Not showing any emotion on your face? - Page 2

hey mommy · 02-12-2009, 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mcilvainmama

uhhh yeah L&L doesnt teach emotionless faces at all. weird. i know it does a great deal of actually saying that we need to emulate and give real empathy and cmpassion ad not be sarcastic or ungenuine about it. it is really positive. again....not the cure-all but in my extensive reading of L&L books it does a great deal of teaching the importance of compassion, empathy, and positive, non-punitive parenting.

Hmm, must not be L&L that they are following then. I don't know. I'll ask her. I know C's school is very much a L&L school and I love their tecniques.

Maybe they are talking about the parenting class they are having now. It's based on the book Parenting Is A Ministry by Craig Castor. http://www. parentingministry.org/

I read some of it and it's very pro-spanking.. So I don't know if that is it or not.. I really do need to ask.
Okay, I just skimmed through the workbook on this class, and yes, it is from this class.

shirelingmum · 02-12-2009, 02:49 PM

oh man...that totally blows...ick. i'm so sorry! i hope there's maybe a good gentle way you can break it to them that that isn't at all biblical to present emotionless parenting!

hey...at least we know the truth, eh?? i seem to remember someone else here on the board asking about that very curriculum your fellowship is starting. weird that they would do this one after L&L. because Faye/Kline are very anti-spanking. huh...

:/

hey mommy · 02-12-2009, 02:55 PM

Apparently the pastor had nothing to do with it. He hasn't even read the book. I talked to him about it and he said to talk to the guy who was leading the class. I haven't done it yet b/c I've been working in the nursery on the nights the class is going. Apparently the author of the book is going to be there to speak one night. I'd love to pick his brain.. Maybe I should pass out some GBD articles then and see what happens.. teehee

Granola_mom · 02-12-2009, 03:31 PM

Ya, that's not Love and Logic. I'm quite complelled to it. Especially the books regarding schools and discipline with troubled kids.
Nothing I've read ever is about being emotion-less........rather to seek to understand the child and strive to build them up.

Beauty4Ashes · 02-17-2009, 08:25 AM

I have a very expressive face, for better or for worse. My parents though were of the stuff your emotions mindset. It's been hard for me to figure out how to handle my emotions, I'm getting better at it though. Now my boys will say I'm angry/scared/mad. I couldn't do that at age 3-4 yr.

milkmommy · 02-17-2009, 08:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gentlebirth

I think by not showing emotion on your face, you're doing your child a great disservice. You're the safest place your dc has to learn about handling big feelings, and if they can never guess what's going on under the surface, you're teaching them very little by example. Robot parents are scary enigmas.

This I teach my DD to look at the WHOLE picture like we talk about what God would like of us but not just God would like you to listen to your parents but senerios and why. Mommy rushes in and says QUICK get into the car NOW eyes wide open voice loud and commanding... Would we obey? Why? Would we ask questions right then? and we talk about how my voice would sound paniced how my facial expression would be on urgent concern and how it would be appropiate to listen and ask questions latter... or Hey honey get your shoes on and go to the car.. me smiling sing song voice my voice would show joy a playful moment urgency wouldn't be as important so asking where while finding shoes would make sense.. ect we also talk about when her teacher asks or a sitter or a friend. DO there eyes look silly or serious are they asking a good thing or a "bad thing" (hey go put this braclet in your pocket ect) is there voice one of concern do they sound tired and can you help? ect emotions help us interact.

Deanna

bliss · 02-18-2009, 05:23 PM

Those are some really good thoughts, Deanna!

ArmsOfLove · 02-18-2009, 05:47 PM

Quote:

2. B/c when kids look at you while you are talking to them, you want them to listen to your words. If you have a mad face and are saying "I Love you, you need to do such-and-such" then all that sinks in to them is a mad face.

I do believe that it's important to keep our control and not give mixed messages to our children. Learning to control our negative feelings is a sign of maturity. But there is also a value to emphasizing the seriousness of our message with a consistent face and words.

Quote:

1. b/c you are supposed to be representing Jesus to your children. By remaining emotionless, you allow your words to have more impact.

The idea that Jesus is emotionless is heresy imo

hey mommy · 02-18-2009, 06:08 PM

Those are some good thoughts Deanna. My FIL is rather grumpy & abrupt sounding most of the time(okay, all the time), so C has a hard time figuring out if he is joking or not. I wink at C to let him know 'grandpa is just being silly'. I do the same when I'm being silly. I might have a mad look, saying something that sounds mean, but a wink tells him I'm joking.

Not sure if that is relavent.. I'm tired & busy and not thinking straight right now..

02-12-2009, 02:49 PM	#17
shirelingmum Rose Bouquet "My lips will praise You!" Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Pacific Northwest (otherwise known as Middle Earth) Posts: 567	Re: Not showing any emotion on your face? oh man...that totally blows...ick. i'm so sorry! i hope there's maybe a good gentle way you can break it to them that that isn't at all biblical to present emotionless parenting! hey...at least we know the truth, eh?? i seem to remember someone else here on the board asking about that very curriculum your fellowship is starting. weird that they would do this one after L&L. because Faye/Kline are very anti-spanking. huh... :/ __________________ Quirky hobbitwife to her bearded love since 2006 Mummy to 4 hobbitses and one little one born to heaven 9/23/10

02-12-2009, 02:55 PM	#18
hey mommy Rose Garden I am so hopelessly in love.. Join Date: May 2006 Location: Chillin' in the California hills Posts: 24,678	Re: Not showing any emotion on your face? Apparently the pastor had nothing to do with it. He hasn't even read the book. I talked to him about it and he said to talk to the guy who was leading the class. I haven't done it yet b/c I've been working in the nursery on the nights the class is going. Apparently the author of the book is going to be there to speak one night. I'd love to pick his brain.. Maybe I should pass out some GBD articles then and see what happens.. teehee __________________ Janice (ISFP), single-mommy to Cias(11) Samuel( 4) and 2 babies in heaven Scully: You know, there is life on this planet. Mulder: I've seen the life on this planet, Scully, that's why I'm looking elsewhere. A Check out my NEW facebook page. I am now a Plexus Ambassador.

02-12-2009, 03:31 PM	#19
Granola_mom Rose Trellis Just me :o) Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Phoenix, AZ. Quite possibly the hottest place in the universe, beside the sun of-course.. Posts: 1,895	Re: Not showing any emotion on your face? Ya, that's not Love and Logic. I'm quite complelled to it. Especially the books regarding schools and discipline with troubled kids. Nothing I've read ever is about being emotion-less........rather to seek to understand the child and strive to build them up. __________________ ~~Tori~~ Wife to my dreamy hunka man. 16yrs!!!!, Momma to my 15yr old athlete Momma to my 10yr old little snuggle bug Momma to my 4 year old little thinker!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ doesn't mean I don't get angry. I just try my best to treat my boys the way I would like to be treated, with love and respect.

02-17-2009, 08:25 AM	#20
Beauty4Ashes Rose Garden Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 13,095	Re: Not showing any emotion on your face? I have a very expressive face, for better or for worse. My parents though were of the stuff your emotions mindset. It's been hard for me to figure out how to handle my emotions, I'm getting better at it though. Now my boys will say I'm angry/scared/mad. I couldn't do that at age 3-4 yr. __________________ Tammy--ISTJ wife to AbuBa(6/2001) mom to B (6/2004) D (6/2005) L 4/2008 R 9/2015 Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that they might be glorified.

02-18-2009, 05:23 PM	#22
bliss Rose Garden NEUROSPICY! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Other worlds than these Posts: 13,430	Re: Not showing any emotion on your face? Those are some really good thoughts, Deanna! __________________ Me, The Surveyor, The Truck Driver, The Landscaper, The SAHM, The Grocery Manager, The Gamer, The Gardener, The Home Improvement Manager, and The Grandkids

02-18-2009, 06:08 PM	#24
hey mommy Rose Garden I am so hopelessly in love.. Join Date: May 2006 Location: Chillin' in the California hills Posts: 24,678	Re: Not showing any emotion on your face? Those are some good thoughts Deanna. My FIL is rather grumpy & abrupt sounding most of the time(okay, all the time), so C has a hard time figuring out if he is joking or not. I wink at C to let him know 'grandpa is just being silly'. I do the same when I'm being silly. I might have a mad look, saying something that sounds mean, but a wink tells him I'm joking. Not sure if that is relavent.. I'm tired & busy and not thinking straight right now.. __________________ Janice (ISFP), single-mommy to Cias(11) Samuel( 4) and 2 babies in heaven Scully: You know, there is life on this planet. Mulder: I've seen the life on this planet, Scully, that's why I'm looking elsewhere. A Check out my NEW facebook page. I am now a Plexus Ambassador.

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