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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 07-21-2006, 09:30 AM   #1
HomeWithMyBabies
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Default Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

I went to get Families Where Grace is in Place, and they didn't have it so I put it on order. Don't know if I'm going to go back, though.

They DID have Babywise II, Toddlerwise and SACH. I plan to write a letter, and I'm finding the resources sticky helpful.

The problem is, I would like to put my full married name on the letter and Dh is against this. His family owned a Christian bookstore for many years that was in competition with this particular store (also a family owned store although now it is predominant and well respected in the area) and there are apparently some hurt feelings. Dh's family store recently closed, which for me makes this a non-issue. Dh said a letter would be immediately dismissed, a waste of paper to put my name on it. I said, it might be anyway...and I feel like I'm hiding or embarrassed if I use my maiden name or no name at all. If I have a concern, as a customer from eons back (before I was even old enough to date) I should be able to express my concerns in a loving manner.

Sadly, I don't know anyone in our area who would be as discouraged by this as I am, who would write to them.

I suppose this is a vent more than anything. Why would a Christian Bible Bookstore stock this? I can only assume 1) they have no idea what it's about or how contraversial it is (seems pretty unlikely) or 2) they know what it's about and they either agree or disagree, but they really don't care...as long as it makes $$$$

I am naive, I am silly to think that grace could be valued above profit.
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Old 07-21-2006, 02:50 PM   #2
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

Ya know, I think I would just go in and talk to them. Get the manager and just share some concerns with him/her. While it would be nice to have them stop carrying it the real goal IMHO is to at least get them to think before they recommend it. That, to me, is the real problem wit these books in bookstores. If the staff is clueless about the problems but hear glowing reviews from the moms who are totally committed to it, what are they going to recommend when desparate-mom-of-a-newborn or wants-to-know-everything-pregnant mom comes in asking for a book about babies. I think the personal contact of a mom who just says, "Hey there are problems with this book that you might want to be aware of" carries more weight than a letter that may or may not be read.

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Old 07-22-2006, 02:47 AM   #3
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

I agree with Magan. I think I would go in and have a conversation. You might recommend some other books they could carry that have a more positive message.
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Old 07-22-2006, 06:52 AM   #4
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

Quote:
I think the personal contact of a mom who just says, "Hey there are problems with this book that you might want to be aware of" carries more weight than a letter that may or may not be read.
I agree. I spoke to a manager at a Best Buy one night and had the joy of watching the Ezzo books being removed from the shelf when I wandered back around that way later on (waiting for dh to make up his mind about something!).
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Old 07-22-2006, 08:34 AM   #5
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

Something to suggest (which was done one of the Christian stores where I worked when I was a teen) is that while you know they have customers who will still want these materials--at least don't keep them stocked and provide them only upon special order. Or, keep the copies they have in the backroom until someone requests them.

Christian bookstores usually can't screen out all the "bad" or questionable books and theology. But the things that are not edifying, they CAN avoid promoting.

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Old 08-06-2006, 06:20 AM   #6
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

I've become friendly with our local Christian bookstore manager. I warned him about BW and gave him the ezzo.info address. He researched it, printed scads of information up, and removed it from the shelf! (But the owner reversed that decision. . . Still, I have the manager informed, and he's the type to give a caution to anyone who purchases it. . .)

BW / Ezzo is popular in our area. So, I'm not surprised that the owner doesn't want to remove it from his shelves.
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Old 08-07-2006, 03:48 AM   #7
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

Good morning all! This is my first post, I finally figured out how to do it . I guess if it were me, I would go in with a book list and speak to the manager. I don't know where you live, but here all most of the Christians I know feel that punitive punishment is the only biblical method of discipline! So in our Christian Bookstore, those are the only books you find. In fact, as I write this I think maybe I will go down to the bookstore with a list myself! Emma
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Old 08-09-2006, 04:04 PM   #8
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

Quote:
I spoke to a manager at a Best Buy one night and had the joy of watching the Ezzo books being removed from the shelf when I wandered back around that way later on
Best Buy sells books? Or is it a different Best Buy than the electronics superstore? Just want to be aware when we shop there- it is dh's favorite place to go.
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Old 08-09-2006, 07:48 PM   #9
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

Quote:
Best Buy sells books?
Yap, they do at the one in our town.
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Old 08-10-2006, 04:21 AM   #10
HomeWithMyBabies
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

I've decided to go in and personally say something. You are all right, this should be done in person.

Do you think I should have something on paper to show them? I'm concerned that I'll start fumbling around once I get there, especially if I have the boys in tow although I might try to find someone to watch them. I am trying to assume some positive intent, and I'm telling myself maybe they just don't know.

I'm definately getting more and more disturbed; I just found out this bookstore is where my BWing friends got their copy....as well as a number of young parents from their church who were recommending it.
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Old 08-10-2006, 11:46 AM   #11
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

Are they selling BW or Prep?

I would go to Ezzo.info and print off some articles specifically targeting scriptural and character issues. Prepare what you want to say, but give them something to chew on later. Definitely reference Ezzo.info so they can do their own reading.
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"Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep

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Old 08-10-2006, 01:18 PM   #12
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

More than hating that bookstores sell Ezzo & other punitive material - I hate that some churches offer his classes/training!
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Old 08-10-2006, 04:40 PM   #13
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

I think I'd go in with a plan. Perhaps something like:


1. Bring the books to the manager along with info about the church discipline/questionable hermenuetic concerns printed out. I've also brought up that I am aware BW is *very* popular in this area, but that I know several babies in our area who have had growth problems, been dx'd FTT or hospitalized. (Like our son was dx'd FTT. . .)

2. Acknowledge that you understand that he may not want to "censor" books with an appeal in the Christian community, but with the questionable medical information/credibility issues, he may want to consider not keeping the books on the shelves, but keeping them in the back for when parents specificly request them. When they are sold not to restock them (available through special order only.)

3. If he's not amenable to that, suggest having a flyer or warning tucked in the books. For example this, this or this.


Just some ideas. . .


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Old 08-11-2006, 12:54 PM   #14
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Default Re: Ack! My local Bible Bookstore

I completely agree with what the other ladies said. They gave really great advice. I wanted to wish you luck. I would definitely suggest some GBD books as an alternative to the ones they have.
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