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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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07-21-2006, 09:30 AM | #1 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 24,062
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Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
I went to get Families Where Grace is in Place, and they didn't have it so I put it on order. Don't know if I'm going to go back, though.
They DID have Babywise II, Toddlerwise and SACH. I plan to write a letter, and I'm finding the resources sticky helpful. The problem is, I would like to put my full married name on the letter and Dh is against this. His family owned a Christian bookstore for many years that was in competition with this particular store (also a family owned store although now it is predominant and well respected in the area) and there are apparently some hurt feelings. Dh's family store recently closed, which for me makes this a non-issue. Dh said a letter would be immediately dismissed, a waste of paper to put my name on it. I said, it might be anyway...and I feel like I'm hiding or embarrassed if I use my maiden name or no name at all. If I have a concern, as a customer from eons back (before I was even old enough to date) I should be able to express my concerns in a loving manner. Sadly, I don't know anyone in our area who would be as discouraged by this as I am, who would write to them. I suppose this is a vent more than anything. Why would a Christian Bible Bookstore stock this? I can only assume 1) they have no idea what it's about or how contraversial it is (seems pretty unlikely) or 2) they know what it's about and they either agree or disagree, but they really don't care...as long as it makes $$$$ I am naive, I am silly to think that grace could be valued above profit.
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Mom of 3
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07-21-2006, 02:50 PM | #2 |
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
Ya know, I think I would just go in and talk to them. Get the manager and just share some concerns with him/her. While it would be nice to have them stop carrying it the real goal IMHO is to at least get them to think before they recommend it. That, to me, is the real problem wit these books in bookstores. If the staff is clueless about the problems but hear glowing reviews from the moms who are totally committed to it, what are they going to recommend when desparate-mom-of-a-newborn or wants-to-know-everything-pregnant mom comes in asking for a book about babies. I think the personal contact of a mom who just says, "Hey there are problems with this book that you might want to be aware of" carries more weight than a letter that may or may not be read.
Magan |
07-22-2006, 02:47 AM | #3 |
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
I agree with Magan. I think I would go in and have a conversation. You might recommend some other books they could carry that have a more positive message.
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07-22-2006, 06:52 AM | #4 | |
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 34,565
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
Quote:
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Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19 |
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07-22-2006, 08:34 AM | #5 |
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,796
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
Something to suggest (which was done one of the Christian stores where I worked when I was a teen) is that while you know they have customers who will still want these materials--at least don't keep them stocked and provide them only upon special order. Or, keep the copies they have in the backroom until someone requests them.
Christian bookstores usually can't screen out all the "bad" or questionable books and theology. But the things that are not edifying, they CAN avoid promoting. |
08-06-2006, 06:20 AM | #6 |
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,796
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
I've become friendly with our local Christian bookstore manager. I warned him about BW and gave him the ezzo.info address. He researched it, printed scads of information up, and removed it from the shelf! (But the owner reversed that decision. . . Still, I have the manager informed, and he's the type to give a caution to anyone who purchases it. . .)
BW / Ezzo is popular in our area. So, I'm not surprised that the owner doesn't want to remove it from his shelves. |
08-07-2006, 03:48 AM | #7 |
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
Good morning all! This is my first post, I finally figured out how to do it . I guess if it were me, I would go in with a book list and speak to the manager. I don't know where you live, but here all most of the Christians I know feel that punitive punishment is the only biblical method of discipline! So in our Christian Bookstore, those are the only books you find. In fact, as I write this I think maybe I will go down to the bookstore with a list myself! Emma
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08-09-2006, 04:04 PM | #8 | |
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Beware the gorgon, she's having a bad hair day
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: DFW area
Posts: 54,024
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
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08-09-2006, 07:48 PM | #9 | |
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 34,565
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
Quote:
__________________
Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19 |
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08-10-2006, 04:21 AM | #10 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 24,062
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
I've decided to go in and personally say something. You are all right, this should be done in person.
Do you think I should have something on paper to show them? I'm concerned that I'll start fumbling around once I get there, especially if I have the boys in tow although I might try to find someone to watch them. I am trying to assume some positive intent, and I'm telling myself maybe they just don't know. I'm definately getting more and more disturbed; I just found out this bookstore is where my BWing friends got their copy....as well as a number of young parents from their church who were recommending it.
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Mom of 3
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08-10-2006, 11:46 AM | #11 |
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 34,565
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
Are they selling BW or Prep?
I would go to Ezzo.info and print off some articles specifically targeting scriptural and character issues. Prepare what you want to say, but give them something to chew on later. Definitely reference Ezzo.info so they can do their own reading.
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Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19 |
08-10-2006, 01:18 PM | #12 |
Rose Blossom
God shows me... Life is Delicious!
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 294
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
More than hating that bookstores sell Ezzo & other punitive material - I hate that some churches offer his classes/training!
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Tina.....Wife to my Bestfriend and Soulmate...Daniel Blessed Mama to Rebecca (3/04) and Joseph (6/07) God shows me....Life is Delicious! |
08-10-2006, 04:40 PM | #13 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 5,796
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
I think I'd go in with a plan. Perhaps something like:
1. Bring the books to the manager along with info about the church discipline/questionable hermenuetic concerns printed out. I've also brought up that I am aware BW is *very* popular in this area, but that I know several babies in our area who have had growth problems, been dx'd FTT or hospitalized. (Like our son was dx'd FTT. . .) 2. Acknowledge that you understand that he may not want to "censor" books with an appeal in the Christian community, but with the questionable medical information/credibility issues, he may want to consider not keeping the books on the shelves, but keeping them in the back for when parents specificly request them. When they are sold not to restock them (available through special order only.) 3. If he's not amenable to that, suggest having a flyer or warning tucked in the books. For example this, this or this. Just some ideas. . . |
08-11-2006, 12:54 PM | #14 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,042
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Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore
I completely agree with what the other ladies said. They gave really great advice. I wanted to wish you luck. I would definitely suggest some GBD books as an alternative to the ones they have.
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Wife to Loving DH since 8/18/96 Mama to DD-Kayda 14 DD-Chickadee 12-Juv. Type 1 Diabetes & Hypothyroid DS-Poozle 8-Learning to live with JRA & SPD DS-QBear 12- Autistic Pre-adoptive DS-C 11- ADHD A person's a person, no matter how small. Dr. Suess |
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