ETLDTD - week 2, day 4-- 7/10/8

[Living My Dream]

brilliant hunny

[Radosny Matka]

Originally Posted by KLin

Hello mamas. I slept last night after DH got home. I did not read lastnight. We are having a way better day today, including reacting to Grandma. Did not think that I would be using this book to help with my relationship with her. Seems like the older she gets them more I need to be the adult.

I am paying attention, accepting the way things are and offering choices. I am also being more assertive.

[The Tickle Momster]

I posted my reminders this morning. Hopefully seeing them all day will help me use them.

DS woke up in a foul mood. Really hard to be near him when he's like that. All I get from him is grunts and running away. Now he's outside playing with dd2. They play really well together, when dd1 is not there to "direct".

Last night bedtime was AWFUL! I'm on my own tonight. Hopefully it will be better.

KLIN -- sometimes a good night's sleep makes all the difference.

[MamaMansa]

Originally Posted by Lula

glad im useful for smething. my imagination is waaaaaaaaay too big. if you ever need ideas do ask me

What about for bedtime? My older kids have no problems with this, but my youngest resists getting in bed in the first place, and then gets out of bed 5 or 6 times before actually falling asleep. She just turned 4, has a wild imagination, and would love me to use something funny, but I just can't think of anything!

[Living My Dream]

Whats the issue? What are you wanting to happen? (focussing on - yo get more of)

we have a gate up on DS's door and at bedtime he can choose 2/3 books to read in bed by himself. ew do the choice of lifting up to get into bed. he can lie down like a crocodile in the water or like a mouse tucked up in its hole.

[MamaMansa]

Originally Posted by Lula

Whats the issue? What are you wanting to happen? (focussing on - yo get more of)

we have a gate up on DS's door and at bedtime he can choose 2/3 books to read in bed by himself. ew do the choice of lifting up to get into bed. he can lie down like a crocodile in the water or like a mouse tucked up in its hole.

I'm wanting her to get in bed when asked, and stay there. The crocodile and mouse options are great! I'm going to write those down. That would definitely get her into bed, but I still run into the problem of her getting back out and coming up with any reason on the planet not to stay there.

[Living My Dream]

do you have toys in her room?

[MamaMansa]

Originally Posted by Lula

do you have toys in her room?

No, we have a "den" or toy room right outside of her room. She shares a room with her (almost) 12-year-old sister.

[Living My Dream]

so a gate isnt an option?

whats your bedtime routine like?

would you be willing to do a book in bed? my ds reads till he falls asleep and he now never gets out of bed.

[MamaMansa]

Originally Posted by Lula

so a gate isnt an option?

whats your bedtime routine like?

would you be willing to do a book in bed? my ds reads till he falls asleep and he now never gets out of bed.

Never thought about a gate. That might work. However, she may stand and howl at not being able to get through. LOL.

Bedtime routine is.....change to pajamas, brush teeth, book, get in bed. She always gets through that......it's the staying in bed that's a big problem. She'll get up, and come downstairs, or to wherever we are.

She's only 4, so she doesn't read yet, but maybe you meant pictures books and such. That might work too. I guess I need to get some book lights!

[Living My Dream]

It took us only 3 nights for him to get used to the idea of the gate. The first night i stayed with him for a while with the gate shutting us both in. we talked about staying in our bed at night cosy and warm and then we sleep better. we spoke about good bedtimes where we can look at books (yes pictures) and think about our day and be well rested in the morning from a good nights sleep. the night after he wasnt as worried and we talked over the gate and then he took his books into bed when i passed them over (maybe give choice - do you want to come to the gate and take your books to bed? or would you like them in bed waiting for you?)
by night 3 he was happy. I did not do any CC. for the first few nights i went back up every 15mins or so just to say hello we're still here kind of thing, and made sure that for a few weeks he could hear us talking/the tv etc so he knew we were there and didnt have to check we were still there KWIM?

I dont know how your house is set up but we just leave the landing light on and that send enough light into his rooom.

[Amber]

So far today is going really well. Today our church had a "park day" and we met at fountain and let the kids splash in the water and had a picnic lunch. It went really well. There was a yarn shop nearby, and we stopped in before heading home. Before going in I started to give the boys "the rules" and I started off with "Don't touch the yarn" I caught myself and thought that's not what I want, and rephrased it to "Keep your hands off the yarn. Ask Mommy before touching anything." And it worked, for the most part

I really have to work on that. I used to be really good at stating what I wanted them to do, but that has really started to slip lately.

[mummy2boys]

Well I am working on the Power of Attention still and gaining their attention before talking. I used to tend to call from the other end of the house (and have been doing it again lately) and they would either 1) hear me and ignore me or 2) shout back loud My fault totally So I have been going right up to them (especially DS #2 who with his ADHD is all over the place lately - methinks something he has been eating is setting him off - but thats another story) and waiting till they look at me. Its amazing the difference it makes when they can't help but look at you when you are right in front of them

WIll re-read the pages again as I agree with Jodi - the more I read the more it sinks in

Unfortunately I haven't done any of the readings yet for this week I will try to get onto that today.

[tempus vernum]

still haven't done any reading I am so tired still I got up at 5am to run and the kids got up with me so then I didn't run and I have had two tired children today. We've done okay though. I did REALLY well with Alyssa's distractedness today. I touched her back and pointed to the stairs when I told her "time to get dressed." I waited, she forgot what she was doing .. . and I took her by the hand and said "would you like me to pick out your clothes for you or do you want to pick them out yourself?" She was up the stiars in a flash. Why her distractability is annoying is beyond me because we are so much alike but. . it is still a trigger

I am hoping for a good night's sleep tonight and for some reading time to read cheat sheets - I suppose I could be doing that right now

I am loving these threads

Praying for all of you still

Sara, I have so been there Even when I KNOW I am not going to cancel. I wish I had some easy answer.

Laura, can you have her burrow down in the bed like a mole does or hide in her hole like some animal that hides in a hole I can't think of any but a mole If you find a cute book about baby animals and one that burrows in a hole to go to sleep that might help I don't have any good advice because I still sit and hold Luke's hand until he's asleep at 6.5. At 8, Alyssa goes to sleep without me but. . . well. . . it was never important enough for me to make an issue of them falling asleep in their own bed without me in the room so

Shnooky, I'll do the reading if you do.
mlrowley
Klin, AMber and mummy2boys Good reminders.

It's such a huge chore to revamp your entire thinking process - I am so glad for all of you I thought I had more things to say but I can't remember (member I am distractible )