Brainstorm with me, please

[charla]

I have an opportunity to teach parenting to a person who asked me to teach them out of the blue. I haven't ever taught parenting and I have tons of ideas swirling around in my head. I would normally just have her read, but she cannot read.

So please brainstorm with me ideas on teaching parenting. What parenting ideas would you include?? Non-reading resources???

[MegMarch]

For me, it is a big deal to consider a few things. The relationship I hope to have with my daughter in teen and adult years. The way I believe all people deserve to be treated. Understanding age expected abilities. The fact that other people don't actually need to know the ins and outs of our family issues and that when they do know, they take it as an invitation to advise.

I would suggest you give a list of online resources, especially FB pages to follow that will keep small, digestible bits of support and education in day to day life. Podcasts as well.

[Kiara.I]

I'd include relationship, like MegMarch said, and the point that relationship needs to be maintained *first.*
Then, developmental stages. No, when the 6-month-old wriggles on the change table it's not a discipline issue. That kind of thing. Exactly what she'll need will depend of course on age/stage and on how much she's aware of that already.

Is this a "teach me it all in 30 minutes over coffee once" kind of thing or can it be an ongoing discussion with her? Do you see her regularly?

I might try to cover the info from Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline (if only I could find my copy...) It would need to be in condensed form, of course.

Does the person have any ability to read at all? If so, brief lists of "key phrases" could help, that you discuss in detail but are there as a reminder. Connection before correction. Control yourself first. That kind of thing...

I think Celebrate Calm has DVDs. They're pricey though.
Any blog or website or article could be read aloud through basic adaptive tech.

[charla]

I'm not sure that she can read anything. It will be an ongoing relationship. I hope to meet with her tomorrow and find out more what she is looking for and then make a plan for how long I would meet with her. I'm shooting for meeting with her twice a month for about four months, and then follow-up once a month as needed.

I'm going to get out my books including Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline and see what could be used.

[ArmsOfLove]

I would look for dvd's and audiobooks as well. or apps that can read ebooks aloud.

As for mentoring, I would get together in a variety of situations and talk about where she is struggling and brainstorm solutions with her. and if anything comes up when you are together you can guide her through things to try and offer suggestions and feedback and encouragement.

What a powerful opportunity I'm praying for you

[charla]

Does anyone happen to know which grace-based parenting books are on DVD/audiobook? I'm not finding any in my library.

What is basic adaptive tech and how would one use it?

[mamaKristin]

I always find a good starting place is Barbara Coloroso's Kids are Worth it. There are videos out there - I remember watching one with DH like...15 years ago or so. It's a good intro into finding one's spine in parenting. For many people, they can't picture/comprehend being not a brick wall, without being a jellyfish. That really helped my DH wrap his head around parenting in a whole new way, and he didn't have to read (seminary student, no time for more books!)

[charla]

I found How To Talk So Kids Will Listen....on CD, so I'm going to have her check that out. I gave away my copy so long ago so I'm going to check out the book for me to brush up on.

*****************************
Hashing out my ideas for tomorrow:

• Discuss her goals for these parenting classes - what she hopes to accomplish.
• Ask her what she feels like is working for her. Make list.
• Ask her what she feels like isn't working. Make list.
• Give a brief introduction into gentle parenting making reference to the Golden Rule and perhaps Dr. Suess' quote, "A person's a person no matter how small.
• Make plans for future schedule of meetings and what we hope to accomplish using the above lists to drive the conversation.
• See if she can check out the book and listen to it before the next meeting.

***************************

I didn't find the Kids Are Worth It videos.

Does anyone have specific podcasts or FB resources you are thinking of?

[sweetpeas]

Originally Posted by charla

Does anyone happen to know which grace-based parenting books are on DVD/audiobook? I'm not finding any in my library.

What is basic adaptive tech and how would one use it?

I have cds for "Parenting is Heart Work" and "Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining . . ." Both by Scott Turansky & Joanne Miller. They're not audiobooks (though they have books by the same titles) but the audio of seminars they did on those books. I really enjoyed them (they do include spanking in their "toolbox" but pretty much make it something you'd end up never using) and, in fact, my kids have listened to them with me, because they're good speakers. I think they've done other resources in audio and DVD form as well. Here's their site: http://biblicalparenting.org/

I've never looked into it, but I think at least some Kindles will "read" some/most books to you. I know I've seen some special ed homeschool moms talk about using that, but I haven't paid close attention since it's not an issue we deal with and I don't have a Kindle (just use the app on my phone & tablet).

[Lady Grey]

How old are the children? Can you use Christian resources?

[charla]

The children are 7, 8 and 10, and I most definitely plan on using Christian resources that support gentle parenting.


The resources that I have available to me in book form are:

Biblical Parenting by Crystal Lutton
Grace Based Living by Crystal Lutton (e-book format only)
Adventures in Gentle Discipline (LLL)
The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey
Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining... by Scott Turansky
Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel

I used to have Families Where Grace Is In Place but loaned it out and never got it back, but I'm not sure that one fits in this situation.

[charla]

I met with her yesterday, and I think it went pretty well. She definitely has the goal of learning a more gentle parenting approach and so that was really encouraging. We have committed to getting together eight times and then will re-evaluate if we need to meet longer. Please pray for her because she doesn't have any support for gentle parenting.