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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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07-25-2010, 08:19 AM | #1 |
Rose Blossom
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Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
I heard a comment in church today (by a member...not over the pulpit) about a child's crying for food being indicative of a sinful nature. Wonder if he'd think an adult going to the refrigerator when he's hungry, is proof of a sinful heart.
Are there any denominations or large church groups that actively promote gentle parenting? My church doesn't usually promote harsh parenting, but neither does it actively refute it or offer a lot of grace-based teaching.
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ClassicMom Last edited by ClassicMom; 07-25-2010 at 08:22 AM. |
07-25-2010, 08:27 AM | #2 |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
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07-25-2010, 08:28 AM | #3 |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
This question comes up a lot (but is always a good question!) and I think that the general consensus is that it really varies from church to church more than denomination to denomination. I think one of the keys that you can look at is how a denomination handles the issue of human feelings. If human feelings are considered sinful as a rule and something to be subjugated and controlled (i.e. 'happy is the only acceptable emotion) then that probably ISN'T going to be a grace based oriented denomination.
I think you'd have the best luck in a demonimation that acknowledges that all need grace and that life is a process of falling and helping each other up. |
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07-25-2010, 08:49 AM | #4 |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
The United Methodist Church has taken a stance against corporal punishment. They are the only protestants that I know with that kind if stance. It is not a perfect statement, but a big step in the right direction:
http://www.umc-gbcs.org/site/apps/nl...243&ct=8534005 http://www.nospank.net/swan.htm Several Catholic churches have made a similar statement
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07-25-2010, 09:01 AM | #5 |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
more liberal, liturgical denominations (ones that include/expect babies in worship) like the ELCA and PCUSA.
I've been to Grace Based parenting classes at both ELCA churches & LCMS churches |
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07-25-2010, 09:10 AM | #6 |
Rose Garden
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
Our Vineyard church would never endorse or have Pearl/Ezzo classes and promote it and are big on grace for adults and children but hasnt taken a stand about corporal punishment either.In all the years I have been associated with this denom. I have not ever heard that a child needed to be spanked or quiet during worship (if a baby or toddler cries they usually take them out for a little while) and the kids feel free to kind of run and dance and wander around even during the message
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07-25-2010, 09:10 AM | #7 |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
Yes, my neighbors are ELCA pastors, and they are horrified at the thought of punitive parenting being taught in church.
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07-25-2010, 09:38 AM | #8 |
Rose Trellis
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
I attend an LCMS (Lutheran Church Missouri Synod) church, and while I don't think they take a stand on corporal punishment, their publishing house prints a series of pamphlets for new parents at different stages of their child's life. The infant pamphlet promotes responsive parenting--meeting needs as they arise. The toddler pamphlet encourages parents to see the "no" stage as a sign of developing independence, not as a sinful afront to authority. I think these are hopeful signs. Of course, the parenting climate will vary from congregation to congregation. Babies are welcome in our services, and our pastor suggests that families with small children sit up front so the kids can see what is going on.
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07-25-2010, 12:36 PM | #9 |
Rose Trellis
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
Can you tell me what ELCA stands for?
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07-25-2010, 01:12 PM | #10 |
Rose Garden
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America
---------- Post added at 03:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:38 PM ---------- Grace-based parenting fits in *perfectly* with Lutheran doctrine - it's actually how I got my dh on board with GBD in the first place. He went from mainstream punitive to GBD through discussions of the underlying theology, and is just as against punitive Christian teachers as I am (they invariably distort the Gospel in their attempts to justify their position). But, alas, while GBD is a great practical outworking of Lutheran theology - and certainly Lutheran pastors aren't preaching "Thou shalt spank" sermons - my experience as a life-long Lutheran (LCMS) is that we largely match the larger culture wrt to most culture-driven beliefs/traits (as opposed to having a deliberate counter-culture). And that, ime, has meant mainstream punitive, along with a general sense of approval of Dobson , which largely reflects the larger culture of the places in which I've lived. There seems to be this huge disconnect, where Lutherans preach grace so very, very well, but then just adopt the default Christian and/or conservative method of discipline, and *never* *ever* realize that the latter contradicts the former . However, the grace-filled Lutheran theology has, ime, moderated greatly the actual practice of child-rearing. To hear my parents talk, they are straight up adversarial Dobson fans. But they actually pretty much GBD'd us . While I am in the minority at my church with GBD, no one looks down on me for it, and everyone agrees (to my face, at least) that it is a legitimate approach, even if they don't believe it to be the best approach, and I rarely see examples of punitive parenting at church, whatever their stated philosophy.
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07-25-2010, 05:18 PM | #11 |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
I our experience the Eastern Orthodox church has been very graceful towards children. I also really like that there is no nursery, and all the little old ladies smile when my kids act like children. :melt
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07-25-2010, 05:35 PM | #12 |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
*Our* Vineyard is all about graced based parenting - but that's because DH & I are! But we've always made it very clear that we're opposed to corporal punishments - to the point that I had a mom (who does spank, the only one in our little fellowship) tell her DS the other day "Please behave, you know Miss Heather doesn't want me to spank you around her - it makes her very upset!"
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07-25-2010, 06:14 PM | #13 | |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
Quote:
Last edited by AmyDoll; 07-25-2010 at 06:15 PM. Reason: oops - gender error! |
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07-25-2010, 06:33 PM | #14 |
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
The A/G church generally follows the Dobson line of thought.
Thankfully,that is rarely if ever a part of my churh experience The emphasis on grace is dominant,but the application to children has not stretched to publicly denounce punitive parenting. I love how the pastor soothes the little ones from the pulpit or makes a little joke so the parent is not as embarrassed. A/G is Assembly of God,a Pentecostal denom. |
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07-28-2010, 12:23 PM | #15 | |
Rose Trellis
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Re: Churches or denominations that promote Grace-based Parenting
Quote:
---------- Post added at 01:23 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:16 PM ---------- We also attend a Lutheran-Missouri Synod church and have viewed GBD as the norm in theological terms. I have never heard anyone within the church advocating for anything but that, and all the Concordia Publishing House publishings that I have ever read are in support of GBD. They make an insert for bulletins called "Good News for Families" that our last congregation used that is very GBD across all ages and situations. I have encountered the few parents w/in our churches who do spank, but they are not out promoting it as the church's way, just using it as their own way of raising their children. Since all our pastors take both greek and hebrew in seminary and most devote quite a bit of time to study of scripture and generally review any materials used in bible studies and such, it would really really shock me if anything like Ezzo or another misinterpretation of scripture would enter the scene in an LCMS church, and in fact could lead to church discipline for choosing such misleading materials.
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