Temper tantrums

KSM · 09-25-2014, 06:26 AM

I just found this board about a week ago and had never heard of grace based discipline before. I'm curious to hear how y'all would handle public temper tantrum....in a huge 65 lb 6 year old, not a toddler.

Last night, a lot of the boys at church were playing football after dinner. Dis is used to being the biggest, fastest kid his age, but last night the other boys were 2-3 years older. When ds wasn't the best he started to get really mad (this is something we're working on, and I think it's good for him to lose sometimes). Then he started to cheat and the other boys didn't want to play with a cheater. When ds whined to me, I explained that he should play by the rules if he wanted to play. He wanted me to sympathize and force the other kids to play with him. When I didn't make other kids play, that's when he started jumping, flailing, screaming, and just throwing an all out temper tantrum. I ended up dragging ds to the van where we stayed until his brothers were done playing then telling him if he acted that way he was obviously too tired and needed to go straight to bed when we got home. (He continued to scream in the van and on the way home, 45+ minutes total)

I know that spanking would stop this for him, but that's not the best solution. He wants to hate himself and craves yelling and punishment.

At age 4, he did this 5-10 times a day and was sent to his room every time. At age 5, the temper tantrums decreased some, but I was pregnant and there were times I had to call someone else to sit with him while took his little brother and left to keep us safe. At age 6, he was officially adopted and we threatened spankings, within a month the temper tantrums stopped for over half a year. Lately, he is so angry at his birth mom, he wants to feel sorry for himself. Last night, there was no loss of control. He was very obviously forcing himself to throw a fit. He WANTED everyone to hate him and think he's crazy. He WANTED me to yell and spank him. He tried to push all my buttons to make me mad (screaming, hitting, calmly saying "if you tell me sad things like I have to go to bed I'm just going to be more afraid of you and never love you").

Well, now that I feel like I've written a book.... Lol. Sorry for the novel. Sorry if this isn't an appropriate post?

09-25-2014, 06:26 AM	#1
KSM Seedling Rose Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: Texas Posts: 15	Temper tantrums I just found this board about a week ago and had never heard of grace based discipline before. I'm curious to hear how y'all would handle public temper tantrum....in a huge 65 lb 6 year old, not a toddler. Last night, a lot of the boys at church were playing football after dinner. Dis is used to being the biggest, fastest kid his age, but last night the other boys were 2-3 years older. When ds wasn't the best he started to get really mad (this is something we're working on, and I think it's good for him to lose sometimes). Then he started to cheat and the other boys didn't want to play with a cheater. When ds whined to me, I explained that he should play by the rules if he wanted to play. He wanted me to sympathize and force the other kids to play with him. When I didn't make other kids play, that's when he started jumping, flailing, screaming, and just throwing an all out temper tantrum. I ended up dragging ds to the van where we stayed until his brothers were done playing then telling him if he acted that way he was obviously too tired and needed to go straight to bed when we got home. (He continued to scream in the van and on the way home, 45+ minutes total) I know that spanking would stop this for him, but that's not the best solution. He wants to hate himself and craves yelling and punishment. At age 4, he did this 5-10 times a day and was sent to his room every time. At age 5, the temper tantrums decreased some, but I was pregnant and there were times I had to call someone else to sit with him while took his little brother and left to keep us safe. At age 6, he was officially adopted and we threatened spankings, within a month the temper tantrums stopped for over half a year. Lately, he is so angry at his birth mom, he wants to feel sorry for himself. Last night, there was no loss of control. He was very obviously forcing himself to throw a fit. He WANTED everyone to hate him and think he's crazy. He WANTED me to yell and spank him. He tried to push all my buttons to make me mad (screaming, hitting, calmly saying "if you tell me sad things like I have to go to bed I'm just going to be more afraid of you and never love you"). Well, now that I feel like I've written a book.... Lol. Sorry for the novel. Sorry if this isn't an appropriate post?

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