Best Practices for Family Friendly Church?

[Whirlwind]

I think this is in the right place?

Imagine the best child friendly church you can dream of and describe it. What would make you feel really safe and eager to bring your kids there. Alternatively, what might scare you off from taking kids or going at all? I'm thinking less about theology and more about concrete, environmental things I think.

For example, I think it'd be great to have a nursing moms room that can still hear/see the sermon. Even better if there is a sign on the door (where everyone can see) that says that room is available for moms' convenience but that breastfeeding is welcomed everywhere in church.

It's fun to dream, but more importantly, I thought that thinking and sharing ideas might be helpful if and when we find ourselves in positions to improve things. I hear so many in other threads who are sometimes disappointed with how things are in their current worship places.

[flowermama]

I'd love it if it would be clear that breastfeeding is welcomed everywhere in church. That would be wonderful.

Also I love it when children are welcome in the service and not expected to sit completely still and where they are welcome to make little noises.

Something that I find to be heartbreaking in a church is when children are expected to sit completely still in church, not make noises, and are spanked when they don't comply.

I love it when churches have little quiet activity bags for children to use during the service.

One church we visited had a basket of soft toys that you could choose from for your little one to bring into the service with them. I thought that was a neat idea.

And I think it's so neat when churches have a time during the service when children can go forward and sit near the pastor while he gives a short children's sermon.

Our church has papers set out each week for the children -- one for young and one for older children. And on them they have the order of the service listed and a couple words that the pastor is going to be saying a lot in his sermon, and there is a place where they can mark off (or color a shape) each time they hear him speak that word. The younger children's paper has a place for them to draw a picture of something that has to do with the pastor's sermon. And there are questions that you can discuss after church with your children if you want. I really love how our church does that.

I might come back more with later, but those are some thoughts I had right now!

[Whirlwind]

Those are GREAT suggestions! Exactly what I was looking for.

I agree that I like it when children and their little noises are welcome in the service. How would you communicate that to visitors? And members I guess? An announcement at the start of the service? Or a note in the bulletin? Or maybe a sign over the basket of toys that you mentioned?

[sweetpeas]

If it were up to me, we'd home church, not only for myself, but also for my older girls, who would get MUCH more out of something interactive.

BUT . . . one of the best "mother's room" set-ups I've found is at my parents' church. There's a room for nursing mothers with a sofa, and a couple glider rockers and (the part I really love), there's a bathroom, with stocked changing area attached (the one thing I would do different is have that bathroom ALSO have a door to the hallway, so when dads want to change diapers they don't have to walk through the nursing mother area, didn't bother me, but I know the time or two a dad came through he seemed embarrassed to have to come through "our" space). The whole front of the nursing mothers room is one-way glass into the sanctuary, and the sound system pipes into the room (with volume, so you can turn it down if you need it quieter)so you can see and hear the service from in there (dh, Lina and I actually chose to sit in there for my grandfather's memorial service, that way Lina (a toddler) could play with toys without bothering anyone and I could more easily focus on the service instead of putting all my attention to keeping her quiet). Next door is another room, I don't remember what it's called, but it has pews like the church, and clear glass to see into the sanctuary (and the sound system piped in). There's a sign on the door that nicely says this room is for helping your children learn to sit in church, not for wild play (it says it nicely, but that's what it means). So it's a great way to take toddlers and work with them on sitting quietly without having to worry if they don't get it right away.

Another thing my parents' church does that I like is, when they have communion and foot washing (once a quarter, I don't know how many denominations do that, so may be a non-issue for most?) they have storytime for the children during the foot washing. The children CAN go with their parents if they'd rather, but if they want, they can go listen to a story instead.

[Hannah Elise]

Oooh.. I really like the idea of a sign saying the Rio. Is there for their convenience, but breastfeeding is welcome in all areas of the church. We are (supposedly) getting a nursing mothers' room as part of the reworking/renovation of certain. Spaces over the next month.... mayhaps I shall have to make this suggestion. I'm not sure we have any sort of church policy but I have nursed in the sanctuary since we started going there when ds2 was three months old. I don't now, only because he is soooooo distractable that I -will- end up flashing someone when he whips off. I'm not afraid of offending anyone, I'm just not comfortable with it.

Well, actually.. ds2 hasn't nursed in... almost a week. So. It may be a moot point now. ~

[silverlining]

Originally Posted by Whirlwind

Those are GREAT suggestions! Exactly what I was looking for.

I agree that I like it when children and their little noises are welcome in the service. How would you communicate that to visitors? And members I guess? An announcement at the start of the service? Or a note in the bulletin? Or maybe a sign over the basket of toys that you mentioned?

Our church has a notice in the bulletin stating children are welcome and then listing the options (nursery, children's church, or stay with parents). If a little one does begin making noise, the pastor will often say something about how he hopes the parents aren't embarrassed because he loves having a baby/child there. We don't have a cry room/nursing room, but the service is piped into the nursery, and parents are welcome to be in there with their child if they want to be. I'd love to hear more suggestions for how to make the church more friendly towards nursing mothers; I think that's one thing we're not very good at.

[twoplustwo]

Our bulletin says something to the effect of children are welcome in service, but there is a nursery available if you feel like you want to use it.

As for noises & stuff, you tell its ok by the other little kid noises already happening.

There are little bags, plus 2 different children's bulletins (by age) & crayons.

We also have the Children's message where the kids go up front to hear their message.

It was also mentioned in the Discover our church class how much children are welcome. Not just the noise but the pastor gives a funny story about a little one that drew all over the chair with crayon.

There is also a cry room at the back of the church with rockers & toys where you can see & hear the service.

[OnAMission]

I would like to either have a place where mom or dad and toddler can listen to the sermon while toddler plays (a lot of places we have been the cry/nursing room is mothers only), or have enough vetted volunteers to allow parents in the nursery. At our last church, as long as there were two official nursery workers in the room, then parents were welcome to stay with their child. I really appreciated that.

[Singingmom]

Such nice ideas.

Our nursing mothers' room has a rotating volunteer/member/mom who stays in the area to serve the nursing moms. She offers water bottles, holds babies while moms use the bathroom, and I forget what else.

[charla]

I love all of these ideas. I firmly believe that children should be welcomed in the church and in its services.

I'd also love to see children remain involved in the church as they grow up into older children and teens. I'm not sure what that looks like.

[Whirlwind]

These have all been great ideas. I think I may share them at church next week.

One more question . . . For those who use (or would like to use) a nursery or children's program, what would make you feel safe/comfortable leaving your kids there?

For me, I would really appreciate a policy that all toys are cleaned every week after the kids leave. I also like secure check in procedures. Any ideas?