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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Old 02-22-2017, 01:18 PM   #15
forty-two
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Default Re: Need Sheepherding a Child's Heart rebuttals ASAP!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aerynne View Post
I think this has to be regional. The first place (and I think only place) I ever heard of it was here and I don't know a single person IRL who does it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by daina View Post
I've basically faced and met people in leadership in every church I've been to who kind of hold this view.
I'm like Aerynne - I've only heard of the more extreme punitive views online and never IRL. I wonder if, instead of being a regional thing, it's more of the theological thing: that some traditions are theologically/historically more likely to fall into punitive thinking at certain times and in certain places than others .

I know that my tradition (Lutheran) is more likely to fall into antinomianism and Gospel reductionism than other Christian traditions - our beliefs and practices are currently weak in those areas for a lot of reasons, and so those are some of our "besetting sins", our characteristic heresies. But punitive parenting hasn't really made inroads into our congregations - the hard-core punitive parenting stuff contradicts our core theology in ways that pastors notice and reject. But other nasty things slide under the radar because of their surface similarity with our theology, or how they reject the same things we reject - and a *lot* of our churches are infiltrated with them . Other traditions are going to have different core emphases, and punitive parenting is similar enough to some traditions' core theology that it can make serious inroads in those churches. Since you are seeing it everywhere you go, it sounds like your tradition might be one of those.

Fighting your tradition's besetting sins, fighting your tradition's characteristic heresies - it's absolutely hard work . It's a lot easier to fight your tradition's characteristic *outside* enemies - that involves the (kinda fun ) work of pointing out other people's blind spots; it's a lot harder to learn to see your *own* blind spots. But it's *necessary* work - learning to better see other people's blind spots on its own can be too much like pointing out the speck in your brother's eye; learning to see your own is removing the plank from your own eye. Two things that have helped me:

*Reading old books, seeing how my tradition fought off these heresies in the past, as well as getting a fresh perspective on our beliefs, one free of our current blinders. As C.S. Lewis said, on reading old books:
Quote:
Every age has its own outlook. It is especially good at seeing certain truths and specially liable to make certain mistakes. We all, therefore, need the books that will correct the characteristic mistakes of our own period. And that means the old books…. Not, of course, that there is any magic about the past. People were no cleverer then than they are now; they made as many mistakes as we. But not the same mistakes. They will not flatter us in the errors we are already committing; and their own errors, being now open and palpable, will not endanger us. Two heads are better than one, not because either is infallible, but because they are unlikely to go wrong in the same direction. To be sure, the books of the future would be just as good a corrective as the books of the past, but unfortunately we cannot get at them.
*Finding contemporary pastors and theologians that are also fighting these besetting sins and characteristic heresies from *within* my tradition right now. It reinforces that I'm not alone, and they are a good source of support and resources.

and
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~ forty-two ~
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