I am so sad

OnAMission · 05-05-2014, 11:54 AM

This morning we were pulling into the parking lot, and I saw a mom just going at it on a little boy of 6 or 7.

His brother (I assume) was standing nearby looking sad and embarrassed. I was so sad for all of them And I so wished I could help somehow, but I couldn't think of anything I could do besides pray for them. Is there anything I could do if I see it again? I just keep seeing the scene over and over in my head. And I'm in tears just thinking about it.

I feel so helpless. I wish there was a way I could have stepped in to give the mom a chance to calm down and for the little boys to not have to be hurt... to let them all have a do over, even just for this morning.

LearningMama · 05-05-2014, 12:04 PM

Sparrow · 05-05-2014, 12:06 PM

I think in that experience trying to help when a mom is that angry could make it worse later for a child.

Where I live that is reportable. I'd take down the plate and report it TBH. Not to get her into trouble, but maybe she is really struggling and needs help.

phathui5 · 05-05-2014, 08:35 PM

Going up and saying "Do you need help?" (to the mom) could interrupt the beating.

sunflowermom · 05-05-2014, 08:55 PM

I'm so sorry. I would also take the license plate number and report. It's so hard to see that type of situation.

OnAMission · 05-06-2014, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phathui5

Going up and saying "Do you need help?" (to the mom) could interrupt the beating.

I thought about doing that, but I was concerned about what would happen to the child behind closed doors later.

plus I had my own four kids with me.

I think getting the license plate and calling would probably be the best bet. I looked up the Texas definition of abuse, and I'm pretty sure this would fall under "beating", though it was with an open hand and very much looked like a (thorough and over-the-top) spanking which probably is legal here, sadly.

Joyanne · 05-06-2014, 08:54 AM

What if you called the police and told them someone was beating their child in the parking lot??

Record it on your phone and then call the police??

In Christ,
Joy

beansmama · 05-11-2014, 02:15 PM

I probably would have blown my horn for a while at her to distract and stop her. Not look directly at her though. When I am in public, I ask them "excuse me, do you know what time it is?" at a level they can hear, and that usually stops and distracts them and lets them know they are in public. Some people lose it and forget themselves.

RaisingRoyalty · 06-08-2014, 05:21 AM

I really don't think that reporting the mother is going to help in the long term.

She obviously parents this way and believes it is necessary or acceptable and she probably doesn't know any better. That is probably how she was raised herself.

How about interrupting her and pointing out that she should not be behaving that way in public and then secondly, tell her that you know a more effective way to discipline children and would like to tell her more about it?

Then you would have to have a card or tract or something handy to give her to contact you by.

There are a lot of desparate parents out there that don't actually know how to effectively parent their children. We should see them as a mission-field and be prepared and equipped with materials to offer them an alternative.

ThreeKids · 06-08-2014, 06:16 AM

It's legal in Texas and physically intervening could put you in jail and this is also a person who has shown she's willing to use violence to win her point. There are risks, but that makes intervening that much more heroic.

OnAMission · 06-08-2014, 09:59 AM

I found it really sad because other than prayer, I'm not sure there's a whole lot I can do... I don't have a relationship to model another way (which is what it would take), intervening in the moment might make it stop, but given what she was willing to do in public, I can only imagine what goes on in private. Unlike a government agency, I cannot follow through with checks and more information to help the family. It really is a one-time deal. And, frankly, what she was doing is probably legal in Texas

All that to say, I think of them often, and pray that God would work in all of their hearts. A new peace and gentleness in the mom, forgiveness and strength for the boys, and that God would bring people into their lives that would model and encourage them to have healthier relationships.

ETA: I really like the blow the horn and ask some sort of neutral question idea!

kiloyd · 06-08-2014, 10:19 AM

That is horrible!

Hitting over and over is beating! Those poor poor children.

BarefootBetsy · 06-08-2014, 12:35 PM

I don't know what I would do

Maybe offer help?

JessicaGhig · 11-17-2014, 10:15 AM

As a child who grew up in this sort of family, I can say that causing embarrassment to the mom by saying anything would have likely resulted in much, much worse for the poor child once they got home. If she is willing to do that in public then it's likely 10x worse in private.

Elyse221 · 11-17-2014, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JessicaGhig

As a child who grew up in this sort of family, I can say that causing embarrassment to the mom by saying anything would have likely resulted in much, much worse for the poor child once they got home. If she is willing to do that in public then it's likely 10x worse in private.

I think this is a good point. The child may be blamed for "making" the parent hit them and making them look bad, causing more abuse. It's so hard to know what to do. I nearly have panic attacks when I witness these things.

05-05-2014, 11:54 AM	#1
OnAMission Rose Trellis Formerly kdhfly Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,760	I am so sad This morning we were pulling into the parking lot, and I saw a mom just going at it on a little boy of 6 or 7. She had his wrist and was just hitting him over and over with all her strength while he struggled to get away. His brother (I assume) was standing nearby looking sad and embarrassed. I was so sad for all of them And I so wished I could help somehow, but I couldn't think of anything I could do besides pray for them. Is there anything I could do if I see it again? I just keep seeing the scene over and over in my head. And I'm in tears just thinking about it. I feel so helpless. I wish there was a way I could have stepped in to give the mom a chance to calm down and for the little boys to not have to be hurt... to let them all have a do over, even just for this morning. __________________ DH and four along for our crazy ride The greater the difficulty the greater the glory - Cicero

