Sean Paddock's Autopsy / Mandy Locke Article

[klpmommy]

That was me with my first toddler. *tears* And at the time, I would have thought crib tents were for "lazy" parents.

I'm sorry... that mindset has always really made me . It's it lazier to spank them and not think about creative ways to solve the problem without it?

Just goes to show what a good salesman people like Ezzo are- convince parents that it is lazy to be creative & right to do what is in reality lazy & unthinking. ((((HUGS)))) Tulipmama.

This whole thing truly makes my heart heavy.

I'm so glad you found a better way to parent TulipMama and all the other ex-punitive mamas here. God has really shown you His grace.

I pray that the same happens for this poor confused, mislead, abusive mother. It makes me so sad.

They don't understand how social workers could take a child from his parents' home -- which had shoddy heat and little food -- only to put him in a stranger's home where he was beaten.

Wouldn't it have made more sense to get the family set up with food stamps and some assistance getting the heat working better???

Wouldn't it have made more sense to get the family set up with food stamps and some assistance getting the heat working better???

Ummmm... there's usually more going on than the birth parents would ever admit to. The plan where we are is reunification... a lot has to happen to loose their kids and generally, the birth parents don't blame themselves if it goes that far (that's usually part of the problem, they won't accept responsiblility for not taking care of their kids).

I just feel so bad for the little guy. I had a very spirited boy, and I always knew in the wrong hands someone would really hurt him.

Originally Posted by Mama Calidad

Wouldn't it have made more sense to get the family set up with food stamps and some assistance getting the heat working better???

I see where you are coming from here.......but really it takes a lot more then shoddy heat and little food to get a child removed from the home. I guess, It is "good" journalism to make the comparison though. It is a dramatic thought........

In another article I read, it said that the father of the Ford children was taken to jail for abusing the daughter, and the kids were taken from the mom after she refused to leave her husband.
Doesn't make sense to me. As this is exactly what the Pearls advocate (staying with the husband even if there is abuse going on). It seems they got shuffled from one bad situation into another.
Truly breaks my heart.
Tulipmama, where did you get that quote about the baby climbing out of the crib?

In January 2005, Sean returned from his first visit with the Paddocks with bruises on his backside. Social workers determined that the child must have fallen off a bunk bed, just as Paddock said.

They beat him the first time he visited them? That poor baby

But it never occurred to her to do anything other than spank.

This is how punishing actually handicaps us as parents instead of empowering us--especially the one-response-to-everything brand of punishing promoted by Ezzo, Pearl, Tripp, and Dobson.

I've been there, too. When I dropped spanking, I felt so stumped... so powerless... so bewildered.. so I started punishing in different ways. Then I tried to stop punishing and found I was using "gentle" tools with the same punitive goal in mind. I am reading Clay Clarkson's Heartfelt Discipline right now, and am so moved by his discussion of parenting by the Spirit's leading instead of by a formula--ANY formula.

(((( TulipMama )))) God's grace is utterly amazing, isn't it? I am inspired by all of our stories to think that He can change, heal, and redirect other families just as He has done with ours.

[UltraMother]

[Embracing Grace]

My heart hurts so much for that little boy. He is with Jesus now, where he will never be hurt again....

[hey mommy]

Okay, he's the same age/size as my ds and I couldn't imagine wrapping him up like that! That poor little guy... At least he's in a better place and doesn't have to deal w/them anymore.

[Close2MyHeart]

God bottles our tears, just as He bottled Sean's.

[Epieikeia]

Wouldn't it have made more sense to get the family set up with food stamps and some assistance getting the heat working better???

Ummmm... there's usually more going on than the birth parents would ever admit to. The plan where we are is reunification... a lot has to happen to loose their kids and generally, the birth parents don't blame themselves if it goes that far (that's usually part of the problem, they won't accept responsiblility for not taking care of their kids).

I agree...there usually is more, but not always abuse (ie physical/ect). Without knowing the birth family I would be hard pressed to critize them without full knowledge of what transpired.

Also HHS differs from state to state in how they handle things. IMO the fact they were "aware" that the little boy had bruises on his back and did not investigate further is incredibily sad. I highly doubt there was only the one incident.....when spanking is your only tool in the tool box, you are limited on your resources to "discipline."

It not fair to assume that the foster /adoptive parents are always doing the best for the child....like anything else there are always good and bad foster parents. I know of foster families here in NE who spank their bio kids and say they don't touch their foster kids. Such inconsistency is very hard to live with successfully though and I think parents who do that run a thin line.

Obviously something was missed, something was done wrong and now a boy is dead----there is no rectifying death. I simply can't believe that this boy died without any markers......the state missed something, of that I have no doubt.

I read the DSS case notes and all the articles a few weeks ago. There was substantiated abuse by the birth father and the birth mother wouldn't leave him. The foster placement was for their safety and it is just a good example that sometimes the foster care system fails too...

I blogged this... my blog is new and slow traffic, but it is one more out there talking about the harm of the Pearls... http://blog.myspace.com/ljmoody

Tulip Mama... I can identify with you
I am so thankful God has shown us both a better way.