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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
A public forum.
Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 05-16-2005, 03:18 PM   #1
motherwqsalways4
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Default Stupid question????

Does this belong here?

What am I to do with my old punitive books?
Toss, burn....
I couldn't imagine sending them to the library or selling them.
I almost sold them as I needed money for my 'new' life but had a moment of clarity on how much damage they have done in my family--how much more could they do in anothers? Same with the library.
So is it wrong to toss or burn?

So ya probably a brain dead rambling!

In Christ
Tabitha

p.s. Where can I get some of the suggested books to add to my bookshelf VERY inexspensively?
I've read many from the library but would like ones on hand for reference and to prayerfully hand out.
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Old 05-16-2005, 03:25 PM   #2
BeckaBlue
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Default Re: Stupid question????

I've kept all mine :/ I figure one day ill get around to burning them. I've been tempted to sell too, esp when im totally broke, but im w/ ya, just can't do it!

i'd suggest checking half.com/ebay
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Old 05-16-2005, 03:28 PM   #3
ArmsOfLove
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Default Re: Stupid question????

some women have found they make great resources when people are asking about them--to make sure you're quoting what the author really says about this or that.

You can try half.com or book resale shops for inexpensive books
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Old 05-16-2005, 03:47 PM   #4
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Default Re: Stupid question????

If you are not interested in keeping them as a resource, maybe offer them up to someone who would be interested. One of the things I discovered after many years of debating Ezzo on a different board, is that many moms mentally edit books like Ezzo. It's too extreme, so they just forget they read it and then they deny Ezzo wrote it. If you can cite them page numbers and quotes, they are forced to reconsider their support of his teachings.

Other than that, I think a burning with much ceremony and celebration is a great idea.

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Old 05-16-2005, 08:04 PM   #5
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Default Re: Stupid question????

Personally, I know that for a long time it was very good for me to NOT have any punitive materials around. They are so insiduous, and would creep into my thinking. I tore up some, and donated others to mamas I knew who wanted them as references and were less likely to be impacted by them.

However, as we've started unpacking our boxes from storage (5 years!) I've found I had quite a LOT of yucky punitive books. You name it, it's probably in a box out in my garage. I think I'll pack them away in one of those boxes, just in case I need them as a reference in the future. But I definitely don't want them on my shelves or to pass them along.

Oh! And I've picked up some books that I put on my wishlist at the Goodwill Bookstore. We've got a Goodwill devoted entirely to books here. *grin* Each of the local libraries also has a little "Friends of the Library" store that has great books and deals from books donated that they don't need for their shelves or discarded books.

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Old 05-16-2005, 08:10 PM   #6
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Default Re: Stupid question????

I tossed my 2 Ezzo and 1 Dobson books, because I dodn't want anyone else to read them.

But then Meli said she wished I'd kept them so she could persue them for reference. TBH, though, it's best for me not to have them in the house at all.
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Old 05-17-2005, 09:45 AM   #7
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Default Re: Stupid question????

"So is it wrong to toss or burn?"

Why just pick one?
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Old 05-17-2005, 01:51 PM   #8
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Default Re: Stupid question????

I personally threw my Ezzo stuff in the recycling bin marked "Mixed Paper"...with the junk mail I wouldn't be comfortable selling them or giving them to charity. Also, when I see that stuff at thrift stores I buy them to toss out.
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Old 05-17-2005, 04:57 PM   #9
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Default Re: Stupid question????

You could write in the margins, pointing out the lies, Scripture twists, etc., and then maybe stick in a tri-fold brochure or two, available at www.ezzo.info/trifoldbrochure.pdf , and then sell them on ebay or half.com as "Some Notes Written Inside." Just an idea.
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Old 05-17-2005, 05:29 PM   #10
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Default Re: Stupid question????

Quote:
Also, when I see that stuff at thrift stores I buy them to toss out.
Me, too. And I tell the cashier about them. "Oh, Babywise is so popular in this area. But it's bad for babies and mothers. Failure to thrive, milk supply lost. I'm buying it so some new mother doesn't have the problems we had. . ." I figure, she may pass along that message to someone who buys a copy I don't. (Or better yet, toss them so I don't have to buy them!)


Quote:
You could write in the margins, pointing out the lies, Scripture twists, etc., and then maybe stick in a tri-fold brochure or two, available at www.ezzo.info/trifoldbrochure.pdf , and then sell them on ebay or half.com as "Some Notes Written Inside."
Hey! Not a bad idea!
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Old 05-18-2005, 07:56 AM   #11
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Default Re: Stupid question????

What books do you have? I might be interested in buying them. I've been "collecting" some of them so that I truly can debate folks on the Internet regarding some of the more punitive stuff. I've bought several used books lately off of ebay and amazon.com marketplace (used books).
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:18 PM   #12
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Default Re: Stupid question????

Well, I chucked my copy of Tripp's "Shepherding a Child's Heart" because I don'thave room for stuff I don't use, and I couldn't in good conscience give it to anyone or sell it.

I also got it removed from the church library--quite easily too. I just asked the woman in charge (a gentle mommy BTW) "Hae you read this? He spanks babies...." and poof!! It was gone.

If you can possible afford it, my vote is chuck it.
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Old 05-18-2005, 10:39 PM   #13
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Default Re: Stupid question????

I kept mine for a while, but then decided to throw them out. It was better for me to not have them in the house. They didn't tempt me so much, as in wanting to follow their program. But their general attitude towards children (us vs. them, especially) would creep in my head, whenever I would remember them. (They were hidden behind other books on the bookshelf.) I finally decided I wasn't really going to debate someone over the books. I'd rather speak the truth and encourage them, than point out the wrong in their "way of parenting", yk? That's just *me* though.
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