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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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02-11-2006, 06:55 PM | #61 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,895
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
Welcome!
__________________
INFJ/INTJ DYT 4 Wife to Alan, Mama to Abby 3/05, Ella 2/08, and Julianna 10/10 “Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.” Leo Buscaglia |
02-11-2006, 06:55 PM | #62 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,895
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
Welcome!
__________________
INFJ/INTJ DYT 4 Wife to Alan, Mama to Abby 3/05, Ella 2/08, and Julianna 10/10 “Only the weak are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong.” Leo Buscaglia |
02-12-2006, 05:16 PM | #63 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
Welcome!
How lovely to read your posts and see you thinking deeply about your relationship with your children. Just wondering...where does your husband stand? Was he really into the Pearl's also... is he open to GBD? I don't post often, but have found this board to be a real blessin in my family's life. ( we come from an Ezzo background...ironically a number of people I know who have gone away from the Ezzo stuff have embraced the Pearl's...I looked at the NGJ site...read an article about blanket training ...went and never went back!) |
02-12-2006, 05:44 PM | #64 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
My husband and I agree that the Pearls have a lot of poor advice. My husband was actually "done" with the Pearls for a quite some time now. He was relieved when I finally let go of the Pearls. He wants to raise our children in love and so do I.
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02-12-2006, 06:26 PM | #65 |
Deactivated
A.K.A. joyinthspirit
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: stuck in a labor time warp
Posts: 11,730
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
I would recommend to you Crystal's book. You can order it from her website and also a workbook. Im glad your here!
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02-12-2006, 08:39 PM | #66 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
From what I am finding here, I need to get that book! |
02-12-2006, 09:39 PM | #67 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,447
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
I'm finding your posts so encouraging to read!
And your husband sounds like a keeper!
__________________
In Korea, the Land of the Morning Calm<br />Co-moderator of the Bible Study Forum <br />ds1 July/04<br />ds2 Oct/06 |
02-13-2006, 02:51 AM | #68 |
Deactivated
love
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 23,071
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
So happy for you and your family!
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02-13-2006, 07:13 AM | #69 | ||
Rose Trellis
Join Date: May 2005
Location: California
Posts: 2,799
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Re: How can I make the switch from the Pearls to GCM?
Quote:
I think its great that you 'allowed' your child to cry and be sad. He needs to be allowed to cry and feel his feelings. Getting upset with him about him showing you his feelings has long-term consequences. You don't really want him to hide his true feelings from you do you? Especially later on when they are teenagers. I think its great that you have made such great progress in being gentle over this. Quote:
Also, as someone mentioned earlier, be aware that by changing your parenting, he may be confused and will test the boundries (a lot)- because the previous way you have dealt with him has been fear-driven. Once he knows he doesn't have to fear you, he may test more, but don't get discouraged - keep up the boundries in a loving, but matter-of-fact way. Show him you are unchanging in your boundries and that you won't be swayed by him showing his emotions. Don't be afraid to let them cry and feel upset when you require compliance. Don't get upset at their emotions, but hug them and love them while still being unchanging in your boundries. Its a hard thing to change your thinking of children's outbursts of emotions as a 'bad' behavior. When we (as adults) cry out to God and get upset when things don't go our way, God doesn't punish us for our feelings. He wrapes His arms around us. Know that what you are doing now is creating a better relationship in the future, as well as leading them to Christ. |
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