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Old 10-23-2018, 08:03 AM   #1
lavenlove
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Default Love & Logic

So Iíve heard of Love and Logic over the years and I didnít know a lot about it. I looked it up to see if it promotes spanking. Apparently when it was first written, it did suggest spanking, but now they have reversed their position on that and admit thereís a lot of info against spanking. Is anyone familiar with the program or specific books by them?


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Old 10-23-2018, 08:36 AM   #2
Katigre
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Default Re: Love & Logic

It can be helpful for parents who struggle to set boundaries and are too permissive. It can be used harshly by parents who tend to be punitive. It does not promote spanking. It is most helpful for parenting tweens/teens (i.e., older children who are able to understand cause-effect relationships for their actions). When I read it a number of years ago I got a few helpful ideas from it. It takes a 'toolbox' approach IIRC.

Basically, it can be used either punitively or in a way that promotes personal responsibility by the child, it all depends on how the parent sets the tone of relationship in the home.
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Old 10-23-2018, 10:59 AM   #3
Aerynne
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Default Re: Love & Logic

I've read it- my thought was it was too much logic, not enough love. I do use some of their principles, but some of their examples are pretty extreme and I feel like they really are devoid of emotion.
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Old 10-23-2018, 12:15 PM   #4
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Default Re: Love & Logic

I feel like Iím floundering all the time lately. I have three kids - an 8 yo girl, 5 yo boy and 2 yo girl. The 8 yo is diagnosed with ADHD and SPD. She is in school and the 5 yo is in 1/2 day pre-k, the 2 yo is home with me full time. Sheís extremely intelligent so ADHD isnít presenting problems at school, but we have LOTS of issues at home. She talks back, she ignores what I tell her to do, and she 75% of the time complains when I tell her to clean up or get dressed, whatever needs to happen next. The 5 yo does some of the same; I think itís highly likely he also has ADHD but he could also just be a regular little boy, copying bad behaviors of his big sister. Just need some concrete guidance on how to handle them. My husband came from a very punitive upbringing and feels like Iím constantly telling him heís a bad dad when I critique his attempts to discipline the kids, so itís a sore point between us. We have had lots of arguments about why I donít want to spank the children and heís finally let that go, thank God. Knowing her diagnoses has helped us a lot. We are in the process of trying meds for the ADHD and getting her into OT for the SPD.


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Old 10-23-2018, 02:09 PM   #5
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Default Re: Love & Logic

This is my top recommendation for 2 and 5 yo having trouble listening: "GOYB Parenting"

It was written by someone who was a member of GCM wayyyyyy back in the day. I have found it indispensible, and it will be more effective than a L&L approach with those ages. L&L is better once a foundation of cause-effect has been laid, and a child with ADHD or who hasn't already internalized following parental directions will not be a good fit for Love & Logic.
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Old 10-23-2018, 06:22 PM   #6
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Default Re: Love & Logic

Children do not truly even start to develop logic until around age 7 and with ADHD thatís going to be delayed as with most executive function. So using it with younger children is not especially useful. From what Iíve read of it, in older kids it tends to encourage setting them up to fail so that they ďlearn from itĒ. In older children, I think it is ok to allow natural consequences but also as important to learn to succeed as it is to learn how to handle failure. IMO better to set them up for success when they are younger so that when they are older they can use their then developed logic to troubleshoot their own problems.

This chart is a good guideline though Iím not sure I agree with the last part about development stopping at 30. I donít think you can paint every ADHD kid with the same brush but itís a good reminder that their executive function is delayed.


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