Book recommendation for anger in a preschooler

[Kaela Parakaleo]

I think that this is the right forum to post this question.

I have a friend whose 4 year old has had angry outbursts for years.

They are going to a therapist but I thought that I'd ask here to see if there is a good book that addresses this issue in such a young child.

I found this book on Amazon but the reviews don't reveal much about what the author proposes: http://smile.amazon.com/Heart-Anger-...=UTF8&sr=&qid=

Has anyone ever read that one?

Thanks in advance.

[lucie]

"The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene has good tips. It's reassuring that there isn't anything "wrong" with the child--he just needs tools and skills to deal with being inflexible (which usually results in the angry outbursts).



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[Beauty4Ashes]

If I remember correctly, Lou Priolo is very harsh as far as discipline goes. I am judging based on the other book recommendations, Ted Tripp. I could be mistaken, but isn't John MacArthur the pastor of Ezzo's church.

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[Kaela Parakaleo]

Originally Posted by lucie

"The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene has good tips. It's reassuring that there isn't anything "wrong" with the child--he just needs tools and skills to deal with being inflexible (which usually results in the angry outbursts).

OH! She is reading that one right now! I couldn't remember the name of it when I was posting. Glad to hear that another GCM likes it.

---------- Post added at 07:19 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:17 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Beauty4Ashes

If I remember correctly, Lou Priolo is very harsh as far as discipline goes. I am judging based on the other book recommendations, Ted Tripp. I could be mistaken, but isn't John MacArthur the pastor of Ezzo's church.

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I have no idea.

[sunflowermom]

Are you looking just for ideas for the adults to read or are you also thinking of books to read with the child? Sitting down and reading some books on emotions may be helpful for the preschooler as well.
I once worked in a school situation where we made our own "social stories" to read with students giving real life examples of situations and examples of appropriate ways to respond.
VERY Simplified version:
"Sometimes Mrs. X is sick. If she is sick, she will stay home from school. She will call a substitute teacher to come in for her. The substitute teacher is not Mrs. X, but I can learn anyways. It is ok to be sad or upset, but I will still do my best to learn and reach xyz goal."

They basically help model internal dialogue or put thoughts into words. They were helpful to some of our students, even if it seems silly to you and maybe even to them at first.

If you look up "social stories" online you may be able to find some examples. It's been several years since I've looked any up. Also, I have no recommendations for adult books at the moment. All the books I've read on the subject were before I became a parent and before my ideas on parenting have molded into what they are now, so even if I used to think a book was good, I'm still wary of my previous self's opinions, hehe.

[Soliloquy]

While not specifically about anger, a book that my kids really enjoyed and found helpful was Have You Filled a Bucket Today? It can be a springboard for talking about how, when we feel badly, we act badly. Anger, in itself, isn't the problem, it's what we do with that anger. And, helping our children (and ourselves) to identify the feelings that, if unaddressed, lead to anger.

[Kaela Parakaleo]

Originally Posted by LisaM

While not specifically about anger, a book that my kids really enjoyed and found helpful was Have You Filled a Bucket Today? It can be a springboard for talking about how, when we feel badly, we act badly. Anger, in itself, isn't the problem, it's what we do with that anger. And, helping our children (and ourselves) to identify the feelings that, if unaddressed, lead to anger.

Thanks, Lisa! My library has it and I've requested it. I'll check it out!

[Beth1231]

How To Really Love Your Angry Child

[ThreeKids]

I'd also be careful to not over-label outbursts as angry. Sometimes it's frustration, which isn't the same, but repeatedly calling it anger can cause a child to understand it only through that lens.

[Soliloquy]

unaddressed frustration can result in anger but they're different.

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[lucie]

That's a good point. I noticed with Anna too, that the underlying emotion for the explosion isn't always the same.


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[Soliloquy]

It's something I only learned in the past few years. I'll have had an awesome but long day with the kids. I'm making dinner and they're all in the kitchen making a normal amount of noise for 4 kids. But I am DONE. I need some quiet. I can ignore that, tell myself I'm being unreasonable, and wind up snapping at them for normal kid stuff. Or, when I feel myself starting to simmer, I can tell them I need thirty minutes to myself and they either need to go upstairs or outside until dinner. Then I'm a little refreshed and ready to do dinner & bedtime.

Identifying the simmer before the pot boils over and someone gets burned. I learned that analogy from Joysworld.

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[On Fire]

All the best for Jan 2016

[Aerynne]

A lot of child anger (and to some extent adult anger, too) is actually anxiety. I would look into that for sure! I heard somewhere that anger is not a primary emotion- it's always a secondary emotion, so to figure it out you have to figure out what the primary emotion was that triggered the anger.

For kids I like "the Feelings book". It's not super detailed. I don't remember the author but it's very colorful- like some of the people have green faces, blue faces, etc.