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Old 01-30-2013, 09:30 AM   #496
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

It helps me to reframe "chores" as my "happy list" - focusing on how happy, free, light and focused I feel when at least one area of my home is decluttered and clean. I feel super good about that! I try to transfer that final feeling into how I feel as I work toward something I really want. Chores that were heavy burdens are instead things I do to work toward enjoyment of my home. I'm not a cleanie at all (cleanies in my life are literally OCD and are constantly bleaching their baseboards), but working on that mindset of "this is hard, but I love working toward an enjoyable home space. I want the enjoyable home space more than I want to browse the internet for another hour" has really helped me in my journey toward a manageable household (still definitely not there yet!).
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Old 03-19-2013, 04:10 PM   #497
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

Ugh, this thread gets me for sure I could cry. I do try to keep on top of things and wouldn't say our home is dirty, but it is very cluttered and messy don't know quite where I'm going wrong as always seem to be busy doing stuff, but nothing seems to get done IYKWIM?
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Old 03-19-2013, 05:41 PM   #498
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by NFPMamato5 View Post
Ugh, this thread gets me for sure I could cry. I do try to keep on top of things and wouldn't say our home is dirty, but it is very cluttered and messy don't know quite where I'm going wrong as always seem to be busy doing stuff, but nothing seems to get done IYKWIM?
You have a lot of little kids. It's totally understandable that your house isn't tidy.
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Old 06-02-2013, 11:20 AM   #499
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

Has anyone tried the House That Cleans Itself book/system? I just got it from my library and it's specifically for the "housekeeping impaired" and sounds way more promising than anything else I've tried (FlyLady is a DISASTER for me)
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Old 11-04-2013, 03:18 PM   #500
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

I SO fall into this category. My home hasn't been deep cleaned in forever. I always think to myself "I need to invite people over more so I am motivated to clean", but then I never invite anyone over because I had no time, or was too embarrassed by the current state (except that I keep our living room neat since that's where I teach voice lessons).

Now that I'm only teaching and not working another job, I have more time, although I can't stand or be too active for too long due to pregnancy-related SPD.

My goal before baby arrives is to get a binder system in place so I can get and stay (at least somewhat) organized, and DH/family can keep on top of things the first few weeks.

The HHBC should help, because it's a clear list of items and I like to get points/win/get kudos - that helps motivate me and get me out from that "so overwhelmed I can't start anything" state.
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Old 12-30-2013, 06:41 AM   #501
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Default Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

I haven't been able to read all of this thread, but do other Messies struggle with guilt and shame over their houses? I have a really toxic narrative running in my head about the state of my house. Like, all the time. My mom and grandma are both Cleanies, so compared to the way I grew up, we live in a sty.

Part of the issue is that I'm such a slow cleaner. I can never clean faster than my family can wreck the rooms behind me.

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Old 12-30-2013, 07:15 AM   #502
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

I have had that feeling, yes. But the more I'm in depression, the more that tape plays. That and realizing that my memories of a clean house are from when I was older than my kids are now. And my mom doesn't think it's a sin to have a messy house with littles.

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Old 12-30-2013, 08:17 AM   #503
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

yes, shame and guilt, so much so that I avoid this thread because of the title.

I am not a messy. My house is cluttered and unorganized for many reasons, none of which are those implied by calling myself, 'a messy'.

I actually tend to avoid all housekeeping tips/tricks/contests/discussions because nobody wants to believe I've tried everything already.

sooo why am I posting? oh- the shame thing. yeah.
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Old 12-30-2013, 08:48 AM   #504
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Originally Posted by peridot View Post
yes, shame and guilt, so much so that I avoid this thread because of the title.

I am not a messy. My house is cluttered and unorganized for many reasons, none of which are those implied by calling myself, 'a messy'.

I actually tend to avoid all housekeeping tips/tricks/contests/discussions because nobody wants to believe I've tried everything already.

sooo why am I posting? oh- the shame thing. yeah.




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Old 12-30-2013, 10:02 AM   #505
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

my mum has forgotten how bad our house was growing up.... maybe it wasn't quite as bad as mine but it was never tidy. she's a hoarder... and there is still stuff piled on all her corners and "her" room in her house, though there haven't been children at home for nearly 9 years...
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Old 12-30-2013, 10:12 AM   #506
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

I've gotten to a point where I only really feel shame when my mother or MIL are going to be around. We try to host events fairly frequently, so we end up having to at least keep the common areas clean. I've given up on our "private" areas (office, 2nd floor).

And I never "deep" clean.
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Old 12-31-2013, 03:19 PM   #507
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

While I'm still a messy, when I was working less I enjoyed using HomeRoutines & this article has a few other apps that might give someone a jump-start.

**Warning... one app has some swears in the title... beautiful beautiful swears... **

http://techcrunch.com/2013/12/30/chore-apps/
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Old 01-01-2014, 11:39 PM   #508
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

Definitely feel the shame and guilt thing.

It's especially frustrating now that I have the *time* but not the full ability to do cleaning as I'd like. Everything's going to change with a baby in the house anyway, so what can you do?

DH and I did do some major cleaning before MIL and FIL came by to help us set up some baby stuff. So as long as we can keep things as they are and do a little more decluttering/organizing over the next month, it shouldn't be too bad.

We've always lived in small spaces, which seems to make it harder when I love books and crafting.
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Old 01-02-2014, 01:36 PM   #509
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

Guilt & Shame--for sure! I look at tomorrow with so much promise and the more I plan to do the next day, the further behind I seem to fall. I feel like I really struggle with implementing tasks or goals since DD arrived--like that part of me got lost somehow.

I just can't seem to figure out how to keep all the balls rolling--interacting with DD, cleaning the house from its present state to "acceptable", maintaining it once it does look acceptable, managing the laundry, meals, errands. Add to that the weight-loss goals and healthy living choices I want to make and its just utterly overwhelming.
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Old 01-05-2014, 05:44 AM   #510
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Default Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

Oh you guys have hit a sore spot with this one.
I almost don't want to post here because subscribing will bring it up in my list and remind me of everything I should be doing (did someone mention shame and guilt?!)
I actually have a weekly cleaner (we barter for maths tutoring!), but hours after she's been it's a bomb site again and the night before she comes is a massive headache desperately trying to tidy the junk so she can have a floor to clean!

I just can't seem to make this something that is a habit. If I'm at someone else's house I wouldn't dream of finishing a meal and leaving my plates on the table, yet at home I'm constantly clearing away dinner plates so we have room to eat breakfast

I feel so inferior to all the proper mums who manage to keep house. I sometimes feel like a little kid doing a bad job of pretending to be a grownup
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