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08-11-2005, 01:40 AM | #16 |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
I had pets all my life as a child- cats, dogs, rabbits, horses, chickens, etc... As an adult though I have lived in apts where we couldn't have any, until now. We just got a kitten about a week ago. After watching my parents cats with my kids and their attitudes (they aren't used to having kids around and are like intolerant old fart mean cats), I decided that we'd rather get a kitten with the hopes that the cat and the kids will grow together, and accept one another. I am also a firm believer that once you get a pet they become a part of your family. I don't want to take in a pet that we won't be able to handle and keep passing it from one family to another. DH wanted to get a dog rather than a cat. But I also believe (OK not everyone will agree with me) that certain breeds are more dependable around kids than others. I would want a Golden Retriever because I love their disposition, but DH wants breeds that I am not ok with having around my young children. Plus, I don't have time and energy to keep up with a puppy right now. So given the needs of the cat vs. the needs of a dog, we went for the cat. You would think we got the cat just for DH He comes home from work and asks where is his cat? It's so sweet to watch the 15 month old baby just sit and watch the kitty in its bed. We are having to watch carefully with both the baby and the 3 yo, to make sure that they are gentle enough. The cat has been squeezed a little more than he'd like and petted a little hard, but overall the girls are doing great with trying their best and learning how to handle him, and the kitty is doing great with putting up with the kids. The kids are always supervised also. Just like having another human member of the family, everyone has to make adjustments. Getting a pet can be a huge change and often people don't know what they're getting into. And having kids and pets together sort of increases the responsibility exponentially. You have to take a lot of care that the pet is good with the kids and that the kids are good with the pets. You have to give the same consideration with other pets already in the family. I think kids and pets can be a great combination. I don't personally think waiting until children are school aged is a great limitation for every family. If children grow from babies around animals, accepting them, respecting them, and always tought how to handle them, I think it just comes natural as they get older. I think it's better to decide if the parents are ready and prepared to make sure that everyone is tought to get along and to be there to physically see it through. Also, it is possible for a child to be the one who always does the caretaking of the pet, while the parent oversees and makes sure it is done correctly.
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08-11-2005, 05:12 AM | #17 | |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
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With some (a significant percentage) kids, having pets when the child is very young is like a constant birthday party - for someone else. It's all noise, activity, excitement, and lots of complicated social rules. They get so wound up and they act out. Some kids, around pets, stay at that level of intensity and can't control themselves, even with consistent coaching. |
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08-11-2005, 08:06 PM | #18 | |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
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08-11-2005, 08:29 PM | #19 | |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
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Our next-door neighbors have two small dogs and a 2-year-old boy. When he sees OUR dog, he just goes nuts and wants to grab and pet and squeeze her ... but he isn't like that with his OWN dogs! I think it is just the "newness" of another pet. That said, I don't think that families with children under 6 or so should generally adopt very small kittens (15 weeks or younger) or small-breed puppies. There are certainly exceptions -- I have known many gentle, trustworth children under that age -- but as a whole, I think most of them just don't understand how badly they could accidentally injure a pet. |
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08-11-2005, 09:13 PM | #20 | |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
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08-12-2005, 05:52 AM | #21 | |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
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For many families, the best decision is to wait a few years. |
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08-12-2005, 04:47 PM | #22 |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
For many families, getting an older (like 6-month-old) kitten is a good solution, or getting a slightly larger breed of dog. However, that doesn't really solve the problem of a pet hurting a child! I think that most cats will simply avoid kids it they're annoying them ... though I'm sure that there are plenty of cats who would scratch or bite a child who was being VERY rough. And you can also be sure to select a tolerant dog ... a lab, for example, will put up with a lot more from children than most terriers will.
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08-12-2005, 06:00 PM | #23 |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
I totally agree with you about the breed thing. I have been in a lot of disagreements with people (DH included) who insist that some breeds aren't more of a risk with kids. Different breeds were breed for different purposes, and so their inherrant behavior is different. There are dogs that don't fit the generalization, but that's not a risk I'm willing to take with my kids. But, I guess if you did have a dog of one of those breeds, you would just need to take extra precautions. 6 months would probably be a really good age from a kitty. And there are lots of precautions being taken with this little kitten (who was rescued from being put down- that's why he's so little and in our family now.) I know it's not a good choice for everyone, but for some it works out fine. I don't think it's quite right to say that it's a poor choice if you're willing to do what's necessary and see it through.
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08-12-2005, 06:38 PM | #24 | |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
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I also don't prefer that families get a very dominant breed unless they know how to properly teach their dog that it is below ALL the family members, including the little ones. I am convinced that the vast majority of dog attacks where "he just snapped!" are because the dog was allowed to rule the roost and then one day decided to put a person in his/her "place." Most toy breeds are also not suitable, either ... they are so fragile and so appealing to children that they can easily be squeezed too hard or dropped, or get injured and bite to try to defend themselves. But shih tzus, bichons and Cavalier King Charles are all a little bit on the bigger side and are very easygoing, so they might work with some families. |
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08-12-2005, 11:41 PM | #25 |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
Oh my, I never thought bout any of the breed aspects.
