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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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02-15-2010, 07:25 AM | #1 | |
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Peace be with you.
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Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
One adopted daughter is dead, another is in critical condition but expected to survive. The parents, who also have another adopted daughter and 6 biological children have been charged with murder and torture, and also according to one article, a lesser count of cruelty has been entered against them because of injuries to their ten-year-old son.
http://www.paradisepost.com/news/ci_14378467 http://www.chicoer.com/news/ci_14371777 http://www.chicoer.com/ci_14388171?source=most_viewed Quote:
God....please teach your people better ways to parent their children! Please help the other children in the family as they go through this terrible ordeal. Please heal them all in body and spirit. |
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The Following User Says Thank You to katiekind For This Useful Post: | newday (02-15-2010) |
02-15-2010, 07:41 AM | #2 |
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Yep. I'm a 3.
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
it literally made my stomach church when I read the follow-up article Of course it's the Pearls...http://www.khsltv.com/content/localn...b2Dx8U_gA.cspx - who apparently have No Greater Joy than to know that babies everywhere are being whipped in their name
I *know* that they don't condone murder, at least not the kind that leaves a 7 year old adopted child in cardiac arrest because she couldn't pronounce "pulled". But what about the murder of the spirit? What about the emotional death so many children experience at the hands of well-intentioned parents? I literally don't have the words to pray... |
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02-15-2010, 07:50 AM | #3 |
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
Sadly, I flat-out called that one when I saw this situation in the In The News forum. The plumbing tubing was a dead giveaway.
Micheal Pearl should be proud. He can officially count 2 deaths of the most vunerable of vunerable to his 'parenting' practices. North Carolina tried to prosecute him for little Shawn's death several years ago. They certainly subpeonaed him and clearly showed he was the main influence in his adoptive mother's discipline tactics. Pearl's parenting is dangerous and abusive for ALL children. But, you take a parent and tell them that they are under Biblical orders to discipline this way...then hand them a child they have NO attachments to, and you write that child's death sentence. With attachment, even abusive parents feel a conviction to stop short of death usually. In older child adoption, attachment is SOOO hard to form. This child is a stranger in your home, yet you are expected to call yourself parent. In the best of situations, its a scary yet thrilling dance to attach with this fully formed person. If you start HITTING them, they WILL retreat and will not attach. And, now you are responsible for a child who sees you not merely as a stranger but a monster. And, you rise to that monster with no small voice inside of you that tells you BACK AWAY FROM THE PLUMBING TUBING. In short, you create RAD, you teach them to fear, to cringe and that response causes you to hit harder because that is precisely the 'heart issues' Pearl tells you to discipline out of them. And, eventually they are simply dead, you have beaten them to death nothing can be done to stop it. Micheal Pearl should face homocide charges for these deaths. He should be locked away and his materials and website should be handled in the same manner is child pornography. It is just as vile and dangerous to children, but especially to adopted children. |
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02-15-2010, 08:25 PM | #4 | |
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
Quote:
What I want to say about those human beings who have promoted these horrid child rearing practices, I cannot in good faith say on a public forum. I don't even know how to pray for this, it makes me so angry... but I will pray nonetheless.
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KG
Blessed wife to BK Loving mama to JW (October 2008) NK (June 2013) and MK (May 2015) Longing to hold my three s in heaven (Feb 2011, June 2011, July 2012) AP'ing, co-sleeping, CLW, no-circ, selectively vaccinating, and learning gentleness in parenting every day! LOVE LETS LIVE Last edited by joyousTXmama; 02-15-2010 at 08:29 PM. |
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The Following User Says Thank You to joyousTXmama For This Useful Post: | afternoonrain (02-18-2010) |
02-15-2010, 07:52 AM | #5 |
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
WHEN LORD? When are these people who condone abuse and do so in your name going to be held accountable? I know that you will hold them accountable for the damage they have done in your name and that is a fearsome thing but I'm still human enough to want some justice done in THIS life for the the children who they have caused to be hurt and the cycle that this perpetuates. I pray for their conviction...both in the meaning of the word that means their becoming aware of the sin they are perpetrating and in the meaning of the word that they are prosecuted in our human courts for their part in these child murders.