05-05-2014, 12:04 PM	#2
LearningMama Rose Trellis Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Virginia Posts: 1,938	Re: I am so sad __________________ Celeste INFJ Married to Marcus June 2009 Mama to "Little Bear" February 2011 Welcome Baby "YoYo" !! January 2014 Keeper of one grey cat Liz ...Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. Matthew 25:40

05-05-2014, 12:06 PM	#3
Sparrow Rose Garden Immerse your soul in love. Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Victoria, BC Posts: 17,611	Re: I am so sad I think in that experience trying to help when a mom is that angry could make it worse later for a child. Where I live that is reportable. I'd take down the plate and report it TBH. Not to get her into trouble, but maybe she is really struggling and needs help. __________________ Manda Mama to: Bear 16.75 Funny and Tender. Larger than life. ENFP Max 14 Affectionate and Spirited. Artist Chickadee 8! She's Sunshine and Song. Born in the caul We have a fur baby. A cat called Charlie

05-05-2014, 08:35 PM	#4
phathui5 Rose Bouquet Midwife, Mom of Five Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Lebanon, OR Posts: 979	Re: I am so sad Going up and saying "Do you need help?" (to the mom) could interrupt the beating. __________________ Midwife & Homeschooling Mom with: 14yods, 11yodd, 9yods, 7yods, 3yo ds & twin (!) fds http://www.birthwithliz.com/

05-05-2014, 08:55 PM	#5
sunflowermom Rose Garden Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Oregon Posts: 3,579	Re: I am so sad I'm so sorry. I would also take the license plate number and report. It's so hard to see that type of situation. __________________ Mae Married my DH in 2/2008 Gave birth my DS 3/2012

05-06-2014, 08:54 AM	#7
Joyanne Deactivated Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 279	Re: I am so sad What if you called the police and told them someone was beating their child in the parking lot?? Record it on your phone and then call the police?? In Christ, Joy

05-11-2014, 02:15 PM	#8
beansmama Rose Blossom A sinner saved my a merciful Savior - repenting of spanking, yelling and otherwise unloving mothering. Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 142	Re: I am so sad I probably would have blown my horn for a while at her to distract and stop her. Not look directly at her though. When I am in public, I ask them "excuse me, do you know what time it is?" at a level they can hear, and that usually stops and distracts them and lets them know they are in public. Some people lose it and forget themselves.

06-08-2014, 05:21 AM	#9
RaisingRoyalty Seedling Rose But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people (1 Peter 2:9) Join Date: May 2014 Posts: 11	Re: I am so sad I really don't think that reporting the mother is going to help in the long term. She obviously parents this way and believes it is necessary or acceptable and she probably doesn't know any better. That is probably how she was raised herself. How about interrupting her and pointing out that she should not be behaving that way in public and then secondly, tell her that you know a more effective way to discipline children and would like to tell her more about it? Then you would have to have a card or tract or something handy to give her to contact you by. There are a lot of desparate parents out there that don't actually know how to effectively parent their children. We should see them as a mission-field and be prepared and equipped with materials to offer them an alternative.

06-08-2014, 06:16 AM	#10
ThreeKids Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: .. Posts: 10,737	Re: I am so sad It's legal in Texas and physically intervening could put you in jail and this is also a person who has shown she's willing to use violence to win her point. There are risks, but that makes intervening that much more heroic. __________________ DS (12), DD (10), DD2 (7) And my kids were going to behave perfectly all the time and if they didn't, they'd be Dobsoned, but I was going to Dobson so perfectly that they'd know not to slip up but once or twice because I was going to be sooooooo consistent and awesome and wise.

06-08-2014, 09:59 AM	#11
OnAMission Rose Trellis Formerly kdhfly Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 1,760	Re: I am so sad I found it really sad because other than prayer, I'm not sure there's a whole lot I can do... I don't have a relationship to model another way (which is what it would take), intervening in the moment might make it stop, but given what she was willing to do in public, I can only imagine what goes on in private. Unlike a government agency, I cannot follow through with checks and more information to help the family. It really is a one-time deal. And, frankly, what she was doing is probably legal in Texas All that to say, I think of them often, and pray that God would work in all of their hearts. A new peace and gentleness in the mom, forgiveness and strength for the boys, and that God would bring people into their lives that would model and encourage them to have healthier relationships. ETA: I really like the blow the horn and ask some sort of neutral question idea! __________________ DH and four along for our crazy ride The greater the difficulty the greater the glory - Cicero

06-08-2014, 10:19 AM	#12
kiloyd Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: South Carolina Posts: 16,108	Re: I am so sad That is horrible! Hitting over and over is beating! Those poor poor children. __________________ k-i-loyd, not kill loyd ISFJ/P Katherine, married 8-9-97 ds1 22 (adding a dil in August!) dd1 18 dd2 16 ds2 10

06-08-2014, 12:35 PM	#13
BarefootBetsy Rose Garden "You are on the path...exactly where you are meant to be." Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Seeking Simplicity Posts: 12,684	Re: I am so sad I don't know what I would do Maybe offer help? __________________ Barefooting through life with dh (2003), dd1 (11/05), dd2 (7/07), dd3 (11/09), and ds (8/13). Unless explicitly stated otherwise, any views or opinions presented in the above posts are solely those of BarefootBetsy, the GCM member, and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of anyone else in the entire world.

11-17-2014, 10:15 AM	#14
JessicaGhig Seedling Rose Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Kansas City MO Posts: 22	Re: I am so sad As a child who grew up in this sort of family, I can say that causing embarrassment to the mom by saying anything would have likely resulted in much, much worse for the poor child once they got home. If she is willing to do that in public then it's likely 10x worse in private.

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