How many kiddos?

[Aerynne]

We just had another one when we (I) felt ready. Our spacings are 36, 36, and 34 months (yes, three of my four kids have b-days in the same month). As for being done, we're thinking about it. I just don't feel up for going through the whole thing again (the ttc, the pregnancy, the birth, and mostly the hard, hard baby stage). Ds is 2 now and I am enjoying my sleep, a bit of freedom, etc. At the same time this July I will have been pregnant or nursing or both for 12 years. I can't imagine being done with all of that. It's easy not to want another one now since I still have a baby. When I don't anymore, we'll see how I feel. I'm 35. I think we've reached our limit on space, time, energy, tolerance for noise, and money. While we could go beyond, I think the kids we have now might be shortchanged. But I might feel differently when ds2 is a little older.

Also, friends, what on earth do you do for an eye infection if you don't have breast milk anymore? Inquiring minds want to know!

[mommychem]

I'm having a really hard time imagining that one day, my milk will be ALL gone.

[ReedleBeetle]

I haven't had milk for a few years now. I don't know WHAT we will do if we get an eye infection. Seriously. I don't have any friends that are nursing and local enough to share that wouldn't be BEYOND weirded out by the request.

[Amber]

Our plan was to have a couple of bio kids then adopt a couple of kids.

Our bio kids are 23 months apart, but when you add in our adopted kids their current ages are Big M 11.5 yrs, C 10.5 yrs, Little M 9yrs, K 8.5yrs. We thought we were done, but then we got a call about Miss A she is 3.5yrs.

I tell people that we are currently "done" because all the seats in our car are filled. However we are thinking of converting the middle row from two captain's chairs into a bench, giving us one empty seat So who knows.

We are, however, not planning on having any more bio kids.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

The plan was have at least 4 with a 2-3 year spacing. Adopt a kid or two later.

We had our first and 10 months later came number two. 15 months after he was born, three was born. 21 months after her, kiddo four was born. Then DH permanently stopped the bio kid thing due to my high risk pregnancies. We have been fostering for the past 2 years and hope to adopt at least two from foster care. We've had 3 placements and no one has stayed permanently so far but we'll see what God's plan is.

[Codi]

We are done at 3. Any other children will be because it was Gods plan, not ours. We haven't done anything permanent but don't want more either. We always "agreed" to three. I wanted 4, he wanted 2. But after having our third we just REALLY FELT done. I didn't have that peace after my other two at all.

3 years spacing between each. I do like the spacing, though it has it's challenges as anything does.

[Sweet Life]

Originally Posted by kaytlynhope

I'm wondering how you ladies came to decide how many children were right for your family and what age gap you felt was right.

Wow big question. We thought originally that we wanted to have one or two bio kiddos and then adopt one. We have always felt called to adoption. But as it turned out we adopted two, then birthed three. I would have more. DH won't. So, no action until unity we have not had anymore, we are at five beautiful beautiful children. No one except the Lord could have orchestrated the order in which they came to us, the order in which we learned to parent them, and the order in which (I) learned to accept that five is it (for us).

AFA age gap, the first ones were 18 months and 10 months apart. It was hard, but they make incredible playmates now. They are friends, true friends. The younger ones are more spaced out....I have to say I love 2 or maybe even 3 years apart ... it just offers more space for sanity, physical recovery, and time blessed time with each one.

Whatever the Lord is doing for YOU and your family, it is for YOU and your family so I encourage you to embrace what He's doing and love on your children and know that His will is good.

[SamRose]

Originally Posted by kaytlynhope

I'm wondering how you ladies came to decide how many children were right for your family and what age gap you felt was right.

When dh & I got together, I wanted 3 or 4 kids, he wanted lots (like 8 was a number he mentioned once when we first got together. Lucky he didnt scare me away, lol). But regardless of how many, we knew we wanted to have kids pretty much right away while we were still young. I didnt know anything about how long I should breastfeed, or how consecutive pregnancies can effect supply, etc, so I originally wanted abt 18 mons btwn all my kids.
Even though we didn't try for it, we did end up getting pregnant 9 mons after our wedding, and then again when that baby was 9 mons old, so we had our kids close and right away like I'd wanted. But my milk changed during pregnancy so my 1st weaned on his own much earlier than I eventually learned was optimal, so I didnt want to get pregnant so quickly again. But our 3rd surprise pregnancy came when our 2nd was just 12 mons old, so another sub-24 month gap happened. At 3 kids, and after my worst pregnanct yet, I was DONE at 3. Like 'pleading w/ dh to get a vasectomy' done. He didnt feel done, so he didnt get one, and when our 3rd was 24 mons old, surprise #4 was conceived. DH has since gotten the snip, since it's clear that no other prevention methods worked for us.

