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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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03-18-2006, 06:49 AM | #121 |
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Yeah, it's winter here ...
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
And I know they have used the word "whippings" more than once, and have advocated repeat punishments if they try to run away or continue crying after the initial switching/spanking/whipping.
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03-18-2006, 07:08 AM | #122 | |||||
Rose Garden
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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Another thing that just sends off alarm bells that is mentioned in the article that the Pearls say--not to hit your kids in public or in front of others. If I had to hide the way I discipline then it is clear to me that my disciplining method is NOT okay. That is just scary. Quote:
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Sharon Married to Noah for 15 years; Mom to Belle Renee, 12; Ryllan Connor, 9; Finn Gabriel, 6; and Zane Sebastian, 2.
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03-18-2006, 07:10 AM | #123 |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
No Greater Joy, vol.2, pg 49-51 offers an extremely detailed account of stopping the car every 2-5 min. to spank a whining 2 or 3yr old boy. The reason for this discipline was that "late one night" the child wanted out of his carseat and repeated requests finally melted down into "brokenhearted crying." (MP's words in quotes) Pearl poo-poos the mother for considering that her child might be hungry, tired, or cold.
MP was riding in the car with the father and advised him to COMMAND the boy to stop crying, which the distraught child (MP calls him a brat) did not do. After each spanking, they resumed driving and the child was told to stop crying and spanked when he did not. "I told the Father to stop the car and without recourse give him three to five licks with a switch.... the child only screamed a louder protest. At my instruction, without further rebuke, the father again stopped the car and spanked the child. Still screaming, we continued for two minutes until the father again commanded the child to be quiet. Again, no response, so the car was again stopped and the child spanked. This was repeated for about twenty miles down a lonesome highway at 11:00 on a winter night." Titus, you seem to be suggesting that a family could follow the Pearl's teaching without being abusive if they would only use common sense or "tailor" it to fit their needs. I must disagree with you. A family would need to flatly REJECT and diverge from teachings/examples like the one I cited above in order to avoid abuse. (and there are other equally icky examples that could be listed... this one does not stand alone) I firmly believe there is NO WAY a family could follow the spirit or example of the Pearl's advice without becoming abusive. After all, the examples are given for the sole purpose of illustrating the concepts he's trying to teach. If we follow the concepts, but "tailor" them to our own situations, we will simply be creating "tailored" versions of abusing our own kids. Strong words, I know. My wish is not to offend, but to speak plainly. I admit with horror that I mistreated my child when I was deceived by the advice of MP. No, I didn't smother him with a blanket, or beat him until he limped, or leave bruises on him, but I mistreated him all the same. I refuse to justify what I did by saying that it wasn't nearly as extreme as what someone else did. I refuse to put myself on a higher plane than Lynn Paddock. It is by God's mercy and grace alone that my heart was softened, my eyes were opened, and I was led to a different place. I see this thread turning into a discussion/debate of the Pearl's methodology. If anyone wishes to continue that, please post in Intense Fellowship. Other comments about the newsstory itself or posting letters you have written is fine. |
03-18-2006, 08:02 AM | #124 | |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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03-18-2006, 09:24 AM | #125 |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
I sent a letter to the reporter. Just wanted Quiltin'Grandma to know.
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03-18-2006, 12:05 PM | #126 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nyssa, Oregon (southeastern part of the state)
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
Great ! Thanks to Lisa for the name of Dobson's book of him telling the dog story. (I really burn when I hear/see stories about animal cruelty. I should have written a loooooong time ago.
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wife for 40 years to dear hubby-pastor and retired Navy chaplain mom to DS & DD (Amber) now grown, to Dixie Lee, a 3 yr old French Brittany, Magnolia (Maggie), 4 month old French Brittany and gramma to 4 wonderful grandBOYS and 1 foster granddaughter |
03-18-2006, 06:39 PM | #127 |
Rose Garden
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
I honestly don't know how far it would have gone if I had continued with the Pearl teachings and ignored my heart. I saw that the spankings would have to be much harder and much longer if I was going to try to live up to the Pearl ideal. Like someone said in a different thread, you have to keep "upgrading" your spanking implement because the child hardens himself when he sees no other way out. The "little sting" becomes ineffective, and so you have to find something more painful to get him to behave.
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03-18-2006, 08:08 PM | #128 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Oct 2005
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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Sharon Married to Noah for 15 years; Mom to Belle Renee, 12; Ryllan Connor, 9; Finn Gabriel, 6; and Zane Sebastian, 2.
Custom Photo Cards. PM me for details! |
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03-18-2006, 08:58 PM | #129 |
Rose Garden
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Location: Nyssa, Oregon (southeastern part of the state)
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
Yes, I forgot to say that....but I meant too.
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wife for 40 years to dear hubby-pastor and retired Navy chaplain mom to DS & DD (Amber) now grown, to Dixie Lee, a 3 yr old French Brittany, Magnolia (Maggie), 4 month old French Brittany and gramma to 4 wonderful grandBOYS and 1 foster granddaughter |
03-19-2006, 04:00 PM | #130 | ||
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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Jenn |
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03-19-2006, 04:46 PM | #131 | |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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03-19-2006, 05:07 PM | #132 |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
I just want to publicly thank Jen for being nice to me
I'm sort of feeling like crap and needed a kind word. db |
03-19-2006, 09:25 PM | #133 | |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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Tasha Married to Jeffery (16 years) gently mothering, unschooling/relaxed homeschooling, WAHM, schooled in Sociology (FSU) Abby (15) Lexi (15) Loralai (13) Noah (11) |
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03-19-2006, 09:38 PM | #134 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Orlando, FL area
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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__________________
Tasha Married to Jeffery (16 years) gently mothering, unschooling/relaxed homeschooling, WAHM, schooled in Sociology (FSU) Abby (15) Lexi (15) Loralai (13) Noah (11) |
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03-19-2006, 10:40 PM | #135 | ||||
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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