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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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03-20-2010, 07:08 PM | #61 | |
Rose Garden
Standing for gentleness and honesty
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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And lots of us are also working on not hitting and learning new tools instead. Myself included.
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Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A |
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03-20-2010, 07:27 PM | #62 |
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
What Tripp and Pearl and Dobson fail to see is that raising your kids doesn't have to be an "us vs them" event. So although Tripp may have changed his tune a bit about spanking and that leading to salvation...he still desires for the parent to control the child. And not in healthy way , but in an adversarial manner. Parenting doesn't have to mean using "I'm the boss" arguments. As long as Tripp is still using the "us vs them" paradigm in his teachings , it's not worth it imo , to dig through to get to the "good stuff".
Here's the thing that rubs me... we are not in control of our child's salvation. That's on THEIR shoulders. My job is to show them a loving , kind , God that wants a real relationship with them. Past that , it's on THEIR terms. Not mine. No amount of applied parenting techniques takes away from the bare fact that we are only responsible for our own salvation. I can't find anywhere in the Bible where it says we are responsible for any one else's salvation , including our children. The verse so commonly used "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right"... the author is speaking to THE CHILDREN. Not the parents. That's for CHILDREN to read , to decide , to obey. I think it was ArmsOfLove (Crystal) that said "Children choose to obey us when they are obeying God." To swipe it around (they'll learn to obey God by obeying us) is putting the cart before the horse. Remember that verse isn't directed toward the parents. It's directed to the kids. My job is to show my kids that verse , and all the others surrounding it. Past that , that's their onus , not mine. Their salvation is in THEIR hands , not mine. Yes , that is a scary thought , but it's true. I can only help them so far , it's their road to walk. What I want my children to learn about God through me...he's gracious , he's kind , he's merciful , and he wants to know them personally. I just don't see how that is best done when I've created an environment like Tripp wants (as SACH shows)...where the parents and the kids are against each other. That the kids are always manipulative or out to prove something and us parents must break that out of them. I also get sick at the "nine month old child manipulating during a diaper change by wiggling" concept. Children don't have the mental capacity to manipulate until they are MUCH older. It just perpetuates the whole "us vs them" mindset. That's where I think the true danger lies in the Pearl/Tripp/Dobson teachings. |
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03-20-2010, 07:52 PM | #63 |
Rose Garden
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
JK3 - can I quote you? PM me your real name if you want that sort of credit.
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03-20-2010, 07:59 PM | #64 |
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Hi ! I'm Myrtle. I like to pretend I'm an R.O.U.S.
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
I pm'd you so as not to throw the thread off too much with questions I had.
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03-20-2010, 08:41 PM | #65 | |
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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this is in no means ment to hurt the OP or the PP...i also understand this must be a most difficult transition for you. i just want to encourage you to remember to test everything you hear and learn agains the authority of scripture. its so difficult to sort out the "good from the bad". |
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03-21-2010, 03:51 AM | #66 | |||||||||
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
(I apologize that my post is kind of all over the place. I wanted to respond to so many things, and didn't even get to everything, and it was a little overwhelming for me. lol . . .)
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Striving4Grace, I really can understand why you enjoy learning from your pastor and why you attend that church. Tedd Tripp is Reformed Baptist as I recall, and as someone who attended a Reformed Baptist church for 8 years (until we left two years ago), I can understand being drawn to attend that church. I trust that God will continue to guide you on this journey. Kathy, I really think you are right when you say that Tedd Tripp "may grow, change, or become more nuanced in his ideas of how grace and truth can be applied to parenting." Reformed Christians tend to talk a *lot* about God's grace and, I personally believe, tend to understand a lot of good things about God's grace. Yet in many cases, and I see this being true of much of evangelical Christianity in general, too, it seems that somehow they don't seem to grasp ways it should apply to parenting our children. But there are those who do apply it beautifully, and it sounds like he may be learning and understanding more about how grace applies to parenting. That is my prayer. Quote:
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03-21-2010, 04:23 PM | #67 | |
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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03-21-2010, 07:41 PM | #68 | |
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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it is a huge step of faith and trust in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ to realize only He determins the salvation of our little ones...despite all we my desire and do. |
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03-21-2010, 07:45 PM | #69 |
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
NM, I posted before finishing all 5 pages!
Last edited by jewelmcjem; 03-21-2010 at 08:35 PM. |
03-21-2010, 09:25 PM | #70 |
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
In response to the OP:
Is it weird that I kind of assume that all pastors/teachers/Christians are punitive unless they have expressly said otherwise? I'm wary of anything and everything that comes into my hand with a 'Christian' label because I've never known Christians who weren't punitive until I came here. It is all I've ever experienced. His theology doesn't surprise me, though it's certainly still sad. It makes me wonder what percentage of Christians are punitive minded (both theologically and parenting-wise) and how many have a true understanding of Grace as it applies to every area of our lives. |
03-22-2010, 05:27 AM | #71 | |
Rose Garden
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
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Alison wife to Daniel mother to AJ (12/28/05) and PJ (03/19/08) Inspirational Women's Fiction author Children's storybook author Homeschool coach |
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03-22-2010, 08:15 AM | #72 | |
Rose Trellis
Learning what I'm called to believe
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
Just quoting and commenting on what has been said. So sad.
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03-22-2010, 03:43 PM | #73 |
Rose Bouquet
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
Here are "Notes from Ted Tripp": He wrote the post on May 22nd, 2009,after he wrote Instructing a Child's Heart: He is responding tho the question why "Shepherding a Child's Heart remains popular. So, no, he still supports his original teachings.
"Shepherding a Child's Heart" provides parents with biblical advice". There are 5 paragraphs here: http://www.shepherdpress. com/blog/notes-from-tedd-tripp/ |
03-23-2010, 06:36 PM | #74 |
Rose Bouquet
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
Dear Striving for Grace,
I just want to mention is that everything is subject to perception. Though Ted Tripp may have a limits in mind, when he talks of hitting children, the limits aren't laid out. Readers like those of Michael Pearl's material could apply their own interpretations on Ted Tripp's teachings in a punishment session and it could cause injury like in the Schatz case even though Ted Tripp wouldn't intend for that to happen of course. Does that make sense? ☺ Last edited by mothersson2002; 03-23-2010 at 06:58 PM. |
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03-23-2010, 06:44 PM | #75 |
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Re: Kirk Cameron and Ted Tripp
I don't think that anyone is a monster. Not even Pearl. What I do think is that they can be dangerous for certain people, due to what they teach publicly and profusely. I do think that they can be mistaken. I do think that they can just plain wrong. They are (their teachings) the poop in the brownie, and the poison in the soup. Sometimes people just don't know it's there until too late.
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