more rod discussions

Just for clarity... I got the impression that the paragraph part was Henry's writing and the numbered portions were this lady's comments and what SHE was drawing out of his writing. Is that correct?

[greenemama]

yup.

[TulipMama]

Mollie. . . Looks like some of the posts and many of the comments were deleted from the discussion--whether intentionally or not.

I believe that mama is a lot like how many of us once were--taught that spanking is Biblically mandated, or at the least, Biblically wise. Praying that as she does her studying, she daily relies on the Holy Spirit and grace more (which is the same prayer for you and me! )

[greenemama]

yeah -- i find that so annoying. weren't you the mama who posted with a pet peeve about people deleting/editing stuff to make themselves look better?

i think it's really, really bizarro that the thing has turned into a spanking blog!

and i think i agree with you. they are rigid reformed baptists. IME (somewhat limited, but experience nonetheless ) throwing together extremely conservative baptistic convictions and rigid calvinistic teachings that emphazie the T and Pin TULIP over the I, over the rest, is recipe for some very graceless and overall depressing living.

thanks for all of your input. you're a better woman than i. i felt angry so i decided to bow out.

[chelsea]

Mollie. . . Looks like some of the posts and many of the comments were deleted from the discussion--whether intentionally or not.

yeah -- i find that so annoying. weren't you the mama who posted with a pet peeve about people deleting/editing stuff to make themselves look better?

I thought you meant on here so I went to look...I assume you're talking about the other board! BTW, if you ever see any of my posts edited...it's because I caught a grammar flaw too late and "had" to change it because a sentence wasn't making any sense. I grew up with a father who was always correcting my speech and I "can't help it"...I'm a bit OCD in that area. That said, I am always making grammar mistakes (probably due to the unnecessary pressure) and I'm sure there are tons on this post alone. Just wanted to clarify why I personally would edit a post as I didn't see your discussion about it.

[greenemama]

totally, chelsea!

what we're talking about is people who change their blogs or sites to make those posting comments look moronic and themselves better, kwim?

[chelsea]

totally, chelsea!
what we're talking about is people who change their blogs or sites to make those posting comments look moronic and themselves better, kwim?

Gotcha! And that is ridiculous that someone would twist posts around. I'm shocked (yet not surprised) that there are people who actually do that! Apparently they don't want to learn anything new...they just want to knock anyone who thinks differently than they do!

I also thought that he did not condone spanking. :/

[DogwoodMama]

"He" meaning who, Blessedmothers? Dr Sears- No does not condone spanking... not sure about Matthew Henry.

How did I skip over all those pages of posts? LOL, yes I was talking about Dr. Sears.

[cpinokc]

I'm actually reading through The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears right now and here is a quote:

IS THERE A SAFE WAY TO SPANK
By now you should realize that our position on spanking is clear: don't. But we are experienced enough to realize that some loving, nurturing, committed parents believe in spanking as part of their overall discipline package. We are also quite aware that regardless of our advice against spanking, some parents are going to spank their children. For these parents, the best we can hope for is to help them spank in a way that will be less abusive. Consider these suggestions.

Then he goes on to talk about these subtopics: Examine your overall parenting style, Examine your relationship with your child, Determine where spanking fits in your overall discipline package, Don't spank in anger, Do not violate your child, Explain the spank, Ask yourself "Is spanking working?", Examine the time you spend with your child.

I think this book has been so good for me (a born-again lifetime Baptist who was brought up in a spanking household) simply because it has (and still is) really opened my eyes. I think MANY Baptists (from my own observance, especially in my generation) MOSTLY follow the TTUAC or GKGW, etc. methods simply because THEY DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY!!!!!!!!!! They read something that 'backs up' what they've always known and have Scriptures to support it and then they're, for the most part, not open to any other style of parenting. I'm speaking from my own experience here since I'm still struggling with some of my own parenting decisions, but am so much more involved with my kids than I was even 3 months ago (and we're ALL loving it, BTW)!

We were at some friends' house last night and were talking about this (AP in general and spanking). I found myself really defending the 'no spanking' side, but I felt like I was defending their 3 (soon to be 4) children! It was so sad! And the more I talked with them about it, the more I realized that they really do love their children, they just don't know any other ways to discipline!!! (I think the mom was a little interested in learning more though!) I was like that myself just months ago (and will continue to learn 'better' ways until the day I die! ), so in others' defense, like me, it may just take time. If they're not open to bettering their parenting skills, they may never change no matter what we say.

And, hey.....go a little easy on the Baptists, huh!? My dad has preached KJV only my whole life (though I mostly use NIV now!). I understand where they (my dad and most traditional baptist preachers) are coming from with most of their beliefs, but I don't always agree with everything, though I do still attend a Baptist church. There's no 'perfect church' out there, and if you find one and join it, then it won't be perfect anymore, right? Anyway, my point is that most of us were all raised a certain way and that is all we know. I never felt like I was abused or that my parents were 'hitting' me, but I do wish we had a more connected relationship than we did. My 3 brothers and I turned out okay though, as did many other people I know who were raised in a spanking home, so all is not lost! I think people (especially Christian families) just need more exposure and need to be open to it.

Okay, I'm done!

Cindy

[cpinokc]

I wanted to add that Dr. Sears DOES condone and recommend time outs.

[DogwoodMama]

Originally Posted by pruegert

I wanted to add that Dr. Sears DOES condone and recommend time outs.

Well, no one is *perfect*.

[greenemama]

(elizabeth)

and his time-outs, although they are time-outs, are not the shaming time-outs like you'll find elsewhere. they're pretty attached, as far as time-outs can possible be. not condoning it at all, just clarifiying.