Amen |
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02-15-2010, 08:02 AM | #6 |
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
Slight correction, he spelled his name Sean, not Shawn, ftr. And, the Pearls were responsible for his death 4 years ago now.
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02-15-2010, 08:05 AM | #7 |
Rose Garden
livin' life at home and loving it!!!
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
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Holly wifey to my sweet dh SAHM to ... Kyle (17 yrs old) Timmy (10 yrs old) Daniel... (5 yrs old) |
02-15-2010, 08:10 AM | #8 |
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
I posted one of the articles on my facebook... that's just sick... even before when I was punitive I couldn't see hitting children with anything other than my hand... that's just wrong no matter how you view it... plain abusive.
It probably will cause a big debate on my facebook, if it doesn't it will be because some of the people on there will deny that this is the same thing they are doing. |
02-15-2010, 08:11 AM | #9 |
Rose Garden
livin' life at home and loving it!!!
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
I couldn't get the link to work well on my pc.
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Holly wifey to my sweet dh SAHM to ... Kyle (17 yrs old) Timmy (10 yrs old) Daniel... (5 yrs old) |
02-15-2010, 08:27 AM | #10 | |
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Peace be with you.
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
The DA, at the end of the article Wonder Woman linked, talks about even the No Greater Joy people pointing out that there is a line that shouldn't be crossed....
Quote:
Harder thinking needs to be done than platitudes like "you have to watch that you don't cross the line". What do you say about lines defined by a guy whose starting point is weird and crazy to begin with? His followers might not be well-equipped to notice where normal parents would draw the line. In the situation with these girls, one girl died from heart failure and the other girl suffered kidney failure caused by the chemical breakdown of her muscle tissue -- at least that's what one of the articles said. (I am horrified and shuddering at being so specific. I am sorry, mommas.) How would a spanking parent know where those lines are? This is all so grotesque, so inverted from the way of Jesus. |
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02-15-2010, 08:41 AM | #11 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,673
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
The thing is though, if you truely use the wepon the way the Pearls say to, that so called line, isnt really there.. Sure, they would never say murder your child.. But they DO say to spank until the child is "repentant" And initiates healing the relationship. If they don't do that, or they continue to cry, you are supposed to continue to spank... How is that not advocating things like this??????
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02-15-2010, 08:42 AM | #12 |
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
Just read that the three adopted children were from Liberia...and thought of our moms here that have beautiful Liberian children. Somehow that makes it so much more "personal" to me today. Those poor little ones.
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02-15-2010, 08:58 AM | #13 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,507
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
I just scanned this thread....don't have the emotional strength to read through all of it right now...
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02-15-2010, 11:31 AM | #14 | |
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I am no man!
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
Quote:
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02-15-2010, 11:53 AM | #15 |
Rose Garden
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Re: Another adopted child...parents followed Pearl methods
When you get into this creepy concept of "defiance" or whatever it is these parenting methods claim to be responding to, you also get into situations, where, if a parent should realize they are wrong partway into "correcting" a child, they have to continue because the parenting methods don't allow them to take any input from the child as evidence they were wrong. Even reasoning from the child is to be taken as evidence the defiance is still there so nothing can stop the cycle unless the child can somehow fake repentance.
I can just imagine this child may have even tried to fake repentance at some point, but there was just no way to follow up with a correct pronunciation if she COULDN'T and the parents wouldn't take any amount of endurance on her part as evidence she couldn't from the beginning lest she "win".
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DS (12), DD (10), DD2 (7) And my kids were going to behave perfectly all the time and if they didn't, they'd be Dobsoned, but I was going to Dobson so perfectly that they'd know not to slip up but once or twice because I was going to be sooooooo consistent and awesome and wise. Last edited by ThreeKids; 02-15-2010 at 11:58 AM. |
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