Love Language: "Acts of Service" how does that play out?

[ValiantJoy07]

Specifically if it's a strong love language for our kids?

It's my top love language and I feel like I am always pouring it out just because that's what you do as a parent: it's pretty much all acts of service.

BUT when a child...say 5 years old and up has it as a top love language how does that play out?

I clean the kids room for them, just because. They can clean it, they do clean it pretty often (albeit in a kidd-ish way). They like it clean. They actually notice when I clean it and gush.

I'm trying to think of other ways because so much of what I do for them are necessities still, it's not really "this is a bonus act of love" kind of deal.

I was just thinking about this and curious. It's some thing I was reflecting on "ways I can show love in ways they'll feel it and remember" as their Mama.

[Pragmatist]

Ask them what you do that makes them feel special or loved. There's only one of you so you can't do everything, but focus on the things that are really important to them.

[2sunshines]

For my acts of service family, it's often just really noticing the little details and doing those. For example, my one daughter LOVES banana bread. Especially warm. So it's a real display of love towards her to have a loaf hot from the oven when she arrives home from school.

It is harder when it's kids, because so many of the "acts of service" that we do for them are just a natural extension of our motherhood. But I agree with asking them. And noticing little details of their preferences.

[MegMarch]

I think noticing your child's acts of service for you will be a huge part of this. Appreciating those efforts and not adding tips for next time or requesting redos.

I wonder if adding a little something to what you do already would be good? Like if you make a lunch, try some of the fun bento or cut out stuff. If you put away some toys, put them in a funny diorama on the shelf.

[ECingMama]

My Dad's love language is acts of service, and it's easy to take advantage of him/that expression of love.

So...as she ages and is capable of doing more in your large, busy family, NOTICING and PRAISING her and THANKING her will be important, I would think.

[MariJo7]

Very true, especially noticing is important.

Acts of service is my primary LL. I don't care so much for being thanked or praised, actually, too much of praise makes me feel uneasy. But I love to see people enjoy the things I have made or done. Even when they do not know it was me. I like to see the food and cookies disappear and I like to see people having fun at the dining table.

I guess your children would really enjoy cooking and baking together. And after they have made something, I believe remarks like "Umm, it smells delicious" or "Can I have another one of these?" are fine ways of noticing the act of service. Also asking for a spesific service may work well, something like: "Grandma is coming. No one can set the table (or bake oat cookies, or pick flowers, or draw a welkome card....) as nicely as you. Woud you like to do it?"