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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:

23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 02-27-2011, 11:16 AM   #76
butterflyqueen71
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Default Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp

I know this is an old thread, but someone recommended Tripp's book (not to me, it was elsewhere online) and I did a quick GCM search and found this thread. What an eye opener! I am not in any circles where parenting books or resources are endorsed or recommended, with the exception of BW a loooong time ago) so it's really only through GCM that I learn what's out there. (Can you tell I don't read parenting books? )

I read the whole thing, and there were two mama's whose posts really touched me: Mom2boys and J3K.

Quote:
I do think that spanking damages the relationship between parents and child, therefore I think that it has no business in my parenting tool box. Have I used it? absolutely. Did it work? right away, yeah, but it took me a long time to rebuild what i destroyed by using that tool.
I could remodel my house with a hammer, and work on one room at a time, or I could use a bulldozer, and have to rebuild every room at once. The bulldozer is easier right away, but rebuilding each room at the same time wouldn't be worth the first time ease of the bulldozer.


Mom2boys


Here's the thing that rubs me... we are not in control of our child's salvation. That's on THEIR shoulders. My job is to show them a loving , kind , God that wants a real relationship with them. Past that , it's on THEIR terms. Not mine. No amount of applied parenting techniques takes away from the bare fact that we are only responsible for our own salvation. I can't find anywhere in the Bible where it says we are responsible for any one else's salvation , including our children. The verse so commonly used "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right"... the author is speaking to THE CHILDREN. Not the parents. That's for CHILDREN to read , to decide , to obey. I think it was ArmsOfLove (Crystal) that said "Children choose to obey us when they are obeying God." To swipe it around (they'll learn to obey God by obeying us) is putting the cart before the horse. Remember that verse isn't directed toward the parents. It's directed to the kids. My job is to show my kids that verse , and all the others surrounding it. Past that , that's their onus , not mine. Their salvation is in THEIR hands , not mine. Yes , that is a scary thought , but it's true. I can only help them so far , it's their road to walk.


J3K
You both captured my sentiments and my overall parenting philosophy so eloquently and so perfectly! You put to words exactly how I feel.

I was wondering, if I ever decided to do a blog post on my parenting, would you mind if I used the bolded quotes? I don't know how that would work...I could quote you anonymously (since I don't know your real names anyway lol! ) Or maybe I can just put it in my own words.

Thanks
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