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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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10-06-2005, 07:30 PM | #1 | |
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Newbie comment about Pearls
I know the Pearls have been discussed over and over on this board so please be patient with me as I have recently been discovering all of this stuff!
My journey started when my sister gave me a book she was RAVING over called Created to be His Helpmeet. I didn't know much about the Pearls except I know my parents had a copy of TTUAC but I had never read it. So as I was reading Created tons of red flags started popping up and I grew very concerned, especially since she had bought the book to give as a newlywed gift to a friend. To me there were tons of inconsistencies, misapplied Scripture, etc. etc. This drove me to do a search online where I found Keer's review and Sparrow's and Spunky's, all of which seemed excellent. But it made me wonder about the Pearls more and so in my research I was led to study discipline and ultimately, here. Deep down I always knew I wanted to raise my children diffently than most conservative Christian families do and there was always something not-quite-right with the spanking methods and punitive methods both that I had received and that I read about but I didn't know any alternative. Thats why I am glad I found this place and heard about GBD! In the course of my research I found this yesterday: Quote:
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10-06-2005, 07:32 PM | #2 |
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Yep. I'm a 3.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 19,140
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
to you!
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10-06-2005, 07:34 PM | #3 |
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 38,127
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
Glad you're here, and for you on your parenting journey.
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10-06-2005, 07:36 PM | #4 |
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
Thank you ladies so much!
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10-06-2005, 07:44 PM | #5 |
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 34,561
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
__________________
Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19 |
10-06-2005, 08:34 PM | #6 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 4,003
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
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10-06-2005, 08:37 PM | #7 |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
Posts: 52,860
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
It can be really hard if family and/or friends openly criticize your parenting. Over time, though, they'll see what develops in your family and hopefully, they'll have the honesty and humility to acknowledge it. I look forward to getting to know you more! |
10-06-2005, 09:13 PM | #8 | ||
Rose Bouquet
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 598
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
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Does he think he is God???????? Why should I listen to *him* instead of what the Bible teaches??????????
__________________
Rebekah wife to my highschool sweetheart 1996 mama to Timothy 2003 *God's blessing of Mercy* Alana 2005 *God's blessing of Grace* Matthew 2008 *God's blessing of Joy* David 2010 *God's blessing of Love* Elysha 2012 *God's blessing of Faith* Caleb 2014 *God's blessing of Peace* Olivia 2016*God's blessing of Kindness* And Benjamin 2020 *God's blessing of Patience* |
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10-07-2005, 06:59 AM | #9 | |
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Peace be with you.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: the sweet sunny south
Posts: 15,346
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
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And he doesn't really know which part of his family life contributed to these qualities in his children (if indeed he can claim credit) -- the Pearls emphasize some very GOOD things with which we would all agree: perhaps the children benefited from the fun times of relationship building they all had together, the supportive inter-relationships of a large family, or the groundwork laid by breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Perhaps their parents were gifted teachers of bible stories which the children took to heart. Too often people (of all parenting stripes) generalize from a certain personal outcome without realizing that their lives and their children's lives aren't science experiments. They haven't isolated all the variables. They can't repeat the experiment with one variable changed. For example, Pearl can't tell us how much "freedom of soul and conscience" his children had with the same upbringing minus the behavioristic whippings. And lastly, and I say this gently, as the parent of grown kids, knowing Michael Pearl is also the parent of grown kids: we have wonderful children--he does, I'm sure--and so do I. But without even knowing his children I can know this about them: they are not perfect. They hurt. They make mistakes. They struggle. They are prideful and overly simplistic at times; and crippled by shame and hesitancy at others. Yes--they are beautiful examples of human beings, his children (I assume), and mine (I know.) But they are not perfect. If they were, they would not be human. If it were possible to raise children to perfection, then God would have sent a parenting method, not Jesus. Our marching orders are not to raise our children by a method to be like Michael Pearl's children. Our marching orders are to be Christians to and with our children. Ooops--Sorry, I'll get off my soapbox now. |
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10-07-2005, 07:50 AM | #10 |
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,501
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
Kathy, that's beautiful.
Just wanted to add that when I read that quote by MP, I had to start laughing. How utterly ridiculous. It is good that you know you wouldn't waste a second of your time on him, if it weren't for the unfortunate fact that your family feels that way too. BTW, I thought the Pearls were against co sleeping? |
10-07-2005, 08:10 AM | #11 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 27,359
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
That is a horrendous comment by Michael Pearl. I never heard of him until I started posting here. Anyway, it is an uphill battle to do GBD in our society. Hang in there, and you never know whom else you might influence.
__________________
Erin born of water and of the Spirit 4/96 married 5/02 Mama to: 2004 2007 2010 2012 2017 2019 Jan 2, 2024 And many I hope to hold in heaven one day |
10-07-2005, 09:05 AM | #12 | |
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
Excellent post, katie. I particularly liked this line.
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10-07-2005, 09:36 AM | #13 | |
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Peace be with you.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: the sweet sunny south
Posts: 15,346
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
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10-07-2005, 03:12 PM | #14 | |
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,796
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
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10-08-2005, 07:44 AM | #15 | ||
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Yeah, it's winter here ...
Join Date: May 2005
Location: *Wis*consin
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Re: Newbie comment about Pearls
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