I grew up from birth on with lotsa cats. And from about 2yrs old and on we had dogs like Cocker Spaniels, poodles, and Collie's. I though am a big fan of German Shepherd. Can you all recommend a good family dog breed-obviously for a family of kids age 6+???? Whatta bout a friendly mutt from the Pound?? :/
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30yr old sahm mom of 3 sweethearts, dd1 age 10, dd2 age 6, ds age 4 and TTCing for even more!! YIKES lol Married since 3-29-03 not the perfect marriage but it has improved a lot and come far, a work in progress, your prayers and patient gentle friendship are much appreciated. <3 Also a proud mom to 3 furbabies. Jasmine cat age 6, and twins Clawdia and Tennie kittens born May '10 |
08-13-2005, 06:22 AM | #26 |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
A dog from the pound can absolutely be a great family pet! One thing I recommend is looking at www.petfinder.com and finding foster-based rescues in your area, where the dogs live with families in their homes. The foster homes usually know more than a shelter or pound volunteer will about the dog's personality and how it reacts in certain situations. Many foster families even have kids of their own, so they can tell you how the dog is with them.
What you will find at the pound varies by region, but in my area, you will find a lot of shepherd, lab, pit bull and beagle mixes. I personally think any of the above can be wonderful. Shepherd mixes are obviously going to be the biggest and hairiest! Some can be VERY large and very high energy. We fostered one BEAUTIFUL one who was about 100 pounds, and we just couldn't walk the poor guy enough to work off all his energy! Lab mixes will be on the larger side usually, as well, and they can be pretty energetic as well. I find that big dogs are usually very good with small children, but the downside is that they can accidentally knock them over, especially if they tend to jump! Of course, many people have vastly differing opinions on pit bulls. My personal opinion after working with a large number in rescue for the past eight or nine years is that they are a very loyal, loving breed that has the misfortune to appeal to some very evil people in our society. They are usually extremely tolerant with children. (Check out these adorable photos! http://pitbulls.iwarp.com/photo.html ) BUT they can tend to be dominant, particularly the males, and they can be aggressive toward other dogs. For those reasons, I would recommend them only for experienced dog owners and/or people with dominant personalities. As for beagle mixes, IMHO, they are usually very good family dogs -- a nice size, good with children and very friendly. The downsides is that they MUST have a fenced yard, or they will wander after every interesting scent, and they can tend to howl and dig. We fostered a sweet little beagle mix named Betsy a few years ago ... she tore our back yard up trying to find this mole (who had already torn our back yard up!) She eventually cornered it, but DH didn't have the heart to kill it ... which I thought was sweet I don't know HOW big a dog you are looking for, but if you don't mind a very large one, what about a Great Dane? My friend does Dane rescue, and I find that they are VERY friendly, tolerant dogs who aren't particularly active. Plus, they are extremely gentle but definitely have a deep, intimidating bark -- no one is ever going to break into their house, for sure! The downside is that the biggest one, Blanco, can walk right up to the stove and -- without standing up at all -- steal a chicken right off the stove (we saw him do it!) |
08-22-2005, 06:00 AM | #27 |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
Thanks for this. This is one of the reasons we are waiting to have any pets (other than our fish!) until the our youngest is 4 or 5. It is SO much responsibility and work as well. It sort of makes it more fun, too. Waiting for something you want can be a good thing.
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09-02-2005, 08:23 PM | #28 |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
I was on vacation and looking up horse-riding stables and came across this unusual ranch. I am intrigued and cautiously wary at the same time. If you have a moment, take a look around the site and let me know what you think?
http://www.horscery.org/ |
09-02-2005, 09:44 PM | #29 | ||
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
Considering horsemanship alone, it seems like they have a pretty good approach. I kind of get a bad feeling from the spiritual tones in their program and philosophy though.
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09-03-2005, 08:43 AM | #30 |
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Re: Pets, Kids and Families
Thanks Julia. I know very little about animals but my children are extreamly interested in them. I found their approach to respecting the animals interesting, you called it horsemanship. I would be interested in finding out more about this gentle approach from other sources. I agree that it has spiritual overtones that I am not in agreement with or comfortable with, hence the caution. The very word "horsery" conjured up thoughts of "sorcery"
I just ponder the connection in animal & child "training" and the aproaches we as human's use. I do not agree with shamenism but I do wonder why the Native people had such a natural connection to the creation. Adam and Eve would have before sin. And we are new creations in Christ are we not? Just wondering..... If you have more to share I'd be interested |
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