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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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01-15-2011, 08:42 PM | #31 | |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 2,797
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
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01-15-2011, 08:47 PM | #32 |
Rose Garden
Standing for gentleness and honesty
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Looking for Hope
Posts: 12,027
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
BBL
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Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness
Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A |
01-16-2011, 05:21 AM | #33 | |
Deactivated
Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 54,024
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
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I know people will disagree with me on this. Thing is, dh & I started our marriage & parenting journey planning to spank a la Dobson style so for me to just change the plan isn't really fair to him. He's coming along and he very rarely threatens now b/c he has seen that positive, gentle, GOYB works. |
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01-16-2011, 02:01 PM | #34 |
Rose Garden
Standing for gentleness and honesty
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Looking for Hope
Posts: 12,027
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
There is a a difference when he is trying go GD too, and spanking isn't his first go-to tool.
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Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness
Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A |
01-16-2011, 02:08 PM | #35 |
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Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 54,024
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
most definitely. When I first started being more gentle I *did* nearly all discipline b/c it was a much earlier step in his toolbox. Now I only rarely have to step in.
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01-16-2011, 08:46 PM | #36 | |
Rose Garden
Taking one day at a time...
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Far from home...
Posts: 4,129
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
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I explain to her why kids are crying etc, and "keep it real" as much as I can, and I do believe this has helped her become a more sensitive girl in general. I see the benefits to GBD all the time, and DD is only 2.5.
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My girls dd '08, and dd '12 Married to my best friend '03 Love to and to DH In case you're wondering...I'm an ENFJ
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01-16-2011, 10:00 PM | #37 |
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Peace be with you.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: the sweet sunny south
Posts: 15,346
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
Wow, my experience is that strong-willed children sometimes ARE the ones that only need to be looked at (or told, as my dad used to say to me, "I'm so disappointed by your behavior.")
My oldest son was strong-willed (still is) but also generally liked to please us, and when it was pointed out to him that such-and-such was wrong, etc, he really took it to heart. |
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01-16-2011, 10:12 PM | #38 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 10,090
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
Thank you for all of the posts on dealing with "strong willed" kids. I was one and it looks like my daughter is one as well. I don't mind, if she is, but my mom is full of dire warnings about how I will have to battle her every day of our lives. I keep thinking, you and I were at war my entire child hood and you still think I should fight my daughter because...? It is so encouraging to hear real stories that don't involve someone losing.
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Rita s IstJ Wife to my brilliant geek James iNtJ since 4/08 Mom to our angel boy Jay 5/08 our quirky miracle DD Ivy 6/10 mellow miracle DS Jacob 7/15 Often Please forgive my frequent typos Standing firmly on Team Lioness!!! Roar!!! I am ready for people to know I am a GCM find me on Facebook |
01-16-2011, 10:21 PM | #39 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 23,483
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
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Homeschooling mama to five: a young adult (graduated!), two high schoolers, a big kid, and a kindergartner And yes, they've all aged overnight since the last time you read my out-of-date sigg. |
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01-17-2011, 01:10 AM | #40 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nyssa, Oregon (southeastern part of the state)
Posts: 6,020
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
to all
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wife for 40 years to dear hubby-pastor and retired Navy chaplain mom to DS & DD (Amber) now grown, to Dixie Lee, a 3 yr old French Brittany, Magnolia (Maggie), 4 month old French Brittany and gramma to 4 wonderful grandBOYS and 1 foster granddaughter |
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01-17-2011, 09:13 AM | #41 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Eastern CA
Posts: 9,119
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
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~Emily INTJ, Type 4 Wife to D Mama to: E 12/05 L 7/08 Z 12/10 A 6/14 and J in heaven 2/10 Torah Keeping, Unschooling Family My blog on unschooling and family life: Peace On Dark Nights. |
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01-22-2011, 01:49 PM | #42 |
Rose Trellis
Go Team Lioness!
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: This side of the black stump
Posts: 2,428
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
I'm another one who doesn't like the terms strong-willed and compliant. We see what we're expecting to see. If someone met my DS at the park early in the morning, they'd say he was compliant. If they saw him when he was focused o something and not paying attention to me - he must be strong-willed. Then from that time on, they'll view further behaviour through those lenses - either viewing individual episodes of compliance or refusal as an aberration, depending on the label they've assigned.
I prefer to think of him as a 3.5yo and enjoy the good bits when I get them
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Our blossoms: DS "Little Bear" Apr '07 - The negotiator
DD "Miss Muffett" Nov '08 "Don't tell Daddy..." DS "Mouse" Jan '12 "I Soup Baby, Man of steel! " Myth Busting over at Dare to Disciple "Believe in yourself. Trust your instincts. Unless your instincts are terrible." Vitruvius, The LEGO Movie. |
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01-22-2011, 11:55 PM | #43 | |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
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01-23-2011, 02:42 AM | #44 | |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Cardiff, Wales, UK
Posts: 1,192
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
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01-23-2011, 06:42 AM | #45 |
Rose Garden
Dinosaurs are people too
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,981
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Re: Strong-Willed Children Vs. Gentle Discipline
Loving this discussion. Could somebody go back twenty five years or so and have this talk with my parents?
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Melinda, INTJ Married to Mr since 12/06 ENTP Mama to all the babies, 1/09 ISTJ and 11/11 ExxP and 5/14 ExxP and NEW ONE 8/16 |
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