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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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03-17-2006, 03:08 PM | #91 | |||
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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I understand what you're saying, though, Sara, and it occurred to me as well. I did not read this at all like you were defending them, btw... just pointing out that from a purely objective/legal POV, Sean's death might not be directly related to the Pearls' advice, since they don't advocate blanket wrapping as a punishment and they can easily defend themselves with the passages in their books that supposedly "define" for parents how to discipline without being abusive. :/ This is exactly why the problem IS the paradigm. They--and many others--teach an overall philosophy that is abusive by nature in its purest form... The abuse may or may not be obvious in each detail, but if it (the paradigm) is followed through to its natural conclusion, the abuse becomes obvious. Quote:
Mamas, Straw-man bashing is against board rules. We are all shocked and grieved by this senseless death, and it is natural for us to seek someone to hold accountable. While we are being forthright and outspoken about the violence in the Pearls' teachings, let's be sure our posts reflect the grace that we are striving to walk in. None of us is above reprehensible sin, and none of us are too far gone to be reached by God's grace, should He see fit to extend it... including Michael Pearl and the mothers out there who have followed his teachings in error. May God allow this terrible tragedy to further His greater purpose |
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03-17-2006, 03:22 PM | #92 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Mar 2005
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
Thank you, Palil. I'm bowing out now, and looking forward to hearing more about QG's pamphlets, and getting some Tshirts from Rebecca.
The shock and personal feelings that came out of this story are subsiding now, and I think it is time for me to just hug my babies and spend more time on my knees for everyone deceived, including the Pearls themselves.
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Amy ~ Mike\'s wife and homeschooling mama of 4 boys |
03-17-2006, 03:26 PM | #93 | ||||||
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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Deanna
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven. |
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03-17-2006, 03:49 PM | #94 | |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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~ Jeri Vegan mom to my vegan kiddos DD1 (24), DS1 (21), DD2 (18), and DS2 (15) And wife to my gentle DH for 26 years and counting Instagram: gentleveganrunner gentlechristianmothers |
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03-17-2006, 04:01 PM | #95 | |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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* Use a section of 1/4" plumbers supply line for spankings * That it will fit into your purse or around your neck * That you can buy it for $1.00 or less at Home Depot or any other store of this kind * That you get a better deal by purchasing them by the dozen * That they can be distributed in every room of your home and you can keep one in each of your vehicles So no, it is not just their article, and the article was quoting what they found at NGJ, which is owned and operated by the Pearls. |
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03-17-2006, 04:18 PM | #96 |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
I just got to this. Sigh. . . . Wow.
Another way of spreading the good word of God's grace in a very, very small way is to check out my former student's blog (mraab is a member here) and add your two cents': http://monicaraab.blogspot.com/ Her March 16th post includes this. And a few of my former students are talking about it. . . . I started, but well. . . . I'm not the total expert and right now I'm not real clear, yk? I would appreciate your help. for God to stop this. C |
03-17-2006, 04:27 PM | #97 | ||
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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i think this mom is definitely using the pearls as a cop out. she's thinking if she says 'oh it isn't my fault it's all b/c of this book i read." she'll be in not as much trouble. While i don't agree with all the Pearl's methods, i really don't think they are responsible here. The woman's child died by suffocation from being wrapped in blankets too tightly. this sounds like some sort of Re Attachment therapy, kind of like 'holding therapy' gone awry. at home momma |
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03-17-2006, 04:50 PM | #98 | |||
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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Deanna
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven. |
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03-17-2006, 05:00 PM | #99 | |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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I do apologize if I've been straw man bashing. I *am* attaching blame, though, and I freely admit that. I'm attaching blame to the Pearls. To the Ezzos. To Dobson. To all the people who proclaim themselves experts and then promote violence in the name of God. To whoever made the decision to allow the adoption of Sean to go through, even after seeing the marks of violence on him. To a system that's so messed up that willing and qualified bio families can't keep their relatives. To the culture we live in that accepts violence toward children as being something they deserve, or asked for , or had coming. There's plenty of blame to go around If my words have been less than gracious, I'm sorry. (At least I didn't call him a Twinkie twerp, or a brat, or a monster, or a little dictator, or a bundle of defiance ) And I've been clear about this in the past, and will be clear about it here again : I in no way hold it against any mother here who has spanked her dc in the past. I'm in that category myself I have friends who spank. I have family members who spank. And it breaks my heart, and I pray for them, and I do my best to be an example of GBD toward them. However, I think by virtue of their status in the public eye, people like the Pearls are inviting public scrutiny. No, I don't know them personally. But I do know personally the fruits of their ministry, and they aren't the fruits of the Spirit. I don't want to see them boiled in oil or even see the same pain inflicted on them that they have caused (directly or indirectly) to be inflicted on children. I do want them to run headlong into Grace. |
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03-17-2006, 05:12 PM | #100 | |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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Legally, I hope a link can be proven. I pray it can. Not because I'm wishing trouble on the Pearls, but because maybe then they will be made to stop instigating a violent paradigm. And I'm not sure how they can easily defend against charges of abuse when they mention things like hosing off a toddler, naked, in the yard - because he was 'enjoying' the 'loving attention' of his mother during diaper changes. That in and of itself is abusive, as is so much more. Our society has allowed teaching like that to hide behind a cloak of religious liberty for far too long. And as non-interventionist as I'd like our government to be - well....I don't see any women complaining that our rights were violated by the domestic violence laws. I don't see any persons of color wishing for a return to the pre-civil rights era. I'd love to see the evil satan intended with this senseless death turned to the good of protecting our most vulnerable fellow human beings |
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03-17-2006, 06:26 PM | #101 |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
Rebecca!
The other thing that I would like to see come out of this is to eliminate the perception that Christian = punitive/corporal punishment parenting (and even stronger stereotype if it is Christian + Homeschooling = punitive/corporal punishment parenting). This type of tragedy and the soundbite media attention it gains only contributes to this incorrect stereotype. |
03-17-2006, 06:30 PM | #102 | ||
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
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Deanna
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven. |
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03-17-2006, 06:33 PM | #103 |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
This story is heartbreaking.
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03-17-2006, 07:15 PM | #104 | |
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03-17-2006, 08:13 PM | #105 |
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Re: Death linked to Pearls' advice--sensitive
No words, no words. I could've been that mama too, several years ago. |
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