Parenting with love and logic

Beauty4Ashes · 06-12-2006, 07:22 AM

Does it seem awfully punitive, or is it just me? It seems to take a really negative view of children, like the question of do you wake up out of a deep sleep when Johnny wails from his crib. My friend recommended it, she is trying to do less spanking and use logical consequences with her two daughters. Thoughts?

CelticJourney · 06-12-2006, 01:15 PM

Well, by the 'view' count I guess there are 22 of us that haven't read the books, so we don't have an opinion

If you feel it is punitive and adversarial, I think you are probably right! Maybe it would be a good opportunity to talk about that with your friend about what you like and what subtle messages you don't like. I think it is important to understand the underlying messages some of theses books present (us-against-them) and that might help her succeed in not spanking and enjoying her kids more.

Mama Rophe · 06-12-2006, 01:26 PM

I was just going to post about this author. He is going to give a free parenting seminar in my town and I was wondering about him. I've heard of the books but I've never read them myself. I am interested to hear what all of you have to say. Tammy, I am interested to hear from you also. (Since you are reading the book)

Gentle Journey · 06-12-2006, 01:52 PM

06-12-2006, 02:31 PM

There are other threads on this. I believe in UPP too. I like logical parenting, but can't remember what I liked and didn't like

arymanth · 06-12-2006, 03:46 PM

I haven't read the book in awhile, but I have been to the website and my own impression was that it had a very "passive/aggressive" feel to it. It seemed to use "natural consequences" as a more subtle form of punishment... a kind of "that's what you get" attitude. It didn't sound like the way I would want to be treated.

Stephanie

Punkie · 06-12-2006, 03:48 PM

Yeah, there's a fair amount of past posts on it. I searched for it a while back because we were looking at a church that was offering the curriculum. A fellow GCM mom that I know IRL told me that when she worked at a foster agency they had a family who had all the kids removed from their home based on the way they implemented L&L.

06-12-2006, 07:03 PM

If a parent is very permissive, L&L can give them the guts to set some good reasonable boundaries and let their children deal with some reasonable natural consequences. It was very helpful for my SIL who was so over the top permissive and tended to create these perfect environments for her children. I'm all for setting them up for success but she wouldn't allow any chance of unpleasantness or disappointment. However, I have also seen it taken to an extreme of very cold detached parenting where children are left to fend for themselves in the name of consequences. I would go to a seminar by them but I would be very careful who I asked to go with me because I wouldn't want to influence someone who might be vulnerable to the extremes.

Magan

06-12-2006, 07:22 AM	#1
Beauty4Ashes Rose Garden Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 13,095	Parenting with love and logic Does it seem awfully punitive, or is it just me? It seems to take a really negative view of children, like the question of do you wake up out of a deep sleep when Johnny wails from his crib. My friend recommended it, she is trying to do less spanking and use logical consequences with her two daughters. Thoughts? __________________ Tammy--ISTJ wife to AbuBa(6/2001) mom to B (6/2004) D (6/2005) L 4/2008 R 9/2015 Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that they might be glorified.

06-12-2006, 01:15 PM	#2
CelticJourney Administrator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 34,568	Re: Parenting with love and logic Well, by the 'view' count I guess there are 22 of us that haven't read the books, so we don't have an opinion If you feel it is punitive and adversarial, I think you are probably right! Maybe it would be a good opportunity to talk about that with your friend about what you like and what subtle messages you don't like. I think it is important to understand the underlying messages some of theses books present (us-against-them) and that might help her succeed in not spanking and enjoying her kids more. __________________ Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19

06-12-2006, 01:26 PM	#3
Mama Rophe Rose Garden Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: South Dakota. Posts: 7,152	Re: Parenting with love and logic I was just going to post about this author. He is going to give a free parenting seminar in my town and I was wondering about him. I've heard of the books but I've never read them myself. I am interested to hear what all of you have to say. Tammy, I am interested to hear from you also. (Since you are reading the book) __________________ ...

06-12-2006, 01:52 PM	#4
Gentle Journey Rose Garden Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In a box with a fox Posts: 13,420	Re: Parenting with love and logic __________________

06-12-2006, 02:31 PM	#5
mom2jolakeil Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Parenting with love and logic There are other threads on this. I believe in UPP too. I like logical parenting, but can't remember what I liked and didn't like

06-12-2006, 03:46 PM	#6
arymanth Rose Bouquet Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: NE Wisconsin Posts: 959	Re: Parenting with love and logic I haven't read the book in awhile, but I have been to the website and my own impression was that it had a very "passive/aggressive" feel to it. It seemed to use "natural consequences" as a more subtle form of punishment... a kind of "that's what you get" attitude. It didn't sound like the way I would want to be treated. Stephanie __________________ Stephanie, Mom to Seven Sensational Kids... Christopher -24, Jordan -21, Ian -19, Benjamin -16, Ivy -14, Josie -7 and Ronen -4 and creator of IvyRose Spica Chairs Now blogging at The Shepherd's Apprentice

06-12-2006, 03:48 PM	#7
Punkie Administrator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 20,092	Re: Parenting with love and logic Yeah, there's a fair amount of past posts on it. I searched for it a while back because we were looking at a church that was offering the curriculum. A fellow GCM mom that I know IRL told me that when she worked at a foster agency they had a family who had all the kids removed from their home based on the way they implemented L&L. __________________ GCM Admin and Moderator in Questions About the Message Board, Drawing Closer, Let's Talk, Weight Management, In the News, and Electronics. Homeschooling mom to 4, certified herbalist, homesteader, and overly ambitious crafter

06-12-2006, 07:03 PM	#8
mom2threePKs Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Parenting with love and logic If a parent is very permissive, L&L can give them the guts to set some good reasonable boundaries and let their children deal with some reasonable natural consequences. It was very helpful for my SIL who was so over the top permissive and tended to create these perfect environments for her children. I'm all for setting them up for success but she wouldn't allow any chance of unpleasantness or disappointment. However, I have also seen it taken to an extreme of very cold detached parenting where children are left to fend for themselves in the name of consequences. I would go to a seminar by them but I would be very careful who I asked to go with me because I wouldn't want to influence someone who might be vulnerable to the extremes. Magan

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