So our spacings ended up 18, 22, and 33 mons. Other than my oldest weaning at 14 mons, 18 mons is probably my fav gap. 22 mons isnt much different obviously, and it gave my 2nd born those extra months nursing. The big gap is my least fav, and maybe it's just cuz he's at the end? But he just seems so much younger than the rest, and I was used to 3 in 3 yrs w/ the youngest being physically advanced, so they were all in a similar stage for a while.
(and yes I realized that all my gaps are less than 3 yrs, so none seem like a 'big' gap to some, but there is a huge diff btwn 18m and 33m )

So we ended up w/ 4 kids in just over 6 yrs, and 6 yrs is more than enough to enjoy any phase of motherhood for me, so I definitely would not want bigger gaps and be restarting each phase every few years. But, some ppl like that because they're then able to enjoy each child's early years more. It's totally a personal preference thing, only it's one of the few things in life we dont usually get to decide for ourselves, so preferences dont matter much!

Originally Posted by mommychem

I'm having a really hard time imagining that one day, my milk will be ALL gone.

I remember thinking it would be weird when I left that phase of nursing and/or pregnant, but after a decade I was ready for it and it ended up being a smooth transition, albiet temporarily an odd feeling for my body to no longer be at least helping keep anybody other than myself alive from the inside.

[Hannah Elise]

Well, our gaps are 21mo and 24mo, with a theoretical gap of almost 4yr next, as I would realllly like to get to the 2yr mark with nursing DD, and I want to have my mercury amalgam fillings replaced before conceiving #4 (Lord willing). They ddon't really recommend that you do that while nursing or pregnant, so that your body doesn't detox into a nursling or developing baby, so IF I were to wait the optimal year after having them removed, that would put us at 3yr9mo gap. Larger than I'd like, but I think it will also allow us optimal time for healing and nutrient replenishment, as we know my body doesn't do the greatest job absorbing nutrients. Plus, ds1 has special needs, and would be, like... almost eight? Seven and a half? Something like that? So it would also be nice to be past the hurdle of kindergarten before the next one pops in.

That said, I have always had a heart for adoption, so there's a part of me that goes all "maybe we could do fost-adopt in the intervening years?" but we are currently a 2br home (which will have to change anyway eventually now that not all of our kiddos are the same gender), so that would involve finishing off the basement first, too. Sooo... we will see.

But Lord willing, we are not done, and we don't have a number in mind. We just need to get my health reined in before the next bio kiddo, that's all.

Sent from my Huawei-U8665 using Tapatalk 2

[daughter_of_faith]

We're not sure where we are as far as our family. There isn't an agreement at this time, but we may be finished.

DS1 and DS2 are almost 8 years apart. Then we have almost 22 mos and just over 24 mos for next sons. None of our gaps were planned.

[Meriby]

My husband and I are both the oldest children from families of 4 -and before we were married we always thought we wanted to have at least that many kids. Then we got married and decided to wait before having any -and we just kept waiting for 5 years!

We had our first child 2 years ago and were surprised to feel like our family was complete and both of us kind of "lost" our desire for big families. I think we both thought you had to have a big family to get the nostalgic busy family life feelings that we both valued growing up. But, we got those feelings with just one.

However, we decided to have another baby so that our daughter could have a sibling since we value our siblings so much. Our new little one will be born this July and the two will spaced 2.5 years apart.

I'm pretty sure that we'll be done after two.

[Tengokujin]

There is a bit over 3/12 yrs. between DS1 and DS2, and when DS3 comes in May there will be an 8 yr gap. .

Planning? In my delirium haze after DS1, I wanted to get pregnant again as soon as medically recommended, in about a year. Alas, I am a poster girl for breastfeeding as birth control. When DS1 was 1 and 2 yrs. old, I was SO GLAD my plans hadn't worked out. DS2 was conceived when my body was ready to conceive, and the spacing was pretty good IMO, still in babyland, but definitely DS1 was starting preschool and doing bigger things.

We had talked about having 3, but after having DS2 we made a big international move and life was very disrupted for a while. WE felt we had passed that "window" of having a third, felt we had moved out of babyland and were solidly into the next chapter. haha. Whoops. It's been a big mental adjustment, because I had really moved on mentally.

[SamRose]

Originally Posted by Tengokujin

There is a bit over 3/12 yrs. between DS1 and DS2, and when DS3 comes in May there will be an 8 yr gap. .

Planning? In my delirium haze after DS1, I wanted to get pregnant again as soon as medically recommended, in about a year. Alas, I am a poster girl for breastfeeding as birth control. When DS1 was 1 and 2 yrs. old, I was SO GLAD my plans hadn't worked out. DS2 was conceived when my body was ready to conceive, and the spacing was pretty good IMO, still in babyland, but definitely DS1 was starting preschool and doing bigger things.

We had talked about having 3, but after having DS2 we made a big international move and life was very disrupted for a while. WE felt we had passed that "window" of having a third, felt we had moved out of babyland and were solidly into the next chapter. haha. Whoops. It's been a big mental adjustment, because I had really moved on mentally.

Did you have to fully wean for fertility to return? I had a friend like that, who wasn't even exclusively nursing and still no cycle until her child weaned around 18 mons.

[bananacake]

Love getting to know you ladies and reading everyones' story!

[Tengokujin]

Originally Posted by SamRose

Did you have to fully wean for fertility to return? I had a friend like that, who wasn't even eclusively nursing and still no cycle until her child weaned around 18 mons.

No, I didn't have to fully wean. DS1 did wean while I was pregnant, which I did not fight. I was cycling but it took a good bit to get pregnant again.