Grandparents changing their names

Taedareth · 05-01-2015, 12:51 AM

Anyone else had this happen?

Three of our grandparents have randomly announced that they will no longer be known as Grandma Jean (or insert other grandparent name here) and would rather go by some other callsign, like Mammaw or whatever. My children are halfway grown. It's really unfair to make them unlearn their grandparents' names halfway through their childhoods :/ In all three cases, the catalyst was that some other grandchild was on the way, and the grandparent saw it as an opportunity to reinvent themselves. At my children's expense :/ Fine with me if these people want subsequent grandchildren to call them by another name, but what bothers me is that they insist on using the unfamiliar name with my kids too. I thought the best thing about grandparents was that they provide a *stable* influence in children's lives

2sunshines · 05-01-2015, 03:19 AM

Honestly, it wouldn't bother me too much. Kids are resilient. People have the right to choose what other people call them.

Have you talked to your kids about it? They may be far less bothered by it than you are.

Also, you may find that the "new name" doesn't stick. Sometimes people want to try something new and it just doesn't stick and it all falls back to the old.

TenderLovingWillow · 05-01-2015, 03:46 AM

That would really bug me. My grandparents wanted to go by Omar and Opa of something like that when my kids were born, and it just felt so odd and unnatural, that I tried-but it didn't end up sticking. It sounded babyish to me even though they are Dutch words and not really babyish.

2sunshines · 05-01-2015, 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenderLovingWillow

That would really bug me. My grandparents wanted to go by Omar and Opa of something like that when my kids were born, and it just felt so odd and unnatural, that I tried-but it didn't end up sticking. It sounded babyish to me even though they are Dutch words and joy really babyish.

Awww, that's such a cultural thing. I have an Oma and Opa.

mipennsn · 05-01-2015, 03:56 AM

My mom has different names from her different families my kids call her Mena or grandma and my nephew calls her Momma.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

titosmommy · 05-01-2015, 05:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2sunshines

Awww, that's such a cultural thing. I have an Oma and Opa.

My mom and dad are Oma and Opa to my kids!

️

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

bananacake · 05-01-2015, 05:45 AM

This would be very hard for me. My stepbrother decided to go by his first name for professional reasons (after going by his middle name) and I never remember to call him that

tempus vernum · 05-01-2015, 05:51 AM

To me im w Romeo and Juliet
"What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet!"

While it it hard, I would see how it went over. My parents are Oma and Papa. My IL's are grandma and Grandpa.

We used to be Mama and Daddy and my kids naturally went to mon and dad. It was actually hard for me at first but I love my kids and I let it go.

My dd1 is 15 and talking about changing her name. She's always felt her name doesn't quite fit her.

Leslie · 05-01-2015, 06:08 AM

We have an Oma on the German side and a Tutu on the Hawaiian side.

Our kids grew up calling us Mommy and Daddy but my youngest two have started using Mom and Dad, and it does feel weird. I guess I'll adjust.

I agree with 2Sunshines. It may not bother the kids.

TenderLovingWillow · 05-01-2015, 06:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2sunshines

Awww, that's such a cultural thing. I have an Oma and Opa.

That's cool.

I just had a hard time switching and we almost never see them, so I think that didn't help. I think if they lived closer it may have stuck.

Aerynne · 05-01-2015, 06:22 AM

I'd let them deal with it. If they want to change, they can talk to the kids about it, correct them when they do it the old way, etc.

I'm not a big fan of making big kids (or any kids, but especially big kids) use babyish words, though.

MegMarch · 05-01-2015, 06:31 AM

I'd tell the kids the grandparents' wishes and then leave it. If they want to use the new names

Singingmom · 05-01-2015, 06:37 AM

I would respect their wishes, but it might be hard for the kids to use the new names.

When my grandma died and my grandad remarried, my step grandma really wanted me to start calling him grandpa but no way was I doing that at age 14. He was Grandad to me and I was just that stubborn. If he had cared I would have grudgingly made the change, but it was a big deal to me.

ValiantJoy07 · 05-01-2015, 08:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Singingmom

I would respect their wishes, but it might be hard for the kids to use the new names.

When my grandma died and my grandad remarried, my step grandma really wanted me to start calling him grandpa but no way was I doing that at age 14. He was Grandad to me and I was just that stubborn. If he had cared I would have grudgingly made the change, but it was a big deal to me.

This reminded me, when my Grandmother remarried the "little cousins" called him "wopwop" (his grand kids called him 'pawpaw" and they thought it would be fun to call him pawpaw backwards.

WopWop! our real grandfather was "Popop"

) Anyway, they all were just little kids aged 4-9 when he married Nana- I was already in my 20's with 2 kids. I call him Jim (or mostly avoid calling him any thing

I feel awkward because he signs things "grandpa" but

I mostly address him as "G-Gpa Jim" in front of the kids because to my kids he's all they've ever known for a great grandfather figure).

Anyway, I think it depends on the kids and ages and relationship.

3PeasInAPod · 05-01-2015, 08:38 AM

Honestly if a grandparent is going to keep changing what they want to be called I wouldn't even tell the kids and try to be as little involved with the whole thing as possible. The grandparent can explain it to them if they want but I wouldn't correct the kids if they forget. .sheez that would bother me

05-01-2015, 12:51 AM	#1
Taedareth Rose Garden The Doctor: If there's one thing I can't stand it's an unpunctual alien attack! Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 4,895	Grandparents changing their names Anyone else had this happen? Three of our grandparents have randomly announced that they will no longer be known as Grandma Jean (or insert other grandparent name here) and would rather go by some other callsign, like Mammaw or whatever. My children are halfway grown. It's really unfair to make them unlearn their grandparents' names halfway through their childhoods :/ In all three cases, the catalyst was that some other grandchild was on the way, and the grandparent saw it as an opportunity to reinvent themselves. At my children's expense :/ Fine with me if these people want subsequent grandchildren to call them by another name, but what bothers me is that they insist on using the unfamiliar name with my kids too. I thought the best thing about grandparents was that they provide a stable influence in children's lives __________________ Sarah - INFJ - DYT 4/2 Soapmaker. Sourdough baker. Seed sower. Duck grower. Hungarian speaker. Torah seeker. Keep within me / a stillness / deeper and sweeter / than a forest's / in mid of winter. ~Hebridean Altars

05-01-2015, 03:19 AM	#2
2sunshines Moderator in Celebrations, Cloth Diapering & EC, Empty Arms, Prayer & Praise, and Swap n' Shop Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 27,029	Re: Grandparents changing their names Honestly, it wouldn't bother me too much. Kids are resilient. People have the right to choose what other people call them. Have you talked to your kids about it? They may be far less bothered by it than you are. Also, you may find that the "new name" doesn't stick. Sometimes people want to try something new and it just doesn't stick and it all falls back to the old. __________________ married 25 years mom to two young adults (23 and 20) and two teens (17 and 15)

05-01-2015, 03:46 AM	#3
TenderLovingWillow Rose Garden Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 8,673	Re: Grandparents changing their names That would really bug me. My grandparents wanted to go by Omar and Opa of something like that when my kids were born, and it just felt so odd and unnatural, that I tried-but it didn't end up sticking. It sounded babyish to me even though they are Dutch words and not really babyish. __________________ WILLOW Mom to Four Munchkins Birth Doula Childbirth Educator Babywearing Educator Vegetarian Last edited by TenderLovingWillow; 05-01-2015 at 06:12 AM.*

05-01-2015, 03:56 AM	#5
mipennsn Rose Garden Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Michigan Posts: 6,389	Re: Grandparents changing their names My mom has different names from her different families my kids call her Mena or grandma and my nephew calls her Momma. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Autum - esFJ Wife to Russ - EnFj Mommy to my boys T (15 ), W (13), D (10), & My GIRL H who is 7! Full time mommy and breadwinner for my family

05-01-2015, 05:45 AM	#7
bananacake Rose Garden I Am A BananaCake Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Northeast US Posts: 25,129	Re: Grandparents changing their names This would be very hard for me. My stepbrother decided to go by his first name for professional reasons (after going by his middle name) and I never remember to call him that __________________ Brenna 3 kiddos (16 1/2, 14 & 9) Praying for semi-son, age 35 I live by the motto: seek first to understand. "Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions." Proverbs 18:2

05-01-2015, 05:51 AM	#8
tempus vernum Rose Garden I am the mountain. I am not the storm and the storm is not me. -Ian Cron Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 28,913	Re: Grandparents changing their names To me im w Romeo and Juliet "What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet!" While it it hard, I would see how it went over. My parents are Oma and Papa. My IL's are grandma and Grandpa. We used to be Mama and Daddy and my kids naturally went to mon and dad. It was actually hard for me at first but I love my kids and I let it go. My dd1 is 15 and talking about changing her name. She's always felt her name doesn't quite fit her. __________________ ~Spring always comes after winter~ 2 Corinthians 4:16 “ Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. ”

05-01-2015, 06:08 AM	#9
Leslie Rose Garden Genteel Princess Mollie Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 6,203	Re: Grandparents changing their names We have an Oma on the German side and a Tutu on the Hawaiian side. Our kids grew up calling us Mommy and Daddy but my youngest two have started using Mom and Dad, and it does feel weird. I guess I'll adjust. I agree with 2Sunshines. It may not bother the kids.

05-01-2015, 06:22 AM	#11
Aerynne Rose Garden Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 27,359	Re: Grandparents changing their names I'd let them deal with it. If they want to change, they can talk to the kids about it, correct them when they do it the old way, etc. I'm not a big fan of making big kids (or any kids, but especially big kids) use babyish words, though. __________________ Erin born of water and of the Spirit 4/96 married 5/02 Mama to: 2004 2007 2010 2012 2017 2019 Jan 2, 2024 And many I hope to hold in heaven one day

05-01-2015, 06:31 AM	#12
MegMarch Rose Garden Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 5,922	Re: Grandparents changing their names I'd tell the kids the grandparents' wishes and then leave it. If they want to use the new names

05-01-2015, 06:37 AM	#13
Singingmom Administrator Oh, sing to the Lord a new song! Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 25,956	Re: Grandparents changing their names I would respect their wishes, but it might be hard for the kids to use the new names. When my grandma died and my grandad remarried, my step grandma really wanted me to start calling him grandpa but no way was I doing that at age 14. He was Grandad to me and I was just that stubborn. If he had cared I would have grudgingly made the change, but it was a big deal to me. __________________ Kelly Wife to my sweetheart for 30 years Grateful mom to 3 young adults Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 Last edited by Singingmom; 05-01-2015 at 06:39 AM.

05-01-2015, 08:38 AM	#15
3PeasInAPod Deactivated Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: pnw Posts: 8,571	Re: Grandparents changing their names Honestly if a grandparent is going to keep changing what they want to be called I wouldn't even tell the kids and try to be as little involved with the whole thing as possible. The grandparent can explain it to them if they want but I wouldn't correct the kids if they forget. .sheez that would bother me

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