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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 07-25-2010, 08:19 AM   #1
ClassicMom
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Default Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

I heard a comment in church today (by a member...not over the pulpit) about a child's crying for food being indicative of a sinful nature. Wonder if he'd think an adult going to the refrigerator when he's hungry, is proof of a sinful heart.

Are there any denominations or large church groups that actively promote gentle parenting? My church doesn't usually promote harsh parenting, but neither does it actively refute it or offer a lot of grace-based teaching.
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Old 07-25-2010, 08:27 AM   #2
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

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Old 07-25-2010, 08:28 AM   #3
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

This question comes up a lot (but is always a good question!) and I think that the general consensus is that it really varies from church to church more than denomination to denomination. I think one of the keys that you can look at is how a denomination handles the issue of human feelings. If human feelings are considered sinful as a rule and something to be subjugated and controlled (i.e. 'happy is the only acceptable emotion) then that probably ISN'T going to be a grace based oriented denomination.

I think you'd have the best luck in a demonimation that acknowledges that all need grace and that life is a process of falling and helping each other up.
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Old 07-25-2010, 08:49 AM   #4
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

The United Methodist Church has taken a stance against corporal punishment. They are the only protestants that I know with that kind if stance. It is not a perfect statement, but a big step in the right direction:
http://www.umc-gbcs.org/site/apps/nl...243&ct=8534005
http://www.nospank.net/swan.htm

Several Catholic churches have made a similar statement
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Old 07-25-2010, 09:01 AM   #5
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

more liberal, liturgical denominations (ones that include/expect babies in worship) like the ELCA and PCUSA.
I've been to Grace Based parenting classes at both ELCA churches & LCMS churches
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Old 07-25-2010, 09:10 AM   #6
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

Yes, my neighbors are ELCA pastors, and they are horrified at the thought of punitive parenting being taught in church.
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Old 07-25-2010, 09:38 AM   #7
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

I attend an LCMS (Lutheran Church Missouri Synod) church, and while I don't think they take a stand on corporal punishment, their publishing house prints a series of pamphlets for new parents at different stages of their child's life. The infant pamphlet promotes responsive parenting--meeting needs as they arise. The toddler pamphlet encourages parents to see the "no" stage as a sign of developing independence, not as a sinful afront to authority. I think these are hopeful signs. Of course, the parenting climate will vary from congregation to congregation. Babies are welcome in our services, and our pastor suggests that families with small children sit up front so the kids can see what is going on.
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Old 07-25-2010, 09:10 AM   #8
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

Our Vineyard church would never endorse or have Pearl/Ezzo classes and promote it and are big on grace for adults and children but hasnt taken a stand about corporal punishment either.In all the years I have been associated with this denom. I have not ever heard that a child needed to be spanked or quiet during worship (if a baby or toddler cries they usually take them out for a little while) and the kids feel free to kind of run and dance and wander around even during the message
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Old 07-28-2010, 12:23 PM   #9
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

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Originally Posted by mamacat View Post
Our Vineyard church would never endorse or have Pearl/Ezzo classes and promote it and are big on grace for adults and children but hasnt taken a stand about corporal punishment either.In all the years I have been associated with this denom. I have not ever heard that a child needed to be spanked or quiet during worship (if a baby or toddler cries they usually take them out for a little while) and the kids feel free to kind of run and dance and wander around even during the message
That's kinda funny because I was first exposed to Ezzo and the Pearls rampantly in practice through my MOPs group which was at a Vineyard church that held Ezzo classes.

---------- Post added at 01:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:16 PM ----------

We also attend a Lutheran-Missouri Synod church and have viewed GBD as the norm in theological terms. I have never heard anyone within the church advocating for anything but that, and all the Concordia Publishing House publishings that I have ever read are in support of GBD. They make an insert for bulletins called "Good News for Families" that our last congregation used that is very GBD across all ages and situations. I have encountered the few parents w/in our churches who do spank, but
they are not out promoting it as the church's way, just using it as their own way of raising their children. Since all our pastors take both greek and hebrew in seminary and most devote quite a bit of time to study of scripture and generally review any materials used in bible studies and such, it would really really shock me if anything like Ezzo or another misinterpretation of scripture would enter the scene in an LCMS church, and in fact could lead to church discipline for choosing such misleading materials.
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Old 08-03-2010, 04:14 AM   #10
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Punkie View Post
The United Methodist Church has taken a stance against corporal punishment. They are the only protestants that I know with that kind if stance. It is not a perfect statement, but a big step in the right direction:
http://www.umc-gbcs.org/site/apps/nl...243&ct=8534005
http://www.nospank.net/swan.htm

Several Catholic churches have made a similar statement
That alone makes me want to change churches...
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Old 08-03-2010, 06:52 AM   #11
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting


I think we might try Lutheran churches. We have been very unhappy at our SBC. no grace there AT ALL.
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Old 08-03-2010, 08:51 AM   #12
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

We go to the Church of Christ, and they preach grace and forgiveness and love, but apparently only for adults. The kids have very nice sunday school classes and bible hour classes, but I've been very nervous about leaving my children in the care of people who think it's okay to hit children. Not that I think they would, but it's just that mindset, you know? I haven't been to church in over 2 months. Lately because I've been sick, but mostly because I just don't know if I even want to go to this church anymore. Thankfully they don't teach Pearl, but they do teach Dobson. I have also talked to several members and they are all pro spanking. It just makes me very uneasy. And there is NO way my husband would ever go to a different church. So we're kinda stuck there
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Old 08-05-2010, 08:54 AM   #13
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

We're Anglican (Episcopalian). My favorite homily/sermon a couple of years ago started off with the definition of discipline - that it means to disciple, or to teach, not punish. Our childrens' Sunday Paper has a note to parents on the back on how to talk about that week's Gospel Lesson and if it's about discipline, or behavior, it supports GBD. I love my church.
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Old 08-30-2010, 12:23 AM   #14
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Default Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting

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We go to the Church of Christ, and they preach grace and forgiveness and love, but apparently only for adults. The kids have very nice sunday school classes and bible hour classes, but I've been very nervous about leaving my children in the care of people who think it's okay to hit children. Not that I think they would, but it's just that mindset, you know? I haven't been to church in over 2 months. Lately because I've been sick, but mostly because I just don't know if I even want to go to this church anymore. Thankfully they don't teach Pearl, but they do teach Dobson. I have also talked to several members and they are all pro spanking. It just makes me very uneasy. And there is NO way my husband would ever go to a different church. So we're kinda stuck there
Oh man, I feel the same way as the bolded, except that we attend an NABC. We have a mom at our church who passes out TTUAC like it's candy AND the pastor and his wife use it. But DH absolutely would not entertain a discussion of us changing churches. I love everything about our church except that the Pearls seem to be infiltrating it.
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