion develops organically to explore related issues
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Sarah - INFJ - DYT 4/2 Soapmaker. Sourdough baker. Seed sower. Duck grower. Hungarian speaker. Torah seeker. Keep within me / a stillness / deeper and sweeter / than a forest's / in mid of winter. ~Hebridean Altars |
02-22-2010, 04:31 PM | #48 |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,857
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
I have a “To Train Up A Child” chapter by chapter review on my website which someone might find helpful.
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God Last edited by Hermana Linda; 02-22-2010 at 04:32 PM. Reason: to add link |
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02-22-2010, 05:25 PM | #49 | |
Rose Trellis
...and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip, and bounced upon her knees...
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,712
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
Quote:
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alison wife to papa bear since 12-05 mama to my tubby little cubby 4-19-09 and my snuggly tiny teddy 4-2-11 now expecting a baby bear 7-15-13 |
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02-22-2010, 06:25 PM | #50 | |
Rose Garden
"Be just who you're made to be, Poppa is so mighty pleased with thee." -Danielsons
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: NC
Posts: 6,091
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
Quote:
the ones were enough to convince me that when i have kids, they will be at home with me if we all have to live in a box to make that work anyway, it makes me and and that people suggested that to you. to pinch them under their arms and such! besides all the things we know about GBD and how that pain would have affected those little ones - if you ever got caught, you would have been in a mess of trouble! so glad you chose not to do that! |
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02-22-2010, 06:52 PM | #51 |
Rose Garden
The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unpunctual alien attack!
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,895
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
ITA. I was thinking, the babies wouldn't learn not to engage in undesirable behaviors. They would only learn to be afraid of adults touching them
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Sarah - INFJ - DYT 4/2 Soapmaker. Sourdough baker. Seed sower. Duck grower. Hungarian speaker. Torah seeker. Keep within me / a stillness / deeper and sweeter / than a forest's / in mid of winter. ~Hebridean Altars |
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02-22-2010, 06:55 PM | #52 |
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,829
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
I know, it's awful! I'm glad those ppl were no longer in my life when I had dd. that was totally a God thing.
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02-22-2010, 08:32 PM | #53 |
Rose Blossom
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 259
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
On a big family on-line forum I visited for a while, I found that the blanket solution to anything was: "Treat it as a discipline issue. Expect first time obedience with a happy attitude." This was all "undercover talk" for the Pearls. I mentioned in a thread that my goal for the new year is to parent my children with grace and to extend and model God's grace to them. A mom told me on the forum that I was deceived and that I need to search the Scriptures and follow my husband's lead in disciplining our children (I never mentioned my husband) and a number of moms PM'ed me suggesting TTUAC. I left the forum.
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Mom to 7 super sons and 1 delightful daughter: (Ages 16, 14, 11, 9, 8, 7, 4 and 2) |
02-22-2010, 08:57 PM | #54 |
Rose Bush
Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall rise on wings as eagles.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Sunshine Coast, Australia
Posts: 337
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
I was given this book (TTUAC) by another mum when I first started homeschooling my children. She told me it was a 'homeschoolers bible' I read the first few chapters and they made me sick, and very,very angry. I agree that they messed with my head. I obsessed over it all the time, and even though I knew it was wrong, started to question my decision to Grace base parent. Just as spending time on GCM helps me to be a better Mamma, reading that book made me a worse Mamma. I read a lot of it aloud to my DH and me eldest DD and they both couldn't believe it.
I have had the same experience with parents with large families.....one mother of 7 recently told me that; "the bible doesn't tell us to be 'nice mothers', it really tells us to beat the crap out of our children"...I know she doesn't do that to her children, but it made me wonder if she reads the same bible as me?! I think that sometimes people don't realise that there is another way...they think grace based parenting is permissive parenting, until it is explained to them. That is where we have an opportunity to share with them. I am so grateful for my dear friend who shared this site with me so I could give what I knew was right in my heart, and the way I chose to parent , a name. It also gave me the tools to be able to share with others. I too urge reading with caution and much prayer covering... Renee
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Married to 'Chappy', my best friend, high school sweetheart & the love of my life (23.4.94). Aussie homeschooling mum to 7 blessings here with me. Indie Girl (16), Wildlife Warrior Princess(13), Little Bear (11), Boofhead (8), Smoodgy boy (5), Pickle (4), Angel (2) and 2 waiting for me in heaven.(Bubba Bee- 9 weeks 13/5/98 & Abby Rose - 19 weeks 1/1/06) |
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02-23-2010, 12:28 AM | #55 |
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Posts: n/a
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
~mwah~ to you.
xo |
02-23-2010, 06:06 AM | #56 | |
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 11,787
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
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02-23-2010, 11:59 AM | #57 |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,857
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
Pearl followers typically do not do any discipline in public. This is what I consider red flags: Very soft spoken, gentle parents who never raise their voices. No matter how softly they speak to their child and no matter how busy the child may be, their child will cheerfully respond, "Okay Mommy" and obey immediately. Very young children will sit quietly for hours. They also tend to be crunchy. The lady I knew was breastfeeding and using EC with her toddler.
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
02-23-2010, 01:42 PM | #58 |
Rose Garden
The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unpunctual alien attack!
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,895
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
Whoa! Then how do you distinguish them from GD'ers?
Interesting... the Pearl mama of my acquaintance is also a super crunchy person. She's having a home birth and I think she's planning to homeschool. She's got a DVD on herbalism that she says was made by Pearl's daughter. What kind of relationship do the Pearls have with their children? I thought I read somewhere on GCM that they are estranged from their adult children?
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Sarah - INFJ - DYT 4/2 Soapmaker. Sourdough baker. Seed sower. Duck grower. Hungarian speaker. Torah seeker. Keep within me / a stillness / deeper and sweeter / than a forest's / in mid of winter. ~Hebridean Altars |
02-23-2010, 01:59 PM | #59 |
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I knew u were trouble when u walked in . . . Tribble, Tribble, Tribble
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Downriver Detroit
Posts: 7,201
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
That's the Ezzos.
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02-23-2010, 02:30 PM | #60 |
Rose Garden
The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unpunctual alien attack!
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,895
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Re: What does Pearl actually teach?
The Ezzos are estranged from their adult children? Ok so what ages are the Pearl kids and what kind of relationship do they have from their parents?
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Sarah - INFJ - DYT 4/2 Soapmaker. Sourdough baker. Seed sower. Duck grower. Hungarian speaker. Torah seeker. Keep within me / a stillness / deeper and sweeter / than a forest's / in mid of winter. ~Hebridean Altars |
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