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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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03-30-2006, 05:09 PM | #16 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
I see that you have only 2 posts and I finsd it rather odd that this is one of them I certainly hope that you did not register here for the purpose of defending the Pearls. If you did, you will find that we have very strong boundaries that we are willing to protect with kindness and firmness and this will not be welcome.
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03-30-2006, 05:53 PM | #17 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 25,657
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
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From their website, here is the way to punish your child if they resist your spankings, "When she screams or flees, calmly follow through by physically subduing her. Sit on her, if you have to, and slowly explain that you will not tolerate this resistance. Explain in a normal tone (She will eventually stop screaming and listen) that you are going to give her, say, five licks for the original offense and an additional two licks for the fit. Slowly apply the five licks, counting out loud. When I say slowly, I mean with a thirty second gap between each lick and a calm explanation to the screaming child that you are not the least impressed except that you are going to spank harder and she still gets the additional two licks plus one more for her ongoing screaming. When you have finally arrived at five well- anticipated and carefully counted licks, say, “OK, your spanking is over; that is the five licks you got for hitting your brother, but now I must give you two more for trying to run away.” Give her one lick and say, “Now, that is one of the licks for running away; you have one more coming.” Give the second lick, and then calmly and slowly explain that all her licks are over now, except for the one additional lick she incurred for continuing to scream during the spanking. After you have finished, tell her that you are going to let her up now, if she stops screaming, otherwise you are going to give her one additional lick. If she stops, or at least makes a great effort to, then you have won. You may never have to go through this horrible time again. But, if she is continuing to scream, you have the option of continuing to warn and spank, or of ceasing here with a parting warning: “Next time you better not run and throw a fit; for if you do, you will only get more licks and harder ones.”" This is not the worst I have seen. You should see some of their other ideas, such as how to teach an 18 month old to "come at first call." Pearls teachings ARE abuse.... there is no separation...
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Mommy to: Ds (9.5), Dd (7), Ds2 (6), and Ds3 (4.5). |
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03-30-2006, 09:16 PM | #18 | |
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 34,566
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
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Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19 |
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03-30-2006, 09:21 PM | #19 | |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
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04-05-2006, 12:24 PM | #20 | |
Rose Bouquet
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 529
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
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HS Mama to DS,18,DS,12,DD,8 & DD,6 |
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04-05-2006, 03:22 PM | #21 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
Wow! I never meant to stir up a huge fuss or debate. I aplogize if I have offended anyone in anyway shape or form. I found out from a friend of mine that some social work majors he know are reading "To Train Up a Child" to learn what look for in abused children. It's sad that some people feel that abusing their child is the only form of discpline that there is. Trust me, when I was a teenager, being grounded on the week-ends was enough to straighten me up!! I read where one mom took her teenage daughters hairspray away from her girls.
I once again apologize.Please forgive me... denise |
04-05-2006, 03:56 PM | #22 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 11,773
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
It's OK, sometimes things just don't "read" like we meant them to. Thanks for clarifying!
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04-05-2006, 06:31 PM | #23 | |
Rose Bouquet
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 529
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
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HS Mama to DS,18,DS,12,DD,8 & DD,6 |
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04-05-2006, 06:44 PM | #24 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
I think you'll find we're pretty willing to not take offense at things I know there are good things here and there in their stuff but I've found that the good stuff is so few and far between and better found through better sources
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04-05-2006, 08:49 PM | #25 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 25,657
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
Quote:
I figured you just didnt read their stuff....
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Mommy to: Ds (9.5), Dd (7), Ds2 (6), and Ds3 (4.5). |
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04-05-2006, 09:08 PM | #26 |
Deactivated
A.K.A. joyinthspirit
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: stuck in a labor time warp
Posts: 11,730
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
Forgiven. (we just dont care for the pearls much, can you tell?)
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04-09-2006, 05:53 AM | #27 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 4,153
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
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Judy Living in the USA Married to my best friend Matthew for 14 years, been together almost 20 years! Mom to 3 very energetic and crazy children! Richard (11) Belle (8) David (6) Striving to be a more patient momma to children with emotion regulation problems...aka Bipolar disorder, ADHD, sensory integration dysfunction and ODD |
04-09-2006, 06:35 AM | #28 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Clarksville, TN area
Posts: 6,081
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
The way I see the Pearls is that their regular advice is a form of Child Abuse. What happened with the murder is a result of going even further with the abuse. I just don't get how Christians can following their training advice and I think it is best that we don't follow their other advice either.
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~Julie~ Wife to Ben since 08/03/02, Mama to Daniel~9, Drew~7 & Joshua~3 Blogging Through The Journey |
04-09-2006, 11:20 AM | #29 | |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
Quote:
Jenn |
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04-09-2006, 12:18 PM | #30 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: no greater joy/the Pearls
Have I read the Pearl's stuff? Yes, and in fact I recently reread it. The more I read it, the worse I feel! I just cannot see supporting a group that be so into child abuse. In fact, I'll probably will just cancel my NGJ newsletter once we get moved. I've tried their methods in the past and all it does is cause more problems then I started with.
Take it from me, their methods DO NOT work!!! .The only reason why I even considered using their methods is that Emily wasn't listening and would refuse to cooperate with me or my husband. {We didn;t know that at the time she was 90 % deaf because of her eardrums being blocked! Once that got corrected she was okay ) I suggest that before anyone even considers using the Pearl's methods that they look into alternatives or if there might be a medical reason for their child's problematic behavior. Hope I've cleared up any confusion for ya'll... denise